I don't think I'm ever going to be able to work on all the art I wanted to make. Even after trying for years, I have yet to meet my own personal goal of posting at least 1 thing a month.

I still have tons of ideas for art, as well as hundreds of unfinished sketches from years back. But every year, my chronic lack of energy gets worse and worse. If it wasn't because of medication, I would be mostly in bed most of the day feeling very tired for no reason. Medication is the only reason I can function somewhat... and yet, only on some days.

But even with medication, it's not enough to support a normal life. Over and over, doctors say they don't see anything wrong in my lab tests. How can they not know what's wrong? There's clearly something very wrong with me. But they don't have anything to give me, other than what I already take. It might be this, though doctors I've spoken to are reluctant to even try to confirm this diagnosis, and even if it was confirmed, there is no cure anyway: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myalg.....tigue_syndrome

I would love to go hiking in a forest, go up a mountain... but with this lack of energy, just getting to the airport would now leave me feeling drained. It is also for this reason that going to conventions is becoming very difficult for me.

I don't want to live a life where I'm chronically fatigued from... not doing anything. Sleep does not help; sometimes sleeping makes me even more tired. Even sitting at a computer is very tiring. I know people who are much older than me and have way more energy than me.

This lack of energy results in all of my activities piling up. And then on days where I do feel somewhat ok, I desperately try to complete as many of them as I can. And then I crash again for multiple days, and more things pile up during that time... and the cycle repeats. I can't hold a normal job with this level of energy at all.

I'm going to continue trying to make and post art... but it's only getting harder and harder as the years go by. This is also the main reason why it took me so long to finish my fursuit. I'm just glad I finally finished it and wore it at a few cons, because I will never have enough energy to make another one.

I'm still going to try going to one more con. But, it could well be my last. I believe I should go this year, before my health deteriorates even further.

I'm tired of paying doctors and hospitals only to be told that they can't help me. And I don't want to speak to any therapists or psychiatrists. I'm just tired and tired and tired. There is nothing good in my future waiting for me. How could there be, with these health issues?

Furry cons used to be the only thing that truly made me happy, for one week a year, which was already nowhere near enough. And now, I won't have not even that.

Also... working on furry art had always provided a fun hobby, but seeing how AI can now generate furry art that is a thousand times better and do it a billion times faster, I feel immensely discouraged. It is now pointless to try to improve my skills, which I had always wanted to do.

It feels like artists are almost obsolete now. I'm starting to see more and more people posting art here on FA while outright lying and saying they "made it on Paint tool Sai and GIMP" when clearly they are using AI, and are even selling them as commissions, and nobody seems to care or notice, despite AI art not being allowed here. I loved having pride in my work, but with people doing this, it's become impossible. It's become completely pointless to put pride in this hobby.

I still want to at least ink + flat-color existing sketches, as many as I can, to at least show the ideas I had with them, but I likely won't be spending any time giving them backgrounds or shading.