hello furaffinity users ! im super appreciative of a community i have and im really happy about the way you like my art here, this is perhaps the place where i feel the most stable and grounded on the internet ❤️

to put it short: i was in ukraine all my life and im moving to eu in a month because im trying to save myself from going insane (or possibly being killed with a russian missile etc) ... and im broke as hell so heres my buymeacoffee. longer rant below:

i somehow wasnt been able to leave since the war started despite what i always wanted to. im a very freeze response type of person and i only got enough courage and support to do it now. so im more or less moving to germany in a month and i have a cat who i cant leave behind so documents for her were honestly super annoying and expensive to make. my commissions havent been opened for what, like a year? and most of what i had saved i spend on it and im kinda really stressed because it feels so stupid to move out with how little money i have in my pocket but im really scared i cant keep myself alive mentally if i wont do it
i really dont like being annoying like that eeeh but i work really slowly on the commissions and i feel as depressed as i ever was in my life right now. you could notice all my art for a long time already is mostly my ocs + its just sketches or quick low effort drawings because i genuinely almost never can make myself draw for more than a couple of hours once on a lucky day and every time i can only motivate myself enough with my beloved ocs and a thought what i can finish it quickly and get some quick dopamine of creating something + showing it ... and honestly im really sad and unsatisfied in my art being that way. i hope i can use this journal as some extra motivation for me to finish the only 2 commissions i have, i feel really guilty and i dont recognise myself with how quickly i could do the same work before ... but sentimental things aside, i will probably open my commissions again after the move (if i will finish the works i have before of course) depending on how much free time and energy i have. i feel hopeful about it, i would like for myself to do it but i can only hopeee

idk if anyone reading it but thank you if you did !!! feel free to reach out in any way, donation would be the most appreciated - any little number means a lot more for me in my currency. other donations you can see on that page are from when us elections happened and i majorly freaked out back then and started to plan my move. im so hopeful for it and overwhelmingly thankful for support im able to get