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Owed explanation
9 months ago
Hello, people who still follow me.
So, some brief context. I'm exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder, which causes severe and erratic mood swings and behavioral changes.
I said it'd be brief.
I have come to the conclusion, simple and pure, that I am a fool for trying to take commissions. Writing is supposed to be for passion from me. It's supposed to be something I enjoy as a hobby and don't feel pressure about. It's meant to be... I don't know. Fun. And every time I open for commissions it becomes work. It becomes agonizing, painful work. Creativity on another's behalf is difficult to such an extent that I should not pursue it in the slightest. It will drive me insane. It's what caused the indefinite hiatus. The one I hate myself over.
Additionally, I struggle with ideas and motivation. A lot. Sometimes, the wind blows right and I hit an idea that I just can't resist, and I love when that happens! Most times, that never happens. So... even though I will not be taking commissions ever again, I offer this:
You can give me a prompt. A request, even. If I like it, maybe I'll do it, or maybe I'll take a piece of it and make something more out of that. Don't be upset if I don't take your suggestion. Oftentimes, comm ideas don't hit with me for whatever reason, and those make me money. This is free.
Anywho, sorry I went crazy. It will happen again.
So, some brief context. I'm exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder, which causes severe and erratic mood swings and behavioral changes.
I said it'd be brief.
I have come to the conclusion, simple and pure, that I am a fool for trying to take commissions. Writing is supposed to be for passion from me. It's supposed to be something I enjoy as a hobby and don't feel pressure about. It's meant to be... I don't know. Fun. And every time I open for commissions it becomes work. It becomes agonizing, painful work. Creativity on another's behalf is difficult to such an extent that I should not pursue it in the slightest. It will drive me insane. It's what caused the indefinite hiatus. The one I hate myself over.
Additionally, I struggle with ideas and motivation. A lot. Sometimes, the wind blows right and I hit an idea that I just can't resist, and I love when that happens! Most times, that never happens. So... even though I will not be taking commissions ever again, I offer this:
You can give me a prompt. A request, even. If I like it, maybe I'll do it, or maybe I'll take a piece of it and make something more out of that. Don't be upset if I don't take your suggestion. Oftentimes, comm ideas don't hit with me for whatever reason, and those make me money. This is free.
Anywho, sorry I went crazy. It will happen again.
Art is a very fickle thing in my experience, especially in the mentality department. You seem to be doing fine in terms of recognizing how you struggle mentally with it, and are taking proper course to help alleviate it—that’s a very rational thing to do. I hope you find the management for bipolar (especially if it is straight up BPD) issues you need, and that your art proves to be fulfilling for you in the future.