[CW: Abuse] Probably will be absent for a while, sorry
7 months ago
TLDR: My family pinned me down while my mom beat me up and now, I'm moving out for my safety. Comms will be delayed.
Around 4 pm yesterday I got into a fight with my mother who I live with.
It started as a conversation about my hair, how it's not well maintained, and I could do better
I told her I wanted to cut it shorter to make it easier for me to take care of it as it is thick, long and also, I'd think I'd look good with shorter hair.
My mom then said something like "Why would you want to be bald? So, you can continue to be lazy?"
I tell her again that I just wanted to have it shorter to make it easier for myself and pointed out that she had done something similar years before having her sides of the head shaved
She is getting frustrated and putting on a much louder and rude tone "Yeah but that's different, it was because I was balding on the sides. you're just lazy and don't want to put in the work to take care of it"
At this point I was angry too. To give some background it's been years already known that I wanted to shorten my hair to make it easier for myself and been ignored and every time I've asked for time of availability for help with my hair I've been met with no answers or avoidance and when I do get one, they forget, and when I remind them about it she pushes it off and then start threatening to not help me or take my things away if I remind her too much about the promised help she said she'd give me so I end up without any anyways. So, at this point I'm very frustrated at the lack of help and started screaming "Then fucking help me then, fucking help me" and she took a swing at my face, I push her away and end up falling onto my bed behind me. She jumps on top of me pulls off my glasses and start punching me in the face. I start kicking to get her off of me, other family members see what's going on, join and hold me down to let her continue beating my face in.
After she was done everyone left but her, she stares at me say "and you don't see how you're in the wrong? Don't make me the villain in your story."
I just sat there saying nothing but maintaining eye contact as I didn't think anything I could say would make it better. It'd probably just make her angrier.
she leaves but then comes back into my room after 5-10 mins to talk to me again.
"So, you still think you're not in the wrong?..Why would you hit me?"
"Because you swung at me first"
"No, I didn't, I wouldn't hit you, I would never hit you. why would you think I would hit you?"
"Well, you just did"
"No, I wasn't, I was slapping you. That's not hitting. I needed to slap you to because I didn't like your attitude and you moving your hands like that. I demand a apology because you're in the wrong"
(For context I was moving my hands while talking, I get expressive with my hands while talking sometimes, they were nothing more than that. They were more energetic than usual as I was angry. I feel like this is normal? but felt the need to say it anyways just in case and to prevent confusion)
I apologized just to get it over with and the topic of my hair came up again
"So why do you want to be bald when you can get braids instead?"
"I just wanted it to be short like a bob or something, can I not have that?"
"Ohhh, why didn't you just say you wanted it short like a bob in the first place?"
"I did say that that was the first thing I told you"
"No, you didn't, you wanted to be bald so you can be lazy. All I told you was take better care of your hair and you got mad at me for it. All you had to say was you wanted it short instead of giving me all this attitude"
"So can I have my hair shorter?"
"Yes, but still need to wash your hair"
I guess I'll end it here. I've been living with her my whole life, and this basically gives some insight how my life's been plus other things I've had to endure like SA from multiple family members and not getting help. she has also prevented me from going out to hang out with friends and moving out. She told me I'll never be able to support myself and would have to rely on her to live the rest of my life because I do not meet the forever moving goal post she has
I've been wanting to sneak moving out with my partners for a while, but we were waiting for a perfect time to do it, but this fight broke the camel's back for me and now I plan to move out as soon as possible. I am now planning with my partners to leave.
I do not ask for anything but patience and kindness especially my current clients. I'm sorry to keep y'all waiting but I'll probably will need a couple weeks to leave and recover from this
Around 4 pm yesterday I got into a fight with my mother who I live with.
It started as a conversation about my hair, how it's not well maintained, and I could do better
I told her I wanted to cut it shorter to make it easier for me to take care of it as it is thick, long and also, I'd think I'd look good with shorter hair.
My mom then said something like "Why would you want to be bald? So, you can continue to be lazy?"
