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Depressed
a year ago
Hiya! Thanks for reading this journal!
I am not going to sugarcoat it. I'm in a state of major depression. (I’ve been diagnosed by a doctor)
I was very hesitant about posting this update, because I was afraid of expressing my depression as an artist but it is an important life update.
For a while now, I’ve been struggling with it for a long time. Years even. About from a year ago my depression would come and go and thought it would go away with selfcare and time. For a while it helped me thinking I defeated it once and for all. Sadly, it came back a few months ago and it slowly progressed worse for my mental health. It did not help with my day job cutting my hours and with my financial troubles crawling back due paying off debt from my final year paying tuition for college and the mishap at TFF 24 with two roommates that bailed on me at the last mintine, paying most of the hotel room.
Just right now, I'm working on commissions as much as I can, but rest assured, I WILL finish them. For a few clients who put a deadline, I will finish by the deadline. I may be depressed, I still have work to finish.
I am finally getting the proper help I need since I have insurance now. Within next week I’ll get professional help,now with this getting out of hand, this is the best choice of action. Only friends and family can do so much. I do apologize for anyone caught up with me being vague with what's going on with me. Because in the past, I have posted about stuff that could’ve been fixed by taking it easy and logging off from social media.
However, this problem has grown out of control. Leading me to affect my work life, feeling I am not worthy with friends, slowly losing my passion for art, gaining weight, and slowly losing my will to live.
I just want to be back to my normal self: Not seeing myself as a failure, being happy to draw and create whatever I doodle, and I just want to be happy.
Thank you all for reading.
I was very hesitant about posting this update, because I was afraid of expressing my depression as an artist but it is an important life update.
For a while now, I’ve been struggling with it for a long time. Years even. About from a year ago my depression would come and go and thought it would go away with selfcare and time. For a while it helped me thinking I defeated it once and for all. Sadly, it came back a few months ago and it slowly progressed worse for my mental health. It did not help with my day job cutting my hours and with my financial troubles crawling back due paying off debt from my final year paying tuition for college and the mishap at TFF 24 with two roommates that bailed on me at the last mintine, paying most of the hotel room.
Just right now, I'm working on commissions as much as I can, but rest assured, I WILL finish them. For a few clients who put a deadline, I will finish by the deadline. I may be depressed, I still have work to finish.
I am finally getting the proper help I need since I have insurance now. Within next week I’ll get professional help,now with this getting out of hand, this is the best choice of action. Only friends and family can do so much. I do apologize for anyone caught up with me being vague with what's going on with me. Because in the past, I have posted about stuff that could’ve been fixed by taking it easy and logging off from social media.
However, this problem has grown out of control. Leading me to affect my work life, feeling I am not worthy with friends, slowly losing my passion for art, gaining weight, and slowly losing my will to live.
I just want to be back to my normal self: Not seeing myself as a failure, being happy to draw and create whatever I doodle, and I just want to be happy.
Thank you all for reading.
I saw your art vendors post and to me. It a bucket list goal and impressive. The thing is try color line arts or paint practice for fun.
I used to thought i was a failure for not finish in college and realize life isn’t a race.
Remember, Jesus loves you!
I'm glad you're able to go forward and get the help you need, because you deserve to be happy.