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have you ever?
16 years ago
General
Please tell me if this is just me...after you read of course.
i'm sure its a mental condition or something XD
have you ever hurt your self, and find out that once you stop hurting you missed hurting? kinda like how like in football i fucked up my MCL (should have gotten checked out but yea if so i would have been out 8-12weeks) first off allow me to say that trying to run with a grade 3 MCL strain (is about as close as you can get to tearing it) and having to stop on a dime, jump, and make cuts on a daily bases with it sucks. all while not being able to do half of that without wanting to scream and then sporting a very nice gimp.
anyhow.
Once it settled I found myself feeling off about feeling good. As if I really didn't like the feeling of not hurting. Strange right? I know!
but that seems to be the case with everything these days.
does anyone happen to know what that would be? (i'll probably Google it in like 3mins after i finish typing this lol)
Also, and this one scares me a bit. and I DON"T WANT TO DO IT!!!! when ever I think "wow thats knifes sharp" like with me exacto Knife, I find myself wondering what it would be like to be cut by it. Usually in a rather extreme manner O_O
like i said, I don't fantasize doing it, just it seems to be a thought. though it goes away once something else dominates my head. but for fucks sake I stash it away, like in my dresser or something lol.
what do you guys think? think i need something checked out?
--hugz everyone who views/comments-- love to all
i'm sure its a mental condition or something XD
have you ever hurt your self, and find out that once you stop hurting you missed hurting? kinda like how like in football i fucked up my MCL (should have gotten checked out but yea if so i would have been out 8-12weeks) first off allow me to say that trying to run with a grade 3 MCL strain (is about as close as you can get to tearing it) and having to stop on a dime, jump, and make cuts on a daily bases with it sucks. all while not being able to do half of that without wanting to scream and then sporting a very nice gimp.
anyhow.
Once it settled I found myself feeling off about feeling good. As if I really didn't like the feeling of not hurting. Strange right? I know!
but that seems to be the case with everything these days.
does anyone happen to know what that would be? (i'll probably Google it in like 3mins after i finish typing this lol)
Also, and this one scares me a bit. and I DON"T WANT TO DO IT!!!! when ever I think "wow thats knifes sharp" like with me exacto Knife, I find myself wondering what it would be like to be cut by it. Usually in a rather extreme manner O_O
like i said, I don't fantasize doing it, just it seems to be a thought. though it goes away once something else dominates my head. but for fucks sake I stash it away, like in my dresser or something lol.
what do you guys think? think i need something checked out?
--hugz everyone who views/comments-- love to all
If an unwelcome thought comes into my head, I do my best to think about something else right away. Luckily, I don't get too many thoughts that would involve harm to myself or others. Turning on the TV, listening to music, writing a computer program, or almost any change in activity, is usually enough to kill an unwanted thought.
maybe its part depression part not having any kind of physical challenge to overcome
What sort of physical challenge would you want to overcome? If you feel the need for such, there is no reason you can't put yourself into situations that require a challenge.
so its like wtf in there lol.
and no its not often I think about it, just really graphic when i do. I don't think gashing your stomach open with an exacto knife is good for you O_O
but as stated, its not something i'm like "omg i must do it"
but yea not good.
Also, and this one scares me a bit. and I DON"T WANT TO DO IT!!!! when ever I think "wow thats knifes sharp" like with me exacto Knife, I find myself wondering what it would be like to be cut by it. Usually in a rather extreme manner O_O
"like i said, I don't fantasize doing it, just it seems to be a thought. though it goes away once something else dominates my head. but for fucks sake I stash it away, like in my dresser or something lol.
what do you guys think? think i need something checked out?
--hugz everyone who views/comments-- love to all
Well...I know that feeling.It scares me, but I have them a lot. Same as you, I don't want to do it, really - but the thought is there...a lot actually.
As for me, I kinda have a, what do you call it? A "confidence partner"?
If the thought is particularly strong or frequent or whatever, I tell her about it. She helps me through it, pretty much. And since I rarely go more than a few days without contact with her in some form, it works rather well.
But, good rule of thumb is - if you think you need to get checked out, get checked out. Otherwise, just do what helps get you past it - so long as you don't hurt yourself in the process.
Hope that helps some, Ol' Buddy Bear.
-Huggles tight-
though unlike most ppl, the fact that i reconize it makes it much easier not to act out the symptoms.
but that could be helping the thoughts crop up and linger.