This is just a little muse that I found myself having and I thought I'd write it down. I'm curious if anyone else feels similar.

Youtube - Cult of Personality

So from around 2021 to now, my health has been up and down and my income has jumped around with that too. It was around that time I decided "I want to start making my own stuff." , be that 3D art or 2D. I've dabbled quite a bit on the 2D front, making a few adoptables and editing bases, ect, but I've let my perfectionism / ADHD-esk fear of not being 'amazing' stop me from trying to be 'good enough to be finished' which goes against everything I've ever counselled others to do, struggling with their own creative-blocks (mindfulness therapy can be very good at figuring yourself out when you stop long enough to think about it).

That said, my art motivation has and always was "I want to make characters that I want to play as." (primarily over on F-list where I'm best known... probably both for being a loud mouth and a 'moderately' decent writer/role-player :P) It was never really to get likes, clicks or approval. I suppose I find a lot of that to be quite a superficial measuring stick if you don't rely on it for your income.

I once made a Sapphire exclusive Twitter account and role-played as her on there for about a week or two? Maybe three?. I know she's popular where she prowls, so I thought it would be a good laugh... (Oh foolish, sweet summer child that I was...)

I got one absolute idiot of a creeper in my DMs (you know who you are. I'm over it, but dude, wtf? Does that line usually work for you?) and that put me off the whole endeavour. I wasn't making any cash out of it, so I wasn't going to put up with the usual tosh that sex workers have to put up with on the regular (people messaging them typing with one hand and wanking with the other).

That experience essentially drilled into me that I don't get any gratification or satisfaction out of entertaining a loud silent majority. I'd much rather cater to a vocal small minority that actively give me feedback to work-off and generally make me feel good about the content I create and I'm very much like that in most areas of my life.

Now that backstory added, I find people, especially within my corner of the kinky web, mostly being micro/vore themes, who seem to invest insane amounts of money into a singular character, often a pred and they'll sink cash into commissions, which often converts into a large and consistent thrist audience (an audience with a laser focus on the pornography you're contributing to the community).

But within those cases above, I've noticed two distinctive types of 'Super Pred Art Commissioner' - Those who are chasing numbers/ clout and those who genuinely just love their character utterly and completely and they get off on the porn they purchase themselves. In an ideal world, I'd like to do more of the latter and I've set it as a goal to try to make some porn of my own cast, because there's so much stuff I'd love to see as visual art, so this one I get and it makes complete sense to me.

But it's that other group I find interesting and they're the topic of this particular brain fart. The people who consistently push artwork of one predator like a brand for the benefit of others, when they themselves might secretly have far, far subbier inclinations or just pine for the attention of others. Usually figureheads in our community (most of which have been lovely, with a small handful of those I've met seeming to be total arseholes).

Algorithmically speaking, that's 100% how you build a social media profile with numbers. You only need to look to the most notable characters in the fandom to spot this. Consistency is key for building numbers and cultivating a community of 'fans' (key word). The same psychology works for the most popular sex workers too.

I suppose the point I'm drumming to, if you do find yourself spending a fortune on artwork when your genuine love and passion isn't in it, I'd want to ask you whose attention are you trying to acquire?
And on top of that, ultimately, is it worth the cost to grab it? Is that going to make you happy when you finally do manage to get noticed by your idols?

I suspect there's probably a deeper reason for those who 'chase that dragon' (sometimes literally in the fandom) and attachment-style psychology might have something to do with it too.

Most of my art spending in the past that didn't fall into the aforementioned character buying, was often supporting struggling friends struggling to manage their finances / income (word of advice. Don't do this. If I could undo ever mixing friendship with business transactions, I 100% would). Admittedly, during the times when I've been a high earner (Gods I miss those paychecks) everything above barely matters. Spend your extra income on whatever brings you joy, so long as it is indeed, bringing you the joy you seek and you don't find yourself stuck with the horrible experiences of dealing with artists with awful communication skills + months of ghosting (you artists who avoid this. You are amazing. Genuinely the best).

TL/DR - I strongly believe that the furry fandom is not a place where money can buy you lasting happiness.

Quite a lot of us are very shallow in our interests here when we're being honest with ourselves. Though, if you can get past our mutual thirsts, kinks and cravings, there are some rich friendships you can make beneath that initial layer. Where and when possible, try to focus on the furs who always take the time to check in on you or stick with you or your community, even when you go through low points. They tend to be the ones you'll find a far better return of investment on, especially when it comes to spending money on art or buying games to play with one another.

What I do strongly believe brings you happiness within the fandom, is simply being a source of community, providing engagement for people to participate in or genuinely loving the work you put into your characters and your worlds so others can join them. There's going to be some crossover there within this and the above, but just make sure you don't get yourself lost spending a small fortune chasing popufurity (I pray I never have to write that word again).

This brainfart of a post was inspired by spotting a fellow writer I'm loosely familiar with who has spent a fortune on their predatory character and written hundreds of pages of vore content in a single document, only for said (very well put together stories/story) to barely get any clicks / views, which is a shame, as they've clearly worked bloody hard on it.

Where as by comparison and it still blows my mind to date, that my story here which features a ragtag band of furs, remains my most popular upload of mine.

I have absolutely no idea why. I'm pretty sure I wrote it whilst intoxicated and in like, an hour? If you are a fan of that particular story, please tell me why lol. I am genuinely, utterly perplexed, but supremely curious what makes it so clickable for people.

Tangent aside, make sure whatever money you're spending on stuff is going to genuinely bring you joy and be mindful of when you're buying art and why you're doing it.