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Dragoneer and 2024 update
a year ago
Incredible Friends who I never want to lose
whyteyote
fluffyfuzzy
wolfwingx
whyteyote
fluffyfuzzy
wolfwingxWell first off lets start with the elephant in the room and thats with Dragoneers passing. This has truly upset me in more ways than i thought it would. I never spoke to him often but when i did he was always friendly and quite sociable. I never got to thank him for everything he has done for me and the fandom as a whole. If it wasnt for him snd his efforts along with the teams of others he worked with I might never have gotten to meet or chat with any of you.
Furaffinity was my first real home I can say I always felt comfortable going to in that tumultuous time I called my early 20's and late teens. I was never social growing up, desoite being raised by an extroverted family. I had always taken solace in art, animation, and animals. Thats where being a furry combined all these things into one. I remember stumbling upon this site ages ago at an age where I wasn't particularly ready snd rediscovering it a few years later in 2012. Since then I've made almost all of my friends and now my husband because of this place. A site and a community that has allowed me to grow and become a better person,a a place that allowed me to feel comfortable in my own skin or fur, a site that allowed me to just be me and indulge in stuff I've loved without being ridiculed. So with all that said i want to truly thank Dragoneer for everything he has done for me and this fandom as a whole. You will never be forgotten and your legacy will live on in the memories and hearts of those who knew you and those who call this place home.
2024...its been one hell of a year. For me personally and people I know, we've been calling it the year of death. With the passing of friends, family, and almost myself this year, I'm going to agree. Its been a hellish 8 months and I'm just hoping to make it to my 30th birthday. Truly this has been a traumatic year for me with the passing of multiple prominent figures in the fandom.
This year has made me realize how fragile we really are especially and how short life really in and can be. I've been largely quiet about myself lately especially since April. I dont know how to put into words what ive been feeling but with everythomg that going on i feel like i should talk about it.
(Feel free to skip this last part. TW/CW: Talking about medical trauma, death, blood)
As I mentioned earlier, I too almost died this year and have been left with complex ptsd. It all start back in november of 2023, came down witb a case of strep throat. Thinking nothing of it, I got treated went on anti biotics and moved on from them fast forward to mid december, got strep again didnt like the idea of gaving strep again but it can't be helped. So same treatment rinse and repeat. Early January rolls around and what di you know, strep is back. Boss and urgent care are concerned since this is way more than it should be and told me to keep an eye on things. Mid January after i finish my regimine of antibiotics again and ive come down with strep throat again. So after all of that, doctors gets me scheduled for a tonsillectomy in mid March. Come March, I developed RSV and Covid, fortunately they were minor cases before the surgery. The surgery was done and i thought that was the end of my troubles. If you havent had your tontils removed its roughly 10-14 days of recovery. Come day 8 of recovery its midnightish I'm up gaming and i notice I tasted blood and went rinse my mouth out. Bleeding is normal but this wasnt stopping so getting concerned. My husband then fiancé and i call the ER, we go in and they say nothing is wrong since the bleeding had stopped, and to call the surgeon who perfomed the surgery. Day 10 thoat was still sore but no bleeding. Friend asks me to help him move a mattress, I guess that was too much for me. I felt my mouth fill with blood again and I had to stop to go deal with that. After rinsing my mouth out , went home to no more incidents until around 6pm, started rasted blood while i was in the shower but thought nothing of it since i was short lived until a few hours later when i startsd coughing up more blood and swallowing around midnight. Went to the ER again. They gave me a nebulizer, said I was fine it was just a post hemorrhage bleeding. At the time my gut and instinct were screaming at me to go get this looked at again but i ignored my instincts. Over the next 6 days there were multiplebleeding incidents but seeing that id rather not be in the ER multipletimes to be told im okay and I just need to call the surgeon. Ive called them multiple times at this point but i guess the durgeon was on vacation or busy when I did call.
April 4th rolls around, I'm fully recovered or at least im supposed to be. I'm woken up choking on my own blood. Freaking out i go to try to stop the bleeding but this time it won't stop and didn't until about an hour or so later. Calling the surgeon we talk to a triage nurse. She tells me to go to the ER, we explain we've been there multiple times and they keep telling us I'm fine and call the surgeon. She proceeds to ask where we were going and gives out an exasperated sigh before telling me to go to any other ER but that particular one if the bleeding happens again. The night goes back to normal albeit a little shaky and all was well until i went to work. I go in at roughly 7am and start cleaning so we can open up the shop, 7:30 ish I start bleeding from the throat again, thinking little of it I try to stop the bleeding. I was successful for only a few minutes at a time. At 8 or 9am the day is in full swing, im washing my dogs ao i can get started on haircuts but i have to keep stopping to spit out blood and around that time i had coughed up a clot. Things only went downhill from there, around 10 i wasnt feeling very good, coworkers were all asking if i was okay , and eventually I said fuck it, I'm going to home to go to the ER. But first I needed to tell my fiancé what was going on. Fortunately I worked across the street from him and as I went to go to his job, I felt worse and worse. By time I got in there things were feeling bad, very bad, I felt that I needed help and urgently. The staff I guess couldn't understand English when I asked could they go find my fiance, mostly staring at me with the blankest of stares. Feeling like I needed to hurl I made it two or three steps,before vomiting up blood on the floor and myself before collapsing on the ground. I don't have much of a recollection of what happened afterwards aside from using whatever strength I had to call my fiancé and tell him I needed help. There are passing glimpses of me being in the hospital, a seizure, dangerously low blood pressure and feeling very cold. But to make a long story short that experience has left me traumatized and more exposed than I've ever been in my life up to now.
Since then I've gotten better but the trauma and vulnerability are still there. The fear of death stronger than ever. Fast forward to July 14th, got into a major accident leaving my car totalled, me with a dislocated L4 and L5, a misaligned pelvis, spine and neck, and now unable to work. So this just more trauma and bullshit this year I have to deal with.
I'm not sure how to rest of this year will go but I'm hoping I can live to see the next day in my life. I'm sorry for dumping all of this on my guys in a journal that was meant to say goodbye to dragoneer and update you guys on my life currently. I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for being with me all these years. It means the absolute world to me. This site made me less lonely in the is cold world and it still proceeds to do that. So for the last time, thank you Dragoneer, I hope you're in a better place free from the suffering you were going through
Friends for 30 years and counting!
R.I.P
BigMastiff
Jan 6, 1995- April 11, 2017
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Commission queue: Open
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BigMastiff
GraveyardGreg
~graveyardgreg
Jesus I hope this year of hell ends for you and me.
Thanks man and I hope things get better for you as well, I know it's been rough on you as well
LimboJack
~limbojack
Holy crap! I’m really sorry for everything you’ve gone through. Thank God you’re still around after all of this. Hope the rest of the year is less hellish on you. *hugs*
Yeah thank you, I'm trying, PTSD is a bitch to work with but I'm glad I'm still here as well. Here's hoping to a better year
reddog158
~reddog158
I'm really sorry you have to go through this... I'll be praying for you.
Sorry that happened man. Always here for you if you need me. But hope you feel better soon.
I'll send ya a message its just been rough
