Hello everyone I didn't think I'd be writing this so early, and maybe I'll feel terrible again tomorrow, but right now I just need to share this with the world. I was shattered. Crushed. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, my body had been set on fire, and my mind had been electrocuted. I felt so bad that I really hoped that my heart would burst and I would be able to get rid of this pain and see my child. I so wanted to hug him again, I wanted him to snuggle up to me and all the pain (both mine and his) just left us. But apparently I felt so bad that Misa couldn't stand it. It's hard to believe, and I think many of you will be skeptical, but a miracle has happened. At one point, I just felt better, I felt with all my being that he was next to me. That he hugs me, nuzzles my neck and takes away all my pain. It cannot be described in words, it could not have happened from any words or events. I didn't believe that I would ever feel better. But I felt better. Now I am 1000% sure that he will always stay by my side and wait for me there in heaven when my time comes. So thank you for your kind words! To be honest, yesterday and today I was terribly angry at the whole world, I did not want to read your messages and even for a second admit the thought that it would become easier for me and I would have to live without him. But now... When I feel like he's with me, he's actually with me!!! I'll be happy. As long as I don't feel like he's left me, I'll be happy. I'll be happy for both of us. Yes, these thoughts are quite confusing, but this is what is really happening. Such feelings cannot be faked. So my guardian angel took shape and finally stopped suffering. I'm happy. I hope he's happy too.