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5 months ago
😸Incoming Mowing🐾
i've been so bitter lately i haven't had time to deal in any of my fetish stuff. i had a bunch of fantasy scenarios like, pre-2020 but i think my time with the Amazing Disappearing Fox fucked something up because they're all missing now and had been wearing out since 2019 and the Fall of Foley's. i feel like my lifestory path has been on the fritz and the more gentrified bullshit that gets dumped into my life the more on the fritz it is. thing is, i like the path i was on- in-so-far-as i liked that i had friends who cared about me, social occasions i got to dress up as a talking animal for, a family that loved me even though i'm a fucking horny weirdo, and idk at least some kind of idea of something to do with the rest of my life. and gosh i loved being a stoner and a babyfur at the same time. diapers really are the best stoner underwear.
but i guess what i'm saying is that i want to get back involved in all that but its been so long since the like one time i was actively involved that i don't remember how to start. so i'm just going to write a few things here and whomever can go wherever with whatever but please ask along the way if you want to try something very different.
i like the intimacy and trust of vore, the tactile potential of all the maw and swallowing stuff and the belly as this place of refuge that feels comfortable and right, but also can be posed as a place of "lesser", of being dominated, of "i got you and now you're mine" while still being the former in actual practice.
i like the comfort, security, and certainty of power dynamics. i am a sub, pure and simple. i can play a dominant and i like to, but i'm a sub. i want to run around on all fours in a big, windswept grass field with gently sloping hills, that's what feeling free in all that submission feels like, and i LIKE it. ALOT. and projecting dominance goes a hell of a long way in getting someone to believe it, and i'm perfectly happy to suspend my disbelief that you're always like that so you don't have to be like "oh god i can never show any emotion or else i will be less of a dom" like no, its all in how you play it and taking the whole thing so seriously and at face value is the number one way to fumble a dominant role imo. its a character and i like it casual anyways so have FUN with it. that's my number one thing overall is that kink should be FUN- you know, F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for You and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all........(if you've locked onto the socio-economic implications of un-recognized kink patterns at large scale you now understand why it was so funny how Plankton misinterpreted FUN and why media literacy is important and you already have it if you just trust it)
diapers are that comfort thing turned up to 11. i kind of have a babyfur side, i still feel like that part of me i was back then when i was a little bit more mature than the other times. often i'd be playing Legos or PC games on CD-ROM, though I was getting into drawing too. I knew everything about all the Battlebots on Comedy Central Sports Presents: Battlebots, even the amazing sculpture bots Mechadon, Ginsu and Snake who didn't usually battle as much on TV. Oh and if i saw a dragline bucket at a construction site you bet your sweet patootie i could tell you what it was and what it was for. point is, i'm not really an empty-headed baby, i'm more like rugrats, though when i talk i undoubtedly sound more like the baby with the cigar from Who Framed Roger Rabbit lol. needless to say, babyfur isn't so much kink as asexual headspace that just-so-happens to be in the same class of things i like engaging with that my kinks are. diapers though? diapers definitely are fetish. but they're also not. its complicated. diapers as underwear are soft and comfortable and they relieve bathroom anxiety, especially for me as a non-binary person who is gonna feel and look "weird" no matter what public restroom i use. so yes, i use them as intended, but they're a supplement to an existing and healthy potty training routine. the fetish part comes after admitting to using them, of course. because fuck, of course it feels good. there's use, over-use, scenarios based around "being found out", scenarios based around "being found out and they like it", encouragement, "24/7" wear, and any number of additional pissplay stuff which yeah i also like. at the end of the day, none of this matters to the random person walking by at the mall or whatever after i've had to go, especially not with powder and/or the crowd of queer pals i've got around me. this is between me, myself, and whomever else happens to be into the same thing.
i'd be remiss if i didn't mention immediately after talking about one specific kind of underwear that underwear overall is a fetish of mine. i love briefs, i love panties, i love bras, i love jockstraps, i love thongs-- in regularity this fetish manifests in my being exceedingly picky about my underwear. in this capacity i believe everyone should have an underwear fetish because jesus fuck there's some lousy trends in underwear cuts and fabrics these days despite the pattern and color potential being better than ever. this is one i'll probably more actively and socially engage with an asexual format for it, i've been thinking about getting into the underwear-making game. and by that i don't mean mass-production slim-fit stuff with a picture printed on, i mean i'm gonna go be experimental and fetishy and interesting with it. nothing any brand would do (except how sears in the 1970s does it). and underwear is my go-to about how it doesn't actually matter what fetishes someone has and there's no reason to try to force them to not have the fetish. its also fun to talk in.
bellies and fat are one that i've had my taste change since back before. i used to be really into being fat myself and started gaining weight in high school. i was still into it for a while, even though i complained a lot. but something happened in 2019- i got skinny again. i think it was all the half-instead-of-full-boxes of pasta and weed smoking i was doing that made it happen, but all of a sudden all the vintage clothes i used to buy to sell (now buy the same way to wear, study, gift, use as costume in video, salvage scrap when relevant, etc) began to fit, and i could run around, and jump up on the countertop or my car's fender and sit on it without breaking anything. i could actually climb a tree, i tried and i did it for the first time in my life. and i never wanted to be fat, literally, again. personality-wise, oh i'll always be fat there and i love it dearly <3 but my love for large bodies has instead moved outward and i'd rather show my appreciation for tummies to those who have them rather than keep it all to myself~ this is still growing at the moment, and i could use some direction!
bondage is sort of new to me, sort of not. and my relationship with it is complicated. i like art of much more intense bondage than i would want to participate in irl. i've drawn it, too. i think that's the point of fantasy, after all. for me its usually gotta have an analogy to it. i think of myself, as i live my life, as unbound. and any direction begins binding. the more deep into one oath, the more bound. and i've been thinking about some pretty deep stuff. irl, i can only go so far into anything before its too much, but i like where i get to. i had been thinking about what it would be like to live as someone in the 1800s in new england while reading a book about that from back then. from what i've seen it looks like and undeveloped woods of the area, etc i found myself imagining it and wanting to experience it. good thing that Old Sturbridge Village is only about a 45 minute drive from here. (unless the gray sludge ghouls murdered Walkable City Prime while i wasn't paying attention :eyeroll:) but that life would be an example of bondage fantasy. i like doing that a lot, and i find its actually great for reading and being able to picture what's going on. in theory you could say my fursuit bondage is permanent. and i like seeking out clothes that kinda have that vibe to them. its why i'm super into button-down shirts (the dagger collar specificity is for another reason) with long sleeves which have more than one button vertically or are configured for cufflinks to close them. and why layers of clothes appeal to me, such as shirt, vest, blazer. i know there's womens' alternatives and i want to try them too- these are familiar to me and play into some other stuff too so this is why i'm sticking to them in this uncertain time. ties are great too, just not too tight because i'm not into breathplay, these end up as "dog outfits" as far as i'm concerned. its also fun to play "hide the human body" even if there's no reason to. i just like seeing the skin covered. this is all more asexual and about the overall bodyfeel rather than just the one. being reminded of it later is when it can be, you know.
Plush is really important and one of the ones that's been on the fritz the most lately and i'm losing my mind because of it. being a plush is all about being able to relax because you can't move anyways. you're just a soft toy full of nothing but nice soft stuffing. not a care in the world, just stuffing, and whatever happens is going to happen and it will be okay. In actual use, this got me through a lot of overwhelming crowds at Disney World and i'd used it to get to sleep every night until i couldn't sleep anymore and