I tell her again that I just wanted to have it shorter to make it easier for myself and pointed out that she had done something similar years before having her sides of the head shaved
She is getting frustrated and putting on a much louder and rude tone "Yeah but that's different, it was because I was balding on the sides. you're just lazy and don't want to put in the work to take care of it"
At this point I was angry too. To give some background it's been years already known that I wanted to shorten my hair to make it easier for myself and been ignored and every time I've asked for time of availability for help with my hair I've been met with no answers or avoidance and when I do get one, they forget, and when I remind them about it she pushes it off and then start threatening to not help me or take my things away if I remind her too much about the promised help she said she'd give me so I end up without any anyways. So, at this point I'm very frustrated at the lack of help and started screaming "Then fucking help me then, fucking help me" and she took a swing at my face, I push her away and end up falling onto my bed behind me. She jumps on top of me pulls off my glasses and start punching me in the face. I start kicking to get her off of me, other family members see what's going on, join and hold me down to let her continue beating my face in.
After she was done everyone left but her, she stares at me say "and you don't see how you're in the wrong? Don't make me the villain in your story."
I just sat there saying nothing but maintaining eye contact as I didn't think anything I could say would make it better. It'd probably just make her angrier.
she leaves but then comes back into my room after 5-10 mins to talk to me again.
"So, you still think you're not in the wrong?..Why would you hit me?"
"Because you swung at me first"
"No, I didn't, I wouldn't hit you, I would never hit you. why would you think I would hit you?"
"Well, you just did"
"No, I wasn't, I was slapping you. That's not hitting. I needed to slap you to because I didn't like your attitude and you moving your hands like that. I demand a apology because you're in the wrong"
(For context I was moving my hands while talking, I get expressive with my hands while talking sometimes, they were nothing more than that. They were more energetic than usual as I was angry. I feel like this is normal? but felt the need to say it anyways just in case and to prevent confusion)
I apologized just to get it over with and the topic of my hair came up again
"So why do you want to be bald when you can get braids instead?"
"I just wanted it to be short like a bob or something, can I not have that?"
"Ohhh, why didn't you just say you wanted it short like a bob in the first place?"
"I did say that that was the first thing I told you"
"No, you didn't, you wanted to be bald so you can be lazy. All I told you was take better care of your hair and you got mad at me for it. All you had to say was you wanted it short instead of giving me all this attitude"
"So can I have my hair shorter?"
"Yes, but still need to wash your hair"
I guess I'll end it here. I've been living with her my whole life, and this basically gives some insight how my life's been plus other things I've had to endure like SA from multiple family members and not getting help. she has also prevented me from going out to hang out with friends and moving out. She told me I'll never be able to support myself and would have to rely on her to live the rest of my life because I do not meet the forever moving goal post she has
I've been wanting to sneak moving out with my partners for a while, but we were waiting for a perfect time to do it, but this fight broke the camel's back for me and now I plan to move out as soon as possible. I am now planning with my partners to leave.
I do not ask for anything but patience and kindness especially my current clients. I'm sorry to keep y'all waiting but I'll probably will need a couple weeks to leave and recover from this

Valusberg
~valusberg
Oh my gosh that sucks! I really hope you move out quickly cause wow, it did not need to escalate like that

Eviscerator
~eviscerator
People who say that you can always reason through problems and never resort to force because it is uncivilized and past its time never dealt with people like your mother. I'm sorry you're in this position where you have to either beat someone or leave.

zororichao
~zororichao
I hope you are able to move out quickly and quietly and wish you the best.

danielcartpusher2
~danielcartpusher2
OMG! I am so sorry that had happened to you! Move out quickly when you can.

Retchet Opossum
~anonydragon0
Fuck. Yeah, please get to safety!

saronona16
~saronona16
I'm sorry to hear that :( I hope you stay safe and you're able to get on recover okay

Bonestheskelebunny01
~bonestheskelebunny01
We'll always forever support you man, that was horrible on your mother's end on something miniscule. Stay safe and I fully support ya to move with your partners

Acester1642
~acester1642
Stay safe out there Tuesday. Sorry about what's goin' down.