Dwindling Value
8 months ago
I feel like I don’t make people happy anymore. I don’t do enough to keep up and be something of value to others. I’m just boring little me and they move on.
The more I try to be me the less people seem interested. I’m just not appealing anymore, assuming I ever was.
I’m not fun. I’m not special. There’s no benefit to knowing me.
My art peaked so long ago. It used to have a magic that I haven’t been able to capture again.
Or maybe it was never there to begin and I’ve been clinging to empty hopes this whole time.
The more I try to be me the less people seem interested. I’m just not appealing anymore, assuming I ever was.
I’m not fun. I’m not special. There’s no benefit to knowing me.
My art peaked so long ago. It used to have a magic that I haven’t been able to capture again.
Or maybe it was never there to begin and I’ve been clinging to empty hopes this whole time.
You are an incredible artist, you make some of the most coolest, sexiest and as well just overall impeccable designs out there, especially the one you made for me over two years ago. I still truly think about it and love it lots and hope to get another piece like that from you.
I think you're a very fun, bubbly, kind and lovely person, and I genuinely wish I could talk to you more, I just feel sometimes that I'm being too much or am being annoying so I fear to reachout, but I really do care about you, that's why I poke you every so often is because I care about you.
You will keep improving, you will keep growing and i'm certain of it. Because you are a bright, and beautiful person who deserves the best.
Regardless. I will be here Breezy and I will do whatever it takes to lift you up.
That said, I find it hard to believe that you aren't fun, if what you create is anything to go by. And your art is unique and always puts a smile on my face, so I know you make at least one person happy (and I'm sure there are many more). As for your art peaking, I disagree. Your style has improved greatly over the years, without it ever not being yours.
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
It's kind of cliche, buuut I find it rings true. Sometimes birds doing silly things cheers me up, so here's a video of some crows having fun: https://youtu.be/tnUN4wIxzmI
And come on, you created a whole community from scratch, that's something remarkable and to be glad of it.
Be proud of that and love yourself for what you created, not for what others may or may not think.
*hug
Ultimately what is important is that you find joy in creating your art, that moment when something clicks and lines and colors fall into place on their own accord.
I hope you can find that spark again, just don't let what you think others believe smother it.
-hug-
You are not alone, Breezy.
Comfort and satisfaction aren't the same thing and we've found great value in just doing what we want to do for our art and using periods of time where what we draw doesn't command people's attention to say "well, I'm still going to draw what I want to anyways, because I'm doing it for me, not them". At the end of the day, people liking your art should be secondary to the satisfaction you get in creating it :3