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Heroes, Eletism, ETC
16 years ago
General
I have to say the last few months have presented themselves with their own set of challenges. A new flavor, seasonings etc. Really quite a few disappointments.
Everyone is human. This is something I've had to learn on many levels and possibly multitudes of times. A few personal heroes of mine have turned out to be disappointments. Simple as that. I don't mean people who've given up on life etc. I mean people who just like the idea of being better than everyone else. A sense of eletism.
What hurts the most, I feel, is not that unintentional offensiveness, but when they go out of their way to make sure you know you're not welcome in their world without outright saying anything but with body gestures and various social awkwardness ( avoiding eye contact, turning to talk to everyone else but you, going out of their way to avoid you).. but then thinking you're too stupid to understand it. Had something come to a hilt recently regarding an issue like this.
Something like this hits you to the core. Especially when it's someone you admire. Having something like this happen multiple times with different people in different forms. Constantly made me wonder what makes me less as a human being?
Then I realized what kind of people I do have in my life... so my next question was... how do douche bags like these get this skilled or in such a high position being this much of a jerk? The experiences and personal blows that occured make being a douche bag like these guys a very very tempting path. As if you could get back at them somehow by giving it right back.
The harder decision was to take it.. and just simply smile.. and move forward. That seemed like the harder one.. but because of that, it also seemed like the right one. I CAN'T look down on people... at all. We all live under the same sky and breath the same air.
Out of some sort of attempt to preserve my mental health and the hope of an above and beyond professional career I withhold talking about every single story and instance that happens to me. No matter who it is, I try to keep the situation between me and the person. Professional discretion as well as personal discretion is just important. It's not everyone elses business. But I've asked myself before why it is, while I sit and suffer and take every single peer down from some of these people. Every look of "I'm better than you." I return with an awkward glance curious as to what I did wrong. But.. I didn't
It is the bane of Eletism and it exists in every facet of life. And somehow.. for whatever reason it exists here. In the furry fandom. I'm sorry.. this is the last place to say you are better than everyone else.
There are those who simply aknowlege only those who they deem to have a skill equal to or greater than their own. (Regardless or not if they actually possess both the drive, and the skill to back it up)
There are also those who join simply so they can look down on the fandom. Every fandom and walk of life has it's freaks and lowlifes... but.. if you aren't enjoying the party.. then why stay? if there are more pros than cons then clearly it's not as bad as you say it is.
To close-
No one is better than anyone else and don't even consider giving into the idea of inequality. There are those more skilled than others in every facet and fashion, but that doesn't make a person better than you. Don't be afraid to have heroes. Though take the time to find that inspiration you got from them inside you. If you let that inspiration show, then it had always been there to begin with.
Okay.. a bit of a ramble but I had something on my mind.
Everyone is human. This is something I've had to learn on many levels and possibly multitudes of times. A few personal heroes of mine have turned out to be disappointments. Simple as that. I don't mean people who've given up on life etc. I mean people who just like the idea of being better than everyone else. A sense of eletism.
What hurts the most, I feel, is not that unintentional offensiveness, but when they go out of their way to make sure you know you're not welcome in their world without outright saying anything but with body gestures and various social awkwardness ( avoiding eye contact, turning to talk to everyone else but you, going out of their way to avoid you).. but then thinking you're too stupid to understand it. Had something come to a hilt recently regarding an issue like this.
Something like this hits you to the core. Especially when it's someone you admire. Having something like this happen multiple times with different people in different forms. Constantly made me wonder what makes me less as a human being?
Then I realized what kind of people I do have in my life... so my next question was... how do douche bags like these get this skilled or in such a high position being this much of a jerk? The experiences and personal blows that occured make being a douche bag like these guys a very very tempting path. As if you could get back at them somehow by giving it right back.
The harder decision was to take it.. and just simply smile.. and move forward. That seemed like the harder one.. but because of that, it also seemed like the right one. I CAN'T look down on people... at all. We all live under the same sky and breath the same air.
Out of some sort of attempt to preserve my mental health and the hope of an above and beyond professional career I withhold talking about every single story and instance that happens to me. No matter who it is, I try to keep the situation between me and the person. Professional discretion as well as personal discretion is just important. It's not everyone elses business. But I've asked myself before why it is, while I sit and suffer and take every single peer down from some of these people. Every look of "I'm better than you." I return with an awkward glance curious as to what I did wrong. But.. I didn't
It is the bane of Eletism and it exists in every facet of life. And somehow.. for whatever reason it exists here. In the furry fandom. I'm sorry.. this is the last place to say you are better than everyone else.
There are those who simply aknowlege only those who they deem to have a skill equal to or greater than their own. (Regardless or not if they actually possess both the drive, and the skill to back it up)
There are also those who join simply so they can look down on the fandom. Every fandom and walk of life has it's freaks and lowlifes... but.. if you aren't enjoying the party.. then why stay? if there are more pros than cons then clearly it's not as bad as you say it is.
To close-
No one is better than anyone else and don't even consider giving into the idea of inequality. There are those more skilled than others in every facet and fashion, but that doesn't make a person better than you. Don't be afraid to have heroes. Though take the time to find that inspiration you got from them inside you. If you let that inspiration show, then it had always been there to begin with.
Okay.. a bit of a ramble but I had something on my mind.
How about some Green tea?
I ask this myself constantly, and I've yet to find an answer to it.
;D
;D
Pretty much...
What I've noticed is... having been accused of being arrogant and elitist myself... is there are people who's confidence and happiness is self generated, and people who's happiness and confidence emerges from other people accepting or inviting them into their lives. People who are independently confident and happy don't understand why someone feels snubbed or "less" based on the "cues" from someone else, and so they don't offer behaviors to try to validate people who seek out approval or "belonging" with them. They don't perceive how someone's happiness or sense of belonging is up to them to prop up, since their own sense of happiness and belonging isn't propped up by others. It's often no more complicated than that, and isn't tied to any active snub or an intent to exclude.
You should ultimately seek to improve your life and live as well as you can for the sake of yourself, become accomplished and enjoy living for you, and don't worry about the acceptance of anyone else. When a sense of pride and belonging are self-generated, everything else just naturally falls into place, and you can disregard any weird pangs and feelings about certain people not accepting you, or joking around with you if that's their choice. You can feel this way, because you realize you don't need them to be happy.
People who share things in common, who entertain you or who have conversations you find mutually interesting, will naturally fall into place. Friendships can't be forced or obliged.
I mean I totally understand having just a limited group of people close to you. I'm the same way. I have many many many friendly acquaintances a bunch of buds, but really 3 close friends I completely open up to. It's not because of them being better than anyone or anything like that. I've had 2 of them as friends well over 12 years and the other one it just clicked that way.
I'm not demanding a friendship from someone I barely know. I just liked being spoken to eye to eye. The kind of friendship I referred to earlier takes time and a good bit of it. I just don't like being looked at as if, "Noises are coming out of his food hole... should I... should I talk to it?"
I hope that makes a bit more sense than me just going "WAAAH WE MET ONCE AND WE'RE NOT BEST FRIENDS!? I HATE THEM!"
And don't give in to thoughts about how we're all the same slabs of meat, or whatever Fight Club nihilism philosophy threatens to take root in your mind... some people are better than others. I hope you're trying to be better than people you don't want to be like, for instance. Embrace excellence, don't dumb it down and dismiss it just because someone wasn't nice to you.
Let me stress first, from the moment upon meeting this particular person, becomming their friend was not my aim. Simply what was said and what was done went above and beyond the usual dickery. This particular instance encoupled with 2 others which had been picked at rather feverishly the night before got me on my more dark and irritated side. So understand my idea of friendship is that it comes along with the territory of simply talking more or more experiences with people. Not by deciding "I'M GOING TO BE THEIR FRIEND" If you are going to be friends with a person, you'll act on that.
That aside, no don't worry, I don't give into Nietzsche in a can. Fight Club philosophy worked in Fight Club world, not in reality world where I currently reside.
I believe what you're bringing up is similar to what
I don't really know what's been going on that this addresses specifically, I'm sorry that you've had a rough time with some folks. I did want to say though, on the subject of social awkwardness, that is something I am stellar at. I'm really sorry I've been more than a bit distant this last year and I'm really hoping that things even out over the next few months here and I really hope we can do some catching up. =)
After all why excel if there isn't a greater benefit from it even if that benefit is knowing you kick ass among those who kick ass or not being bothered by the district manager so much? After all, if you excel at what you do and you still get treated ridden on by your boss why would you want to excel?
Elitism isn't the problem. There are a lot of things that happen and sometimes it's honestly just that the person is simply a jerk. Sometimes the person is entirely to driven and if you're not a part of the plan. Sometimes the person is to lazy or takes on an especially narrow view of things.
The point is there are a lot of reasons for unbecoming human behavior. Simply being proud to be a part of an elite group or expecting favor for it (elitism as it were) isn't necessarily the problem.
I just don't like jerks!