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HAPPY NEW YEAR! :3
8 months ago
Hi fluffs. :3
A few months ago, I promised you here that after a long hiatus I would be more active, and draw more cool stuff. Unfortunately, I struggled too much with chronic fatigue and other problems to keep that promise to this day. ^^'
And sadly, I'm afraid things are not going to get better in the nearest future. Yesterday, I lost one of my closest friends. A fur I've absolutely never thought that I'd ever lose. We had very good contact for a long time, understood each other perfectly, supported each other whenever we had some problems.
We planned to meet at New Year's Eve amd spend this time together. Talked about it since the summer. Agreed that if plans change, we'll inform each other earlier. Even back in October I knew our plan is still here and we will have fun together.
A week ago he decided to cancel our plans and said he doesn't want me to come over anymore. I tried to explain some things as I believed some misunderstanding happened and convince him we can still have fun as planned, but it didn't help.
And yesterday, when I told him there's still some narrow window of time to change mind and chill together, he decided to outright block me and cut all contact. :/
I'm in a very bad state mentally now. I feel like if even the closest friends start running away from me, if I hurt people THAT much even though I never wanted, it means I'm just really useless and I don't deserve anyone. or anything. :/ I'm afraid my life is slowly losing its purpose because life without friends doesn't make sense. And I feel like everything is falling apart, and slowly heading to an end.
So I'm really not in the mood right now to draw, or to do anything honestly. I'm not sure when, or if, I'll be in that mood back. I'm so sorry.
But I still hope you have an amazing time at your New Year's parties, fluffies ^.^ And I wish you all a very Happy New Year! :3
I hope at least your new year will be happy. Then I'll be even happier, knowing you're doing good.
*hugs you all*
A few months ago, I promised you here that after a long hiatus I would be more active, and draw more cool stuff. Unfortunately, I struggled too much with chronic fatigue and other problems to keep that promise to this day. ^^'
And sadly, I'm afraid things are not going to get better in the nearest future. Yesterday, I lost one of my closest friends. A fur I've absolutely never thought that I'd ever lose. We had very good contact for a long time, understood each other perfectly, supported each other whenever we had some problems.
We planned to meet at New Year's Eve amd spend this time together. Talked about it since the summer. Agreed that if plans change, we'll inform each other earlier. Even back in October I knew our plan is still here and we will have fun together.
A week ago he decided to cancel our plans and said he doesn't want me to come over anymore. I tried to explain some things as I believed some misunderstanding happened and convince him we can still have fun as planned, but it didn't help.
And yesterday, when I told him there's still some narrow window of time to change mind and chill together, he decided to outright block me and cut all contact. :/
I'm in a very bad state mentally now. I feel like if even the closest friends start running away from me, if I hurt people THAT much even though I never wanted, it means I'm just really useless and I don't deserve anyone. or anything. :/ I'm afraid my life is slowly losing its purpose because life without friends doesn't make sense. And I feel like everything is falling apart, and slowly heading to an end.
So I'm really not in the mood right now to draw, or to do anything honestly. I'm not sure when, or if, I'll be in that mood back. I'm so sorry.
But I still hope you have an amazing time at your New Year's parties, fluffies ^.^ And I wish you all a very Happy New Year! :3
I hope at least your new year will be happy. Then I'll be even happier, knowing you're doing good.
*hugs you all*
I hope 2025 is better for all of us who are traumatized or going through something like losing a friend.
I hope 2025 will be better for you. For me, I doubt there's any hope left. I was saying exactly the same what you said at last New Year's Eve, I had so much hope and motivation and strength in me, I KNEW 2024 would be better, and it turned out to be the worst :/ Everything fell apart.
I even wanted to do at least one little thing right as planned in 2024 and register the domain for my website yesterday, but I hesitated for too long, I hurried up yesterday at the end of the day but didn't make it, the midnight came and it was 2025 already :/
If I couldn't do anything even the simplest short task, the entire year, the year when I had most motivation and hope since quite a long time, then I think I cannot do it at all... And not only that, I also started to lose my dearest friends though I already had very few of them. :(
I doubt anything good can still happen in my life anymore. I'm sorry :/