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sigh... STILL CONTEMPLATING NEXT STEPS. (update and VENT)
a year ago
General
Now then... *clears throat* ... Dear journal (teehee)...I don't know, everybody... 😞
...
... I'm still expecting the worse about what happened at my job last week, and hoping for the better. That's why I NEED to have a "plan B", so that I don't lose around $150 a week. It's bad enough as it is that I'm still tackling and juggling with my unforgivable debt. NOW, I could lose this job, and I've been searching for another low-wage one since. I'm at a point where I gotta take what I can get to pay off this $1,800 outstanding debt that was just sold to a collector, JUST so I can finally go back to school. AGAIN, this could take a whole 'nother year and a half, given where I stand right now. And IF I do get fired (hopefully it won't come to that), then I'll be forced to cut even more just to keep my lights on and stuff. It's crazy...!
I am so so sorry that I'm having to share this with y'all, but I can only have so many options...
I'm SERIOUSLY considering doing another Drive, but should I...? And will there be ANY volunteers? And I'd really like to have that $1,800 paid off soon so that I won't be further in the toilet, should my job decide to fire me.
... ok. I believe context is in order. I HATE sharing this, but...
Last Wednesday, I made a stupid mistake of letting myself get scammed at the cashier. Long story short, the store was short $900, due to that mistake. I thought for sure it'd be a legit card load-up, but boy... was I wrong. For SOME reason, it never occurred to me that I got scammed until it was way too late. When that was brought to my attention upon closing the store that night, I was shocked, and the manager of that day angrily told me to leave not long after closing. I wasn't told yet that I was fired, but this KILLED me on the inside, assuming the worst. What if that was it...? Since then, I've been having serious bouts of depression, and a few times, I thought I was gonna vomit. It was bad.... Right now, my future at the store (and by extension, the company) is in doubt, and they've yet to get back to me about what's next. Yeah... I've been beating myself up ever since, and now I don't know what to do....
Well... now you know why I haven't been posting or doing anything creative here, as of late.... artist's block....
And to those of you who were waiting for the longest time on what I already owe, I cannot stress how sorry I am...
So, UNLESS something changes to get me out of this rut.... things are looking bleak right now, and I need MORE help now than ever... if you can spread this message to everyone you know, and some you don't know... I would be grateful.
GOD...!
...
... I'm still expecting the worse about what happened at my job last week, and hoping for the better. That's why I NEED to have a "plan B", so that I don't lose around $150 a week. It's bad enough as it is that I'm still tackling and juggling with my unforgivable debt. NOW, I could lose this job, and I've been searching for another low-wage one since. I'm at a point where I gotta take what I can get to pay off this $1,800 outstanding debt that was just sold to a collector, JUST so I can finally go back to school. AGAIN, this could take a whole 'nother year and a half, given where I stand right now. And IF I do get fired (hopefully it won't come to that), then I'll be forced to cut even more just to keep my lights on and stuff. It's crazy...!
I am so so sorry that I'm having to share this with y'all, but I can only have so many options...
I'm SERIOUSLY considering doing another Drive, but should I...? And will there be ANY volunteers? And I'd really like to have that $1,800 paid off soon so that I won't be further in the toilet, should my job decide to fire me.
... ok. I believe context is in order. I HATE sharing this, but...
Last Wednesday, I made a stupid mistake of letting myself get scammed at the cashier. Long story short, the store was short $900, due to that mistake. I thought for sure it'd be a legit card load-up, but boy... was I wrong. For SOME reason, it never occurred to me that I got scammed until it was way too late. When that was brought to my attention upon closing the store that night, I was shocked, and the manager of that day angrily told me to leave not long after closing. I wasn't told yet that I was fired, but this KILLED me on the inside, assuming the worst. What if that was it...? Since then, I've been having serious bouts of depression, and a few times, I thought I was gonna vomit. It was bad.... Right now, my future at the store (and by extension, the company) is in doubt, and they've yet to get back to me about what's next. Yeah... I've been beating myself up ever since, and now I don't know what to do....
Well... now you know why I haven't been posting or doing anything creative here, as of late.... artist's block....
And to those of you who were waiting for the longest time on what I already owe, I cannot stress how sorry I am...
So, UNLESS something changes to get me out of this rut.... things are looking bleak right now, and I need MORE help now than ever... if you can spread this message to everyone you know, and some you don't know... I would be grateful.
GOD...!
it's really tough for me, but I gotta do what I gotta do.