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Update / Vent ~
6 months ago
🖤🩸🖤 I WANNA PROVE MY LOVE BEFORE I LEAVE
I WANNA MAKE YOU COME AND SCRAPE MY KNEES
WANT YOU TO BITE MY TONGUE UNTIL I BLEED
AND YOU CAN PUT THESE FUCKING WORDS IN MY OBITUARY 🖤🩸🖤
🖤🩸🖤 
🖤🩸🖤 
Been feeling a little shitty thanks to Insomnia rearing up, anxiety is on turbo and i'm flinching more than i'd like to admit.
I'm worried whole heart and soul for so many people, I think my heart is starting to lose the battle. I don't want to become a cold, dark-minded hermit again.
I've tried so many things to sleep too, but think I may need to get some Melatonin and/or go back to the doctor AGAIN.
Things have been kind of rough, but i'm trying to push through things, I always gotta keep on keepin' or I start losing myself.
Chronic pain has been flaring up, again, more than usual through stress and its making me feel useless as a person. Yknow, I feel lazy for needing to rest all the aches and pains. :/
I usually draw most of the day, but I wake up : Sore and Tired, then...it feels like flu/covid aches and pains in all my body, it just feels worse as the day goes on.
Fucking Fibromyalgia has taken a good chunk of my life and i'm trying so hard to fight back, but the depression and lethargy, no energy is INSANE.
I won't bullshit, I used to have one of the highest pain tolerances, now i'm reduced to a messy, useless waste.
Depression and Anxiety, PTSD, BPD, Psychosis and Fibro have dominated my life. I just struggle with life in general now, and I feel worthless.
Its hard. And when I dream, if I do apart from traumatic images...is the recurring being chased and not being able to use my legs, my back and also now...losing my arms too.
I'm torn up but still here, and i'm tired...I hurt, but I don't want you guys thinking its going to beat me down,
We all have bad days, but its not a bad life.
I will be seeking Psychotherapy and Intensive Counselling, so hoping to work out some of these mental bugs and see if it improves my outlook on daily challenges and problems.
There's more going on and i'm just tired.
Apologies if I worry anyone, or you feel like you can't approach me.
Just because I don't talk a lot, doesn't mean I will ever regret your messages or notes. I do love and appreciate so many of you all and I wish my head was all-together.
If I don't respond, don't take it personally. Lots of reasons behind my problems with interacting with others.
I do care about you all.
Just keep safe.
--
- Thrasher / Wolfie
xx
I'm worried whole heart and soul for so many people, I think my heart is starting to lose the battle. I don't want to become a cold, dark-minded hermit again.
I've tried so many things to sleep too, but think I may need to get some Melatonin and/or go back to the doctor AGAIN.
Things have been kind of rough, but i'm trying to push through things, I always gotta keep on keepin' or I start losing myself.
Chronic pain has been flaring up, again, more than usual through stress and its making me feel useless as a person. Yknow, I feel lazy for needing to rest all the aches and pains. :/
I usually draw most of the day, but I wake up : Sore and Tired, then...it feels like flu/covid aches and pains in all my body, it just feels worse as the day goes on.
Fucking Fibromyalgia has taken a good chunk of my life and i'm trying so hard to fight back, but the depression and lethargy, no energy is INSANE.
I won't bullshit, I used to have one of the highest pain tolerances, now i'm reduced to a messy, useless waste.
Depression and Anxiety, PTSD, BPD, Psychosis and Fibro have dominated my life. I just struggle with life in general now, and I feel worthless.
Its hard. And when I dream, if I do apart from traumatic images...is the recurring being chased and not being able to use my legs, my back and also now...losing my arms too.
I'm torn up but still here, and i'm tired...I hurt, but I don't want you guys thinking its going to beat me down,
We all have bad days, but its not a bad life.
I will be seeking Psychotherapy and Intensive Counselling, so hoping to work out some of these mental bugs and see if it improves my outlook on daily challenges and problems.
There's more going on and i'm just tired.
Apologies if I worry anyone, or you feel like you can't approach me.
Just because I don't talk a lot, doesn't mean I will ever regret your messages or notes. I do love and appreciate so many of you all and I wish my head was all-together.
If I don't respond, don't take it personally. Lots of reasons behind my problems with interacting with others.
I do care about you all.
Just keep safe.
--
- Thrasher / Wolfie
xx
It's always rough to get through rough patches.
So I can fully understand.
But like Dory says. Just keep swimming.
Keep on keeping’ on! 👍