I couldn't help it Cassidy.

I don't know if you can see me.
I don't know if you're even looking.

But she's here...
She's been here...
Don't call it a come back...
She's been for years..

It's only in the past 4 years now since I stopped running from her. But she was still there...
Because.... Ya know ...
They say
In heaven love comes first.
Maybe heaven... Is a place on Earth...

I dropped some more cards tonight.
I know a lot of these drawings are unfinished..
There's so many of them.

I hope it was okay I wished you Happy New Year.
I know I broke protocol doing that... But it was new years eve.
*Sigh*
I just wish I would've stopped running sooner...
I only ran because that's what I had thought I was supposed to do.
I thought it was good.
But I guess I'm naughty.
I just .. learned from her that sometimes being naughty feels sooo good.

I ran because the feelings and emotions were so heavy and I thought I could keep stuffing them down but they'd always keep coming back up.

And I knew that ... Just accepting them would mean that I would have to feel that way all the time.

It's not easy being so emotional and so horny and all the time.

But I'm glad I stopped running.

It's just... Ya know when ya mess around with guys like Freddy and work with love magic... It has the potential to have unpredictable it effects people's lives...

I didn't ask for any of this....
I know messed up... But that was over a decade ago.... I don't know if you've forgiven me or not.
I didn't know what was happening to me...

And yeah it's not easy....
But when I get close to her...
She makes all the hurties go away

I have friends and family and work and fans of my own now... But they all just seem like noise in the way of what's truly important.

She did what she said she'd do....
There's no more walls...
Just a door...

She's worked so hard for you...
But ya got Johnnykat locked in a dungeon
And after everything .. ..
We have no guarantee you'll even open that door but she made a way for you like she promised she would...

Normally I try to respect gender protocols...
But Johnnykat ain't just some "dead name"... Johnnykat matters...
Johnnykat is a very important cartoon character.

She loves Johnnykat
She loves you too Cassidy....
But ya can't keep Johnny locked away like this...
It ain't right Cassidy
Maybe ya can... I dunno...
It's not place to tell you what to do.
But no one's gonna tell me I can't draw Johnnykat.

That wonderful Johnnykat...
It was never her intent to control either one of you.
But I tell what...
She can control me all she likes boy howdy.
I'm gonna do better for you...
Every time I fall...
I'm gonna get back up...
I don't know if you'll ever forgive me...
I don't know if you'll ever accept me....
But I'm gonna keep working for that forgiveness
And I'm gonna working for that acceptance...
I'm not gonna push anything you on ya Cassidy.
That ain't how Aufy operate's.
But...

I don't know if you can see just how deep the bullet lays... It's deep... And it hurts...
But I'm gonna keep running up that road
Run'n up that building.