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A Thought About An Ambition
a year ago
I've always had this dream that someday I'd create something that was beloved by many, and would be liked for its own merits while I remain mostly obscure.
I get that people see what I create and that could make someone want to get to know me. But honestly, I'm a shitty person and a crappy friend. I don't socialize very well, and I don't have a very good opinion of myself. I don't like being the focus. I don't like being the center of attention. If I could make something truly anonymously, and people liked it and never knew who made it, I'd be so pleased.
I'd almost like to reduce my activity online. But then I have the problem of not being able to devote time to creating things to compensate and fulfill my desired status. A full time management job, home responsibilities, and needing a lot more sleep than I'm getting. All that gets in the way.
I get that people see what I create and that could make someone want to get to know me. But honestly, I'm a shitty person and a crappy friend. I don't socialize very well, and I don't have a very good opinion of myself. I don't like being the focus. I don't like being the center of attention. If I could make something truly anonymously, and people liked it and never knew who made it, I'd be so pleased.
I'd almost like to reduce my activity online. But then I have the problem of not being able to devote time to creating things to compensate and fulfill my desired status. A full time management job, home responsibilities, and needing a lot more sleep than I'm getting. All that gets in the way.
That said, I think it's important to cut oneself some slack. There's no rush, do the thing if you feel like it, let it rest if not. Let it be a joy, not an obligation.