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My hiatus, and what it means.
7 months ago
Just a while back, I declared on Bluesky that I'd be on hiatus until mid January. I extended it indefinitely when that time came, and here's why.
A few months ago, I noticed that my enjoyment of being a furry and a porn artist started to decline. Art went from an enjoyable hobby to something I'd force myself to do through commissions so I felt productive, and my middling social aptitude turned from a socially anxious struggle into a near entire disinterest in wanting to talk to anyone. My sexual drive has been lowered to the point that I get mildly irritated when someone tries to interact with me in that way now, and I can't stomach the idea of making more NSFW art.
To keep it brief, I'm in a rut. A lot of past trauma involving others has completely jammed my ability to be social in any regard, and a break I took from college due to uncertainty about my major has turned into a cyclical pit of personal isolation that's left my personal life a mess and my future illegible. At this point, I feel like I could leave all this behind right now without an ounce of guilt.
Of course, that's not a feeling I want to have. I may not be sure what I want, but what I know that I need is a good amount of time to take a big step back and work on myself. Whatever that translates into is yet to be seen, but I'm currently doing what I need to do and seeing who I need to see to get to a place that I want to be. I truly appreciate everyone I've seen along the way, and I'm grateful for the experiences I've had thus far. Thank you all for reading this.
A few months ago, I noticed that my enjoyment of being a furry and a porn artist started to decline. Art went from an enjoyable hobby to something I'd force myself to do through commissions so I felt productive, and my middling social aptitude turned from a socially anxious struggle into a near entire disinterest in wanting to talk to anyone. My sexual drive has been lowered to the point that I get mildly irritated when someone tries to interact with me in that way now, and I can't stomach the idea of making more NSFW art.
To keep it brief, I'm in a rut. A lot of past trauma involving others has completely jammed my ability to be social in any regard, and a break I took from college due to uncertainty about my major has turned into a cyclical pit of personal isolation that's left my personal life a mess and my future illegible. At this point, I feel like I could leave all this behind right now without an ounce of guilt.
Of course, that's not a feeling I want to have. I may not be sure what I want, but what I know that I need is a good amount of time to take a big step back and work on myself. Whatever that translates into is yet to be seen, but I'm currently doing what I need to do and seeing who I need to see to get to a place that I want to be. I truly appreciate everyone I've seen along the way, and I'm grateful for the experiences I've had thus far. Thank you all for reading this.
I wish you good luck finding something you like to do and be.
When you find something that brings you joy and you are happy, I will be happy for you, too. ^^
Hopefully you can take the time you need to get yourself out of your rut and achieve what you'd like to do, wishing the best.
Even though I'm just another watcher, I hope you'll accept my well wishes. Take all the time you need to improve your mental health and find happiness. If it turns out this community or even the art stuff in general is detrimental to your well being, then I hope you find success and happiness in another route in life and don't look back. Keep the friends you have close, and do what needs to be done to achieve your goals. You can't help anyone else if you've stretched yourself too thin, after all. Either way, thank you for the content you've presented to myself and others, and if you must take your leave, good luck out there! Keep making friends and keep your chin up if you can!
The end goal is maintaining a healthy balance in my life, and it would be nice to get back to things eventually. But regardless to whatever direction things go, it's extremely nice to hear that people derive happiness and enjoyment from my stuff. It makes me feel like what I did has value, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.
Stay safe bud, and rest well :3