I'm the same way, the stuff I enjoy is so far removed from reality that I often wonder the same. Like what the hell is wrong with me?

The short answer, at least in my case, is just that I have a porn addiction. And like other addictions, it slowly gets more and more extreme the longer you feed into it.

I used to be into normal furry stuff, but slowly it started to lose it's appeal and weird kinky fetishes were new and exciting. And then slowly those fetishes started to feel tame too. And it just kept devolving until now even the extreme kinky stuff is barely working for me.

I think one thing that could help is to try and battle the addiction - assuming you might have the same - and just try and remove yourself from it. Take a tolerance break.

I've tried to do that myself but in my case it's just that the stuff I'm into is so rooted into my social life / friends that taking a break from it would be to completely just put my social life on pause. But maybe it's different for you.

But either way, don't feel too bad about liking what you like. The thought of being normal sounds great until you realize that actually being normal would probably be boring and dull, and you'd be wishing to be interesting and exciting.

Best of luck!

Fortunately for me, things have been somewhat constant, and never fell into the trap of wanting to go more and more crazy with them.

But thank you still, hoping things can settle down, and can make terms with all of that.

i'm sure you're not a freak, i understand the feeling oh worrying or thinking what people will think about you liking something so specific and that no one else likes but you should take it slowly and make terms with it since it is a part of yourself and is nothing bad about it, the slowly you open up more bits about it the more confident you will feel to open up more and more with time!

I know I'm late with the answer, and didn't think someone as accomplished as you would respond to this.
I want to open up more, but I don't even know how to even begin. Will have to try somehow, though irl limitations and people around me don't really make it any easier.
But thank you for the support. Again, I didn't expect anyone to bother with it to begin with.

No, unless it's something truly heinous, it doesn't make you a bad person for liking what you like.

I will say for myself that once I started being public on the internet about who I truly am and the quirky things I'm into, life started being so much more fun than trying to hide it.

Been thinking about trying drawing, though I barely have the patience and discipline. The fact, that if I try drawing I have to keep it a secret in the household, as to avoid unwanted and uncomfortable questions also puts up a large barrier for me. Sometimes I wonder if I grew up and currently was in a different circumstance, would I have been able to become an artist who could truly express himself without caring possible backlashes?

Will most likely never know the answer, but I do still appreciate you taking your time to give me a response and reduce the amount of anxiety for me.

Also, my apologies for taking several days to answer.