I just feel like I've done nothing but regress in all ways over time. Everything just feels like I'm getting worse and worse in every aspect. It's hard to write a single paragraph; two years ago I banged out a story every week. It's hard to engage with friends, people I've known for years, even if nothing bad had happened. I used to do DnD 4 times a week with people I barely knew, now I'm puking over stress doing it with people I've known half a year. I used to be able to aim in games and get consistent headshots, but now I'm lucky if I can hit a target more than short range.

I thought I've grown a lot. I thought I've been progressing and actually making progress. I just feel so... discouraged. And this isn't an out of nowhere feeling, this is something that's happened all year long. More typos, more misspeaking, more misunderstandings, more just... consistent failures. And this on top of a year of bullshit being thrown at me like it's a 20 to 1 dodgeball game, it's been disorientating to feel everything deteriorating around me like a falling building.

But hey. It's November 11th, 11/11. Lets make a wish to improve, even just a little. Even just decreasing a negative is still a positive. Maybe someday I'll be better. Maybe we can make it through this bitch of a year with a halfhearted smile at least.