they feel VERY directed.. because they know people wont actually leave

If it brings any comfort, there was a bunch of unclear statements made in a rush to answer questions on the discord that have been clarified on the Discord as having been unclear. There's also a lot of those statements floating around social media without context causing more confusion.

It's very clear that what actually matters is what kinks the admins consider "gross" and not much else.

That's not really the case. There's a whole conversation going on around this on the discord.

They're really trying to make it clear certain subcommunities of the Fandom aren't welcome while pretending they're being welcoming. Utterly disgusting.