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You've Escaped, Where Are Ya??
8 months ago
>>>If this journal is before 2020, I was younger than 18 and experienced a lot of neurological trauma :woozy_face:
>>>If this journal is before 2022 August 17th this was before I was a furry!
>>>If this journal is before 2022 August 17th this was before I was a furry!
Something I imagine sometimes is on people's minds when they come across my page :wheeze:
Short answer: exhausted, fatigued, very much still. Might see a doc about it
Longer answer:
Brain is still getting used to, just not being bombarded with requests, and living by one's own-self, making decisions for myself - which is fantastic, I've never actually felt this free in my life before.
Though, been having some issues, not too good with organization (had that one before) and another one I can think of right now involves blood and mucus so I'm going to do a spoiler;
So basically, for the entire month, my nose has been bleeding almost non-stop, every day. I initially thought it was because ohh "maybe it's because of a dry environment, especially if I'm having the window open because of how hot it gets", but even in times when I have the window closed I still get it - and it's not a conventional nosebleed either, it doesn't come dripping out of my nose - only when I blow my nose. I noticed it started to happen after I had mismanaged the organization of an organics bag (as there isn't any public container or bucket to put organics in beyond going outside each time - and even then I'm pretty sure it needs to be in a bag and can't be just willy-nilly thrown in), leaving it in my room as it well, *fermented*. I've since improved the way I store organics, I hope, but I still get nasal issues - that involve blood. Happens primarily after I awake - I'll blow my nose and have thick gelatin mucus with blood in it, or just straight up splatters of blood all over my hands. Don't see any black colouring so it's definitely not fungal, but it does have brown and some green (brown is from dried blood IIRC, green usually indicative of infection). Planning to hopefully go to a walk-in tomorrow and see a doc about it, but I'm pretty sure it's the primary thing making me exhausted as of recent, hoping it's nothing too serious. As of writing right now, there is blood in my nose STILL... Fortunately not coughing up blood so that's a plus, lmao :D
(now talking about mucus)
And even then, before that, whenever I laid my head down to try to sleep, I'd suddenly get super-congested to the point of essentially not being able to breathe at times :weary: . Still occurs to this day but at some point I just get so tired I fall asleep and it looks like I mouth breathe because I'm always dehydrated (sometimes super dehydrated) after waking up. This isn't any different from before I left my mother, and where the issue sprouted up, but I thought it'd be over, that it'd go away, but it still hasn't! And it's winter, so what on this dang green Earth could I *be allergic to???*, myself??? god I hope it's not an autoimmune disease. I'm hoping whatever this is does go away because this would just suck to have all the time... Have debated getting more pillows to prop my head up higher - which I recall helps. I still use this Otrivin nasal medication I got from time to time - ensuring I don't overuse it, but it sometimes just doesn't work, as my mucus just gets lodged deeper inside my nose instead and doesn't budge.
But yeah, that's why I haven't been too active even still... Beyond that, was also busy getting a passport - which I should be getting in a few days from now!!! :D and then I can work on trying to get my UK visa. Been programming here and there too when I have the energy. So yeah still, I'm not trying to ghost anyone if it seems like that, I am just truly *EXHAUSTED* and I'll pull myself out of roleplays or activities when I feel like I can't participate properly due to it.
Short answer: exhausted, fatigued, very much still. Might see a doc about it
Longer answer:
Brain is still getting used to, just not being bombarded with requests, and living by one's own-self, making decisions for myself - which is fantastic, I've never actually felt this free in my life before.
Though, been having some issues, not too good with organization (had that one before) and another one I can think of right now involves blood and mucus so I'm going to do a spoiler;
So basically, for the entire month, my nose has been bleeding almost non-stop, every day. I initially thought it was because ohh "maybe it's because of a dry environment, especially if I'm having the window open because of how hot it gets", but even in times when I have the window closed I still get it - and it's not a conventional nosebleed either, it doesn't come dripping out of my nose - only when I blow my nose. I noticed it started to happen after I had mismanaged the organization of an organics bag (as there isn't any public container or bucket to put organics in beyond going outside each time - and even then I'm pretty sure it needs to be in a bag and can't be just willy-nilly thrown in), leaving it in my room as it well, *fermented*. I've since improved the way I store organics, I hope, but I still get nasal issues - that involve blood. Happens primarily after I awake - I'll blow my nose and have thick gelatin mucus with blood in it, or just straight up splatters of blood all over my hands. Don't see any black colouring so it's definitely not fungal, but it does have brown and some green (brown is from dried blood IIRC, green usually indicative of infection). Planning to hopefully go to a walk-in tomorrow and see a doc about it, but I'm pretty sure it's the primary thing making me exhausted as of recent, hoping it's nothing too serious. As of writing right now, there is blood in my nose STILL... Fortunately not coughing up blood so that's a plus, lmao :D
(now talking about mucus)
And even then, before that, whenever I laid my head down to try to sleep, I'd suddenly get super-congested to the point of essentially not being able to breathe at times :weary: . Still occurs to this day but at some point I just get so tired I fall asleep and it looks like I mouth breathe because I'm always dehydrated (sometimes super dehydrated) after waking up. This isn't any different from before I left my mother, and where the issue sprouted up, but I thought it'd be over, that it'd go away, but it still hasn't! And it's winter, so what on this dang green Earth could I *be allergic to???*, myself??? god I hope it's not an autoimmune disease. I'm hoping whatever this is does go away because this would just suck to have all the time... Have debated getting more pillows to prop my head up higher - which I recall helps. I still use this Otrivin nasal medication I got from time to time - ensuring I don't overuse it, but it sometimes just doesn't work, as my mucus just gets lodged deeper inside my nose instead and doesn't budge.
But yeah, that's why I haven't been too active even still... Beyond that, was also busy getting a passport - which I should be getting in a few days from now!!! :D and then I can work on trying to get my UK visa. Been programming here and there too when I have the energy. So yeah still, I'm not trying to ghost anyone if it seems like that, I am just truly *EXHAUSTED* and I'll pull myself out of roleplays or activities when I feel like I can't participate properly due to it.
