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Health/Life Update
a year ago
Yesterday I was officially diagnosed with Depression and was told I have all the classic signs of it. Started taking Zoloft as well and will go back in a month for a follow-up. I still need to find a therapist, thought I'd be setting something up yesterday but guess not.
It gives me some peace seeing as I knew thats what it would be but at the same time I just feel like no longer who I use to be and somehow broken... Maybe thats just the truth of my life now though...
I know being able to actually talk with a professional will be able to help me process all this and next week I'll look into finding someone to do that with but it still hurts. Also writing down a bunch of my issues on paper yesterday really reminded how fucked I kind of am
Losing Siri is certainly the catalyst for all this but I have been juggling a lot of other trauma within the last 10+ years from various moments of my/our life together. Not to mention all the shit this year has added
Dealing w/ getting my allergies under control and thankful it seems like the shots have given me some much needed relief to a degree but all the stress that came with doing weekly 3hr round trips for 3 months plus my insurance gave me the run around all that time for giving me a reimbursement.
They did allow me to start taking my shots locally which has saved a lot of gas and only go back for the refill. Also my PCP has been such an amazing person to work with
My dental bill is still here and will be until its gone but glad I was able to get the dental work done, as scary it was. The pain I dealt with before was unbearable. How I was able to get a credit though is still boggling seeing as I've done nothing with credit.
Through all of this I also had made some terrible and selfish personal choices that had effected some folks with me trying to find someone to fill this gap in my heart. It's honestly what has lead me to where I am currently. I need to find myself again instead of looking for it in others.
I do very much appreciate everyone who has reached out to me with their support and care. I love all my friends and those who have given me a kind word or two. That's not what I'm talking about. I've just never truly been just me. I grew up with a twin bro and then had Siri. I find myself being triggered by small stuff that folks don't even mean to but it sends me into a spiral of sadness and grief where all I wanna do is cry or rage at everything. So many have also been going through their own issues and loss this year and it just makes all of this even worse
Plan going forward is to try & find a therapist to talk & get my brain sorted out and hopefully be able to find myself and who I am as just me, without someone by my side. Those read this difficult post, thank you and know that I may not be fine but everything will be okay
It gives me some peace seeing as I knew thats what it would be but at the same time I just feel like no longer who I use to be and somehow broken... Maybe thats just the truth of my life now though...
I know being able to actually talk with a professional will be able to help me process all this and next week I'll look into finding someone to do that with but it still hurts. Also writing down a bunch of my issues on paper yesterday really reminded how fucked I kind of am
Losing Siri is certainly the catalyst for all this but I have been juggling a lot of other trauma within the last 10+ years from various moments of my/our life together. Not to mention all the shit this year has added
Dealing w/ getting my allergies under control and thankful it seems like the shots have given me some much needed relief to a degree but all the stress that came with doing weekly 3hr round trips for 3 months plus my insurance gave me the run around all that time for giving me a reimbursement.
They did allow me to start taking my shots locally which has saved a lot of gas and only go back for the refill. Also my PCP has been such an amazing person to work with
My dental bill is still here and will be until its gone but glad I was able to get the dental work done, as scary it was. The pain I dealt with before was unbearable. How I was able to get a credit though is still boggling seeing as I've done nothing with credit.
Through all of this I also had made some terrible and selfish personal choices that had effected some folks with me trying to find someone to fill this gap in my heart. It's honestly what has lead me to where I am currently. I need to find myself again instead of looking for it in others.
I do very much appreciate everyone who has reached out to me with their support and care. I love all my friends and those who have given me a kind word or two. That's not what I'm talking about. I've just never truly been just me. I grew up with a twin bro and then had Siri. I find myself being triggered by small stuff that folks don't even mean to but it sends me into a spiral of sadness and grief where all I wanna do is cry or rage at everything. So many have also been going through their own issues and loss this year and it just makes all of this even worse
Plan going forward is to try & find a therapist to talk & get my brain sorted out and hopefully be able to find myself and who I am as just me, without someone by my side. Those read this difficult post, thank you and know that I may not be fine but everything will be okay
Glad to hear things are on the right track and hope things continue to improve you ya!
