Just make sure you will be okay. Those that say "Pets aren't family" most likely never understood a loving pet or had properly cared for one. To me, a pet is part of the family and you grieve the loss very similar to a loved one.

I've raised him since he was a month old, but almost no one can understand how much love I've put into him. Perhaps this depreciation is making me feel worse, although I really understand that sooner or later I will have to pull myself together. But it's especially difficult to do this in the fall, when everything reminds you of that case.

I understand the pain too well. Pets are family. Those that don't understand don't know the loss of losing a pet is much like losing a close-relative.

Take all the time you need but try to take care of yourself, and feel free to vent as needed.

The loss of a pet is something I struggle to deal with as well, I'm still mourning the loss of my cat from years ago. Take all the time you need to rest and take care of yourself ♥

Anyone who claims that the grieving process is linear, doesn't know jack about it. Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but, it's only been a year since Misa passed, right? That first year is ALWAYS the worst. I've had to say "goodbye" to 4 dogs in my lifetime, as well as some loved relatives like my grandparents. In fact, Nov 10th was the anniversary of my dad's passing, 14 years now... This year, it's hitting me a bit harder than in previous years. Maybe because IRL has been giving me more problems/traumas than usual? I don't know...

My point is, grief is like driving down a country dirt road. Sometimes it's smooth and not too bad, but then, BUMP, pothole, or rough patches. If it's rained, you might get stuck or mired in the mud for a bit until either things dry up naturally and you can get unstuck, or someone happens along to offer some assistance in getting unstuck.

To me, it sounds like you're good-and-STUCK in the mud. Sounds like a Major depression to me. Been there, no fun at all.

If your shrink doesn't understand how to help you, then perhaps you need to find a new one? Also, I know you don't want to worry your mom. But, at least I think you should talk with her about how you're actually doing. Maybe not to the depths of things all at once, but.. indicate that you're having some trouble because of Misa's passing still. Maybe having someone who knows and loves you to talk it out with will help wit your grieving process?

It's good you're at least reaching out to friends and watchers here. A good sign indeed. It'd be a BIG worry if you didn't. Because, people who suffer on their own, and never look outward for help when they need it, become a concern for doing something.. "drastic". And nobody wants you to do anything drastic! The thing about that is, people don't give themselves enough time before attempting it, to realize that as long as they are alive, there's the possibility and chance of things improving.

It's weird that you feel bad for "no reason". I'm guessing there's a bunch of underlying stuff that's dragging you down. Hidden, even from you. That's always the most annoying to try and figure out. I would suggest trying some meditation and seeing if you can't figure out what's going on to make you so miserable. Like the Gordian Knot, only instead of "solving" it like Alexander the Great did, by cutting it, you should try to unravel it string by string. Like a bunch of tangled Christmas lights. Those are always a pain to try to untangle, but satisfying once finished and they are hung up.

I hope what I'm saying is clear. I've been through a lot of crap myself, and I'm trying to put experience into words, with a couple metaphors, that I hope will help you come up with new or different approaches to figuring out your pain. My hope is that once you figure some, more, or all of it out, that you'll be able to start working on getting through and over the pain. So that YOU are in charge again of your life, and not the pain.

Stay strong, I'm rooting for you!

you dont need a reason to feel bad 💕
this is a difficult world, and you are doing great every day 🙏🥰