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Atari / pet loss
9 months ago
Atari is gone. He was only a year old.
He had a lot of issues, and it was kind of a ‘as long as he’s comfortable’ kind of outlook. He had kidney issues, he didn’t like to drink out of a bowl or a fountain so I gave him water out of a dropper several times a day.
He started to go down this Tuesday. He was hiding and didn’t want to eat or drink, when he usually comes up to me every morning to let me know he’s ready to be given water. Wednesday he got worse. Thursday morning he was gone. I held him while he went. He was only a year old. But he had quickly become one of my favorite reasons to get out of bed. I kept him going and he kept me going.
It hurts a lot. I don’t know when I’ll accept what happened, if I’ll ever accept it. I know he knew he was loved. I’m thinking of getting a weighted plush of a gray cat so I can put it in the specific spot he liked to sleep when I go to bed. He liked to lay on my legs. Last night there was an empty spot there, but then it also felt like he was still there.
I think he’s going to join Kisa and Yuki in my yearly drawing challenge thing. He was special.
I think most were confused about why I had a cat named Atari in the first place. And that’s because when he was a little baby his baby kitten noises sounded like little beeps and ‘pews’.
When he was still around I bought a design off of someone based off an arcade cat that I was going to redesign to look more like him in some ways. I’m working on that now. I need more characters that are just for comfort.
But anyway. The world is on fire and I know there’s a lot going on but. If you took the time to read this I appreciate it. I’ve been carrying a lot of grief since 2020 and I’ve been trying to teach myself how to manage it better. I’m not a religious person, I don’t know what happens when we go, if anything at all. I do like to think there’s something. I like the idea that no one is truly gone even if that’s just a comforting thought mostly. I guess I like to think everything happens for a reason in some way, and that everything here is just temporary but I don’t know.
Thinking about it brings comfort. Thinking that he’s up somewhere or whatever sitting with the sun in his fur and with Kisa and Yuki or any of the other pets that aren’t here anymore helps. He deserved the world. His little body disagreed but he absolutely did.
He had a lot of issues, and it was kind of a ‘as long as he’s comfortable’ kind of outlook. He had kidney issues, he didn’t like to drink out of a bowl or a fountain so I gave him water out of a dropper several times a day.
He started to go down this Tuesday. He was hiding and didn’t want to eat or drink, when he usually comes up to me every morning to let me know he’s ready to be given water. Wednesday he got worse. Thursday morning he was gone. I held him while he went. He was only a year old. But he had quickly become one of my favorite reasons to get out of bed. I kept him going and he kept me going.
It hurts a lot. I don’t know when I’ll accept what happened, if I’ll ever accept it. I know he knew he was loved. I’m thinking of getting a weighted plush of a gray cat so I can put it in the specific spot he liked to sleep when I go to bed. He liked to lay on my legs. Last night there was an empty spot there, but then it also felt like he was still there.
I think he’s going to join Kisa and Yuki in my yearly drawing challenge thing. He was special.
I think most were confused about why I had a cat named Atari in the first place. And that’s because when he was a little baby his baby kitten noises sounded like little beeps and ‘pews’.
When he was still around I bought a design off of someone based off an arcade cat that I was going to redesign to look more like him in some ways. I’m working on that now. I need more characters that are just for comfort.
But anyway. The world is on fire and I know there’s a lot going on but. If you took the time to read this I appreciate it. I’ve been carrying a lot of grief since 2020 and I’ve been trying to teach myself how to manage it better. I’m not a religious person, I don’t know what happens when we go, if anything at all. I do like to think there’s something. I like the idea that no one is truly gone even if that’s just a comforting thought mostly. I guess I like to think everything happens for a reason in some way, and that everything here is just temporary but I don’t know.
Thinking about it brings comfort. Thinking that he’s up somewhere or whatever sitting with the sun in his fur and with Kisa and Yuki or any of the other pets that aren’t here anymore helps. He deserved the world. His little body disagreed but he absolutely did.
I am not particularly religious, but I do believe in souls, and that a soul can become aware of love previously experienced after suffering death and decide to move on accomplished or return in another form if feeling unfufilled or following a sacred personal obligation even if at peace.
One day, I hope you are able to meet Atari's soul again, and that you are given reminders of his love. In some beliefs, it is said that pets that die early willingly absorb a greater fate that would have befallen an owner had they not taken on the burden. From the spiritual perspective of some, a yearling leaving this world so soon and going through all 9 lives in such a short period, would translate to you avoiding a great tumultuous danger on their belief in you.
Take it easy, is all I can say. Atari would want you to remember to sleep, eat, and play. Your memories are cherished.
I've never heard of that belief but that is an interesting idea. Thank you for sharing I love to hear other perspectives and beliefs, it genuinely brings comfort to know that even though processing death is difficult and hurts and the hurt feels endless - that we are all connected by this pain in some way, and we all carry it together. If this belief is true I want to keep going on for him, I want to be able to tell him about so many things that happened in this life whenever we meet up again.
I appreciate your kind words. Thank you so much. <3