Sometimes I feel like doing these kinds of journals is redundant. Looking back, it often feels like there's just not a whole lot going on in my life that's really interesting to talk about. I mean, what -actually- happened between now and my last update? I finished up another semester with a shiny A+ in all of my classes and will be starting my next, and final, semester for my bachelor's degree on the 11th of this month. I find myself beholden to a phenomenon, however, where I don't really feel pride for getting such high grades anymore; I'm a good study and am quite good at note taking, so "excellent grades" stop feeling like something worthy of praise and celebration and are just the norm. Of course, this also means that anything less than my near-perfection is failure in my eyes. I'm...keenly aware that this is not a healthy mentality, but it's hard to avoid such thoughts from invading my head whenever I put time and effort into things such as schoolwork and art. I feel that this may also be why I stopped writing: I got to the point where I was so unsatisfied with my work that it was easier just to give up and pursue something else rather than work harder at it, and also simply not post things if they felt off in any way.

Rough psychoanalysis aside, I need to push myself out of this mentality.

Last year I had 2 resolutions: Lower my overall sugar intake and communicate with more people. Baring end-of-the-year with the influx of treats popping up, I think I've succeeded in the sugar goal at least - I'm drinking far more water and black coffee or tea in the morning with no added sugars. Still highly overweight, but I'm making some slight progress. I cannot say I've had the same luck with communication. Certainly I've managed to do things with people more frequently online compared to 2023, though I still have periods of time where I feel isolation. This is likely due to the lack of communication that occurs in person, mostly due to vast differences in opinion between myself and others in this state. I will need to continue building on this in the current year - I get the feeling that, with some possible changes around the corner due to the state of affairs with the US, having more circles and friends will be more important than ever.

Art-wise: I only managed 10 pics this year. 1 sketch page, 2 reference pages using a new format, 2 pics of alternate outfits for characters of mine in a Y2K-inspired D&D campaign, a pic for 8/8, 3 gifts (1 anniversary, 2 Christmas) and 1 miscellaneous pic where I did some practice with close-up perspective. There are some various things that either were never finished or were practice and not meant to be posted, but overall I wish I had done more. That said, most of the reason for not doing more was classwork. With any luck and some focus, I'm hoping to improve that number - my goal is to be able to end 2025 by filling out one of those "end of year" meme posts where you post 1 pic per month of the year.

Somewhat related to art, I need to play catch up with the other sites I post to. Twitter is effectively null at this point - I still have the account, I still fave and repost some things, but I will not be posting there anymore. Bluesky has become much more active over time, hopefully it'll remain that way and wont end up a shitshow like twitter has. Weasyl...seems like a bit of a ghost town? I admit, I don't look there often. So all that said, I think Itaku and Bluesky are the primary other-sites atm. Given all that's happened with FA last year, I feel that it is important to spread out more than I have. I still need to look into postybirb for the sake of keeping up-to-date with things on multiple sites. I mentioned it before, though I am reluctant to do so, I could also potentially revive my Eka's account too if I need more space (Inkbunny and Deviantart are still off the table though)

Resolutions for the new year: I will be continuing to try and talk more. I need to fight the habit of wanting to avoid starting conversations. I find that when someone else starts a talk I can participate with no qualms, but when it comes to being the one to initiate there is incredible reluctance on my end. Feelings of discomfort, dull anxiety, fears related to rejection - these are things that need to be overcome. I also want to produce more art, but I want to have more focus in the art that I produce - more practice, maybe some more long-form projects, stuff that helps me improve and makes me want to draw. I want to see about getting a new job, hopefully with the help of my bachelor's degree once I graduate in the summer.

I suppose that's about it. Like I said, I don't feel like I truly have a lot to report, or at least anything that would come across as particularly interesting. The future is gonna be tough, ngl. Who can really say what the next year, let alone next few years, are gonna be like. Remember to stay strong, to stay unified within the groups that accept you for who you are. I feel that Unity is going to be a very powerful thing more than ever.