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Can you help me with explosive anger?
a year ago
That Qirin dichotomy …
Welp I am usually a nice person, but I will be honest - I do explode in anger especially if someone is harassing me constantly… anyone have any advice of how to not lash out in anger ??? Will more meditation help ? I try to be transparent with who i am so forgive me if you’re disappointed that I can be rly angee . I have selfish and selfless reasons for wanting to try to quell what i say in anger - ill be honest . im just not a fan of hurting people although if i see with eyes clouded by hate the only relief i can get is to be nasty . But i need a better way .
It’s important to remember that sometimes people default to anger because it’s a “safe” emotion. As in it makes you feel like you’re protecting yourself. Lashing out is easy, especially if you’ve been raised in an environment that made you feel trapped, invalid, or like things are a competition.
Problem is lashing out rarely actually helps you, and very much hurts the people it’s directed towards. Anger is sometimes the answer, and being angry is okay in some situations, but it’s about learning how to manage anger in those situations so that you can stay within a rational limit
One thing that can help is to try to figure out where this stems from. Is it from experiences with certain people or situations in the past. And if you can find it, then try to work on mindfulness of that, and trying to distance the feeling of anger from those. Meditating can help with that too!
Another thing is zooming out from your life for a bit when emotions get overwhelming. Focus on little more positive things around you. Nice flowers, birds, trees, rain, whatever you enjoy! And sometimes that can help you feel less stuck in the situation and approach it more rationally when you get back to it
I hope this helps some!