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Life is a shit sandwich
a year ago
It's been awhile since I've treaded about here and for good reason.
After having another mental breakdown with no "Friends" there to assist nor even notice. Through another stint of therapy, leaving my wife who I'd spent the majority of my life with being conditioned by to believe that somehow i was at fault. I was always at fault like some of the "Friends" here and yonder also renenfourcing this conditioning to make me feel as if I had some how done them wrong. To turn their back on me the very moment I should mention something they didn't agree with or got butt hurt over after years of "Friendship"....I finally began to unravel all of bullshit I've been fed by so many, the mental abuse I have suffered at the hands of those who claimed to care or even go so far as to insinuate they loved me. Such lies. But through the continued conditioning of the weak and broken they could successfully make one believe that somehow they were at fault for ending their "friendship", a "Friendship" that never really ever existed at all. One that was created out of pain then exploited for gain of some satisfaction that only they could understand. It's truly amazing just how much one is being manipulated and used without ever noticing it until they step back and look in from the outside.
I've been broken and used by so many and yet despite all their efforts I've only grown stronger and learned to identify who they are and how they have contorted the reality of our relationship for their gain alone. These people should feel shame for what they've done and possibly continue to do to other's under the same guies.
Yes I have changed, I have begun to truly see those for who they are and the pain and suffering they have happily brought onto me. For them I only wish that they too may suffer as I have at their paws. To believe that everything, every hurt, every argument and disagreement will be placed square upon their shoulders and that they to can suffer as they have me. That they too can see and feel the wasted year's resulting from their lies and conditioning only to be told, no made to believe that this illusion of friendship ever existed and that they've been played the fool all along for another's enjoyment.
I hope that if there is a place of suffering you'll find a home there and learn to enjoy it just as you have done to me. Hell would be a pleasant vacation from the suffering you have bestowed upon myself. I hate no one but I feel no sympathy for those who have placed this burden upon me.
Suffer as I have and enjoy!
After having another mental breakdown with no "Friends" there to assist nor even notice. Through another stint of therapy, leaving my wife who I'd spent the majority of my life with being conditioned by to believe that somehow i was at fault. I was always at fault like some of the "Friends" here and yonder also renenfourcing this conditioning to make me feel as if I had some how done them wrong. To turn their back on me the very moment I should mention something they didn't agree with or got butt hurt over after years of "Friendship"....I finally began to unravel all of bullshit I've been fed by so many, the mental abuse I have suffered at the hands of those who claimed to care or even go so far as to insinuate they loved me. Such lies. But through the continued conditioning of the weak and broken they could successfully make one believe that somehow they were at fault for ending their "friendship", a "Friendship" that never really ever existed at all. One that was created out of pain then exploited for gain of some satisfaction that only they could understand. It's truly amazing just how much one is being manipulated and used without ever noticing it until they step back and look in from the outside.
I've been broken and used by so many and yet despite all their efforts I've only grown stronger and learned to identify who they are and how they have contorted the reality of our relationship for their gain alone. These people should feel shame for what they've done and possibly continue to do to other's under the same guies.
Yes I have changed, I have begun to truly see those for who they are and the pain and suffering they have happily brought onto me. For them I only wish that they too may suffer as I have at their paws. To believe that everything, every hurt, every argument and disagreement will be placed square upon their shoulders and that they to can suffer as they have me. That they too can see and feel the wasted year's resulting from their lies and conditioning only to be told, no made to believe that this illusion of friendship ever existed and that they've been played the fool all along for another's enjoyment.
I hope that if there is a place of suffering you'll find a home there and learn to enjoy it just as you have done to me. Hell would be a pleasant vacation from the suffering you have bestowed upon myself. I hate no one but I feel no sympathy for those who have placed this burden upon me.
Suffer as I have and enjoy!
And then there is you, facing a single event, but one so large and all-encompassing. No wonder you've been quiet, I had wondered if you'd left the site honestly. Such life changes are momentous, when your whole view on things can turn, when you realize that what seemed normal isn't. I hope you're doing better now, I hope this experience has lifted a great weight and will allow you to go forward with boldness. Leave the pigs to wallow in mud, may you have more power to you and your flame!