So it's been almost 2 weeks since I've been out of the hospital and things have still been pretty rough. Still weak and dizzy when I stand up. It's also hard to breathe while standing. My stomach still feels like there's a balloon inside of it that just randomly expands for no reason. Food makes me nauseous, sometimes even vomiting, and my stomach is very picky on what I can and can't eat. The only things I've been able to stomach is fruit, oatmeal, cereal, Chinese food (for some reason) and the only thing that doesn't hurt my stomach at all is ice cream. But I know I can't just eat ice cream for every meal. Heavy stuff such as pizza, burgers, and fries... ya know, all the stuff I want to eat, my stomach just won't even allow me to think about. That's the part that sucks the most right now. Especially because my meds require me to eat food in order to take them. But my stomach won't let me eat much, so what the hell do I do!?

I made it through my antibiotics, but I still feel like shit. Also I'm pretty sure that my cyst has come back for a third time now because I can feel a familiar lump. On top of that, my feet have been in excruciating agony for about a week now. Probably because of the diabetes. It was so bad last night that I woke up at 4am in tears. I didn't know what to do so I went in to urgent care yesterday. I didn't want to go back to the ER so soon, but I know things still weren't right so I wanted to see at least some kind of medical professional. The only UC that takes my insurance is all the way down in Santa Clarita which is about a 40 minute drive from where I live. After waiting an hour, when I was finally seen I told them all about the hospital and the Sepsis, and that I think I need more antibiotics. They told me that they didn't want to prescribe me more antibiotics after having just finished a recommended dose. But they'll still check my blood and urine for any infections or other problems.

I was stabbed 15 to 20 times by 2 different """medical professionals""" who just could NOT find a vein. To which the doctor was like, "Okay, now you need to go to a lab." I didn't WANT to go to a fucking lab... I already took the day off of work to come HERE. Now I need to take tomorrow off to go to a fucking lab in the hopes that they can do what this Urgent Care could NOT accomplish. Completely wasted time, money, and gas. And all I ended up with was my veins even more blown out then when I arrived. Didn't prescribe me a damn thing either. Not even for the pain or even some god damn foot cream for fuck sake.... I was also straight up LIED to by one of the doctor/nurses/scammers who said that they will notify the closest lab so that I can get this done NOW. But when I looked up the locations on Google maps, every location was closed... even though he said that they're open until 8. So when the doctor came back in she was just like, "Yeah, they're all closed. Just go tomorrow....

Just a reminder that I fucking HATE doctors. Doctors seem to exist in this fake reality where they all think that time is infinite and that you can just GO to a medical facility and be seen and treated in 5 minutes. Had I gone back to the ER, I would most likely be stuck there again for multiple days. Well ya see... there's this little thing in life called... MONEY. And if you don't make money... you become HOMELESS. And I've already missed a full week of work. Now it's been about 2 weeks. Thank god I work at a job that's very supportive of my wellbeing and won't just up and fire me for the time that I've missed. But I'm also NOT getting paid! And I already used up all my sick time!

There is something so wrong and broken about the US healthcare system where I just want to get better. I just want to NOT be in pain 24 hours a day. And their reaction is, "We need to HOLD you in a building for multiple days instead of just giving you want you need. That way we can charge you up the ass! Charge tax payers up the ass! And especially charge the State up the ass!" Because this is California! Just become a millionaire and all your problems will just go away!

I just want to get better....