I think I mentioned this in my earlier journal, whenever I fuck up my sleep schedule I get a strong sense of deja vu, and it's annoying as hell. I had to attend a family event after a few days of fucked up sleeping schedule (my own fault), and everything feels like a reoccurrence despite I am 100% certain it's my first time in a situation like that. Even worse, every youtube thumbnails I saw that day feels like I have seen them in a specific dream few years ago, but of course that's also my brain forming the idea on the spot. It really fucked with my sense of things and was only funny for the first few hours, then it's just annoying.

During the few days of fucked up sleep schedule, I basically had a half an hour nap right before the end of a 40 something hours of no sleep. When I woke up form that nap, I was still dead tired and my face feels numb due to the position I was in. It took me ten minutes to comprehend the fact that I have eye lids and a face and can control them, then gradually regain the comprehension of things like my limbs and temperature and whatnot. I could control my entire body and feel everything just fine the entire time, but my brain just took a while to re-labeling everything into something I can understand.

Feels like my brain is melting bit by bit but I don't think I care enough to sleep normally. I mean, why spend time not doing and experiencing anything when you can do the opposite of that?