Hi there! It's been a minute since I've made a journal. I've been doing well in general, no big things to note!

Apart from that, though...


I will be changing my sona.


At some point.



For those not in the loop, I've been heavily going over... who I am, I suppose. Gender, how I present, what I want to be.

I've been thinking for the past, like, year and a half, that... Vani doesn't actually really fit who I am. She hasn't for a while. Love her to absolute bits and back, but she's not... Me. And I'm not her.

For a decent while I've been pondering what to do, how to go about it, and all that. A lot of it goes along in parallel with figuring out who and what I am IRL, too. My identity has been in flux, and so without knowing who I am, I couldn't really have a good representation of who I am, either.

I think I've gotten to the point where I understand who I am a bit better. I don't think it's a process that'll ever particularly end, but I'm getting there.

And along with that, I've been able to get together my thoughts on who I want my sona to be, too.

It's still very unclear, and I'm not amazingly close to an answer. But it's at least become 100% sure that Vani isn't who represents me. That, I know for certain. And changing Vani to be something else is pretty much tantamount to changing Mario to be blue because it fits better. Vani has her own identity, so to speak, and it feels completely wrong to change that.


So... I'll be trying on some new looks. Some new feelings. Seeing what feels right, what doesn't. It'll take time! Even on top of how long it's taken to get here.



It's a scary change to me, too. I've really only been Vani for most of my time in this community. Changing that is a big deal for me. It's very, very new. So bear with me!


And, to be clear: don't worry, Vani herself isn't going anywhere. She is still an absolutely beloved character of mine. She'll still have art, text, and all the rest! She's just not going to be my sona -- who I present as -- anymore, coming up.



So stick around! There's gonna be new stuff abound. I hope you can get as much into it as I hope I can.

See you around!




PS:

I think, one important change I want to go for...

They/them, please.


Thank you for reading. <3