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Thank you all
10 months ago
I just wanted to post a thank you to everyone who responded to my inquiry about the IT job thing. It's given me a lot to consider, and to keep in mind. I even copied all of this, to my journal to keep, and printed it too. (I trust digital like I trust the government. :( )
It's freed my mind, even if today I got a bit of a dream fragment, that also alerted me. (transcript here)
Kantuck Atsilawesa: I had a dream that kind of was a 'wake up call' (literally this time, it came at 3:45a :(. But in it, it was brief.) I was in another retail store, and I remember thinking or saying that it looked similar to my Goodwill. Ashley was there, the carts had yellow handles, not blue so it wasn't GW and I think it was a Dollar General. -- anyway. I got a cell call and read it was something. But I knew it was my school, so I took the call and the lady was talking, and said "I'm sorry, but you don't qualify for something, something..." I asked, "So you're saying I can't do this? I can't advance?" there was no answer, no nothing for a moment, and I just hung up. it sort of collapsed around my head then, thinking this is my future. nothing. stuck in retail for life, with no advancement.
I come to analyze it some, and I'm sure it's anxieties coming though, I seem to remember too I had some sort of trigger from early today/yesterday. Oh yeah. now that my Asus (EEE, 2006) has died, and of course, all the other electronics stopped working, I was reminded of my age. I had the computer since 2006. I've used it for everything, and there is no real alternative. Everything is 'bigger', thinner, and of course, piss poorly made in terms of keyboards, AND the costs -- ouch.
I see it as a warning too. Don't get complacent. I have to keep studying, learning, and kissing ass. I'm too old, and still not out of the woods yet. But am I also missing something? Is there a ticking time bomb in my future that I forgot to fix?
--
That time bomb is the biggest worry. What if I have to be vetted? Will they dig up something 20 years ago that will blow up in my face? Or even recently, like all my fur stuff?
I have time, probably a year, but still. I have to keep looking over my shoulder, at the preditor after my tail. :(
It's freed my mind, even if today I got a bit of a dream fragment, that also alerted me. (transcript here)
Kantuck Atsilawesa: I had a dream that kind of was a 'wake up call' (literally this time, it came at 3:45a :(. But in it, it was brief.) I was in another retail store, and I remember thinking or saying that it looked similar to my Goodwill. Ashley was there, the carts had yellow handles, not blue so it wasn't GW and I think it was a Dollar General. -- anyway. I got a cell call and read it was something. But I knew it was my school, so I took the call and the lady was talking, and said "I'm sorry, but you don't qualify for something, something..." I asked, "So you're saying I can't do this? I can't advance?" there was no answer, no nothing for a moment, and I just hung up. it sort of collapsed around my head then, thinking this is my future. nothing. stuck in retail for life, with no advancement.
I come to analyze it some, and I'm sure it's anxieties coming though, I seem to remember too I had some sort of trigger from early today/yesterday. Oh yeah. now that my Asus (EEE, 2006) has died, and of course, all the other electronics stopped working, I was reminded of my age. I had the computer since 2006. I've used it for everything, and there is no real alternative. Everything is 'bigger', thinner, and of course, piss poorly made in terms of keyboards, AND the costs -- ouch.
I see it as a warning too. Don't get complacent. I have to keep studying, learning, and kissing ass. I'm too old, and still not out of the woods yet. But am I also missing something? Is there a ticking time bomb in my future that I forgot to fix?
--
That time bomb is the biggest worry. What if I have to be vetted? Will they dig up something 20 years ago that will blow up in my face? Or even recently, like all my fur stuff?
I have time, probably a year, but still. I have to keep looking over my shoulder, at the preditor after my tail. :(
Few would care about your fur stuff.
Vix
Best of luck in your pursuits.
Is the dream encouraging you to look for a better retail job? The next several years will be challenging for those in lower income brackets. Perhaps your mind is steering you away from future trouble.