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SO the last time I uploaded....
9 months ago
General
My grandmother was still alive. That's so freaking awful to think about.
That house, those artworks... I'm not sure where they are. I've bounced between living in Florida and back to PA. I've been homeless (living in my car), gotten a job a Walmart, and am now working for the Philly airport. The more I think back on the days that have swept by and all the trauma.... it's no wonder I've bowed out of life online... and it sucks.
I'm older now. Truly a greymuzzle by age and life experiences (if not wisdom. I mean really.... >.> ) ugh. I need to get into a better situation.. but what even is that anymore? Looking back on the financial health of the US and how significantly it changed *just* in my life time.... it's no wonder I'm so emotionally f'd up.
I need to do something to change that. But what?
I've tried sooooo many things, and they either fail or something else gets in the way. I try to learn from that and... it seems I'm spiraling instead. I KNOW I'm not the only one suffering like this. I've talked with others. Many of the same stories are repeated. It's awful.
But art brings us together.... So I guess I'll upload some of my past stuff, as I don't have a lot of current stuff... :P Maybe that'll get me motivated again?
I don't know. I only have 1 day a week off that I have to put as much into as I can - including rest.... and chores... and other adulting stuff... and mental health care...... >.> That is until I pay off my 401k loan. Then I can seriously consider quitting the one job. I just need to determine what to do with that 401k.... >.>
I'm also doing more financial education stuff. I had an ahha moment recently in which I realized that so many of us, me included, were raised and taught by our social-level/social groups to be worker ants. Not Capitalists. We were taught HOW to make money, just HOW to be workers. o.O
I'm done. I need to get more stable, money wise, but I'm done.
Time to change, learn, grow, and share what I've learned. Because we won't get to a better place unless we grow and learn.
That house, those artworks... I'm not sure where they are. I've bounced between living in Florida and back to PA. I've been homeless (living in my car), gotten a job a Walmart, and am now working for the Philly airport. The more I think back on the days that have swept by and all the trauma.... it's no wonder I've bowed out of life online... and it sucks.
I'm older now. Truly a greymuzzle by age and life experiences (if not wisdom. I mean really.... >.> ) ugh. I need to get into a better situation.. but what even is that anymore? Looking back on the financial health of the US and how significantly it changed *just* in my life time.... it's no wonder I'm so emotionally f'd up.
I need to do something to change that. But what?
I've tried sooooo many things, and they either fail or something else gets in the way. I try to learn from that and... it seems I'm spiraling instead. I KNOW I'm not the only one suffering like this. I've talked with others. Many of the same stories are repeated. It's awful.
But art brings us together.... So I guess I'll upload some of my past stuff, as I don't have a lot of current stuff... :P Maybe that'll get me motivated again?
I don't know. I only have 1 day a week off that I have to put as much into as I can - including rest.... and chores... and other adulting stuff... and mental health care...... >.> That is until I pay off my 401k loan. Then I can seriously consider quitting the one job. I just need to determine what to do with that 401k.... >.>
I'm also doing more financial education stuff. I had an ahha moment recently in which I realized that so many of us, me included, were raised and taught by our social-level/social groups to be worker ants. Not Capitalists. We were taught HOW to make money, just HOW to be workers. o.O
I'm done. I need to get more stable, money wise, but I'm done.
Time to change, learn, grow, and share what I've learned. Because we won't get to a better place unless we grow and learn.
And yeah, it's rough,and even though I'm in a stable place, I increasingly feel trapped. The opportunity to go elsewhere seems to be drying up. I hear horror stories from people I know about how companies are, and it's tough to want to take a jump when you're in a reasonable safe spot.
buh. ^.^