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The End of the Semester. Forlorn Future...
a year ago
General
Hello everyone. JC here.
I just finished my first semester back at school, and honestly, I believe a good job. Got A's in all my classes, which is pretty good considering how much I was busting my butt in getting these grades. Two of my classes, Psychology and Logic, I thought I would end up with a B, but I guess it helps to turn in assignments on time and do the exam study guides.
One thing I will say, though, is that I'm happy to be done with the semester, as well as happy to have gotten the grades that I received. I'm content with my academic progress, and I have high hopes for when I return to school in the beginning of February. I'll be taking Fiction Writing and Novel Writing as my next courses, and Goodness knows I could use help with my storytelling and with that bloody novel project that I've been working on for the better part of two and a half years.
But today, I don't feel so comforted. Today, I feel forlorn, and it is a feeling I've been feeling for the better part of a week. I just... feel uncertain about my future, even though I know what is coming and what I should expect to happen. I'll be going on vacation soon, I'll be taking the classes in college that I've been waiting patiently so long to take, and I'm even getting back to work writing commissions again.
And yet, for some reason, I can't seem to get my mind to feel comfort. Right now, I struggle to get back into writing, especially with some commissions that I just recently received. I'm struggling to write some personal stories of mine - and goodness knows how behind I am with "Pokephilia Story", which I've left on the back burner due to my academics.
After so long being away from my personal stories and works, I just can't bring myself to enjoy writing right now. And that's bothering me. I'm struggling to put my hands on the keyboard to write my stories and poems. And I'm struggling to find some meaning in my life again, even though I already know what the meaning of my life is. Is it depression that is bothering me? Is it some dissatisfaction with my writing or with something personal? Or is the answer something else that is obvious, and yet still I can't see it?
I don't want to rant or keep complaining. I'm not that kind of person anymore, where I would constantly talk about my mental health struggles for the sake of seeking pity, validation, or even comfort. I just... I don't know why I feel so dissatisfied and forlorn right now. I want to find my drive again, to get to work with stories and poems like I did before. I want to spend hours on my laptop again, and not just because I'm playing video games again.
However, I will say this:
~I'm thinking about creating an extended arc for Pokephilia Story. I plan on writing a main series, featured around the Team Shroud arc, and sort of act act as a conclusion to the series. I know this sounds like Pokephilia Story is coming to an end, but don't worry. I'm still a long way away from doing this, and it may not happen until late 2025. I just want to let you guys know that I will create a climactic story arc that will take over a year to write. Think of this sort of like a novel, or an episode from a TV show, where every so often I post the latest story or episode in the series. But that'll be for later. For now, Pokephilia Story will carry on as usual. So, I hope you guys will keep enjoying my work.
~Writing commissions will soon be open. In fact, I already am working on two. BUT I'm not taking any extra right now. I just feel like I can barely focus on the ones I have right now, not to mention with the personal projects I already have. But once I recover my writing drive and am able to get back to work, I will open commissions again.
In the end, though, I'm just tired. This semester at school has been a lot of work, and I am still a bit exhausted from all that I had to do. But I am happy nonetheless over my success and my grades. I just hope that I can keep it up for the next semester, which I'm certain I'm going to enjoy very well. And yet, though the future looks bright, I still feel forlorn and discontent right now. It's something I need to work on, to work on myself, and to get better.
I won't ramble too much anymore. I just want you guys to know that I'll be getting back to work on personal stories, poems, and commission work again now that college is done. Just give me a few days to sort out the quasi-depression that I'm feeling right now. I need time, and I need to find myself again.
I just hope that I can continue doing the things that I love. And I hope that you all get to enjoy the work that I create.
Here's hoping for a brighter future.
And for those of you who celebrate the season's greetings, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Sincerely,
J.C. Solis
I just finished my first semester back at school, and honestly, I believe a good job. Got A's in all my classes, which is pretty good considering how much I was busting my butt in getting these grades. Two of my classes, Psychology and Logic, I thought I would end up with a B, but I guess it helps to turn in assignments on time and do the exam study guides.
One thing I will say, though, is that I'm happy to be done with the semester, as well as happy to have gotten the grades that I received. I'm content with my academic progress, and I have high hopes for when I return to school in the beginning of February. I'll be taking Fiction Writing and Novel Writing as my next courses, and Goodness knows I could use help with my storytelling and with that bloody novel project that I've been working on for the better part of two and a half years.
But today, I don't feel so comforted. Today, I feel forlorn, and it is a feeling I've been feeling for the better part of a week. I just... feel uncertain about my future, even though I know what is coming and what I should expect to happen. I'll be going on vacation soon, I'll be taking the classes in college that I've been waiting patiently so long to take, and I'm even getting back to work writing commissions again.
And yet, for some reason, I can't seem to get my mind to feel comfort. Right now, I struggle to get back into writing, especially with some commissions that I just recently received. I'm struggling to write some personal stories of mine - and goodness knows how behind I am with "Pokephilia Story", which I've left on the back burner due to my academics.
After so long being away from my personal stories and works, I just can't bring myself to enjoy writing right now. And that's bothering me. I'm struggling to put my hands on the keyboard to write my stories and poems. And I'm struggling to find some meaning in my life again, even though I already know what the meaning of my life is. Is it depression that is bothering me? Is it some dissatisfaction with my writing or with something personal? Or is the answer something else that is obvious, and yet still I can't see it?
I don't want to rant or keep complaining. I'm not that kind of person anymore, where I would constantly talk about my mental health struggles for the sake of seeking pity, validation, or even comfort. I just... I don't know why I feel so dissatisfied and forlorn right now. I want to find my drive again, to get to work with stories and poems like I did before. I want to spend hours on my laptop again, and not just because I'm playing video games again.
However, I will say this:
~I'm thinking about creating an extended arc for Pokephilia Story. I plan on writing a main series, featured around the Team Shroud arc, and sort of act act as a conclusion to the series. I know this sounds like Pokephilia Story is coming to an end, but don't worry. I'm still a long way away from doing this, and it may not happen until late 2025. I just want to let you guys know that I will create a climactic story arc that will take over a year to write. Think of this sort of like a novel, or an episode from a TV show, where every so often I post the latest story or episode in the series. But that'll be for later. For now, Pokephilia Story will carry on as usual. So, I hope you guys will keep enjoying my work.
~Writing commissions will soon be open. In fact, I already am working on two. BUT I'm not taking any extra right now. I just feel like I can barely focus on the ones I have right now, not to mention with the personal projects I already have. But once I recover my writing drive and am able to get back to work, I will open commissions again.
In the end, though, I'm just tired. This semester at school has been a lot of work, and I am still a bit exhausted from all that I had to do. But I am happy nonetheless over my success and my grades. I just hope that I can keep it up for the next semester, which I'm certain I'm going to enjoy very well. And yet, though the future looks bright, I still feel forlorn and discontent right now. It's something I need to work on, to work on myself, and to get better.
I won't ramble too much anymore. I just want you guys to know that I'll be getting back to work on personal stories, poems, and commission work again now that college is done. Just give me a few days to sort out the quasi-depression that I'm feeling right now. I need time, and I need to find myself again.
I just hope that I can continue doing the things that I love. And I hope that you all get to enjoy the work that I create.
Here's hoping for a brighter future.
And for those of you who celebrate the season's greetings, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Sincerely,
J.C. Solis
