Christmas.

*sigh*

So weird without that who were mine.

I have been singing christmas-songs, driving around everywhere, seen my sisters and bro, wrapping gifts, baking and trying to be much happy I can be.

Still, I don't know, why I am celebrating christmas this year.
Before this I have been happyhappy-joyjoy all years, but now..
Like, I'm just waiting to get back Tampere to my home, and waiting for regular weeks at theather and people over there. Waking up mornings, feeding my cats, watching Friends at 8 pm everynight.

There is too much people around me, to who I need to pretend something Im not.
Too much eyes watching over me.
When I'm home all alone, I don't need to think, if I'm doing something wrong right now. What others are thinking of me.

And birthday.. My gosh I'm afraiding that. I don't want people to remember me, 'cause I have so much bad memories of birthdays. I don't deserve anything fron anyone.
I think I just lock myself to home, put my phone and computer down and get drunk.
Yea, that sounds like a plan.

Well, however, merry christmas to all who can enjoy it fully. Take my piece of this party too. o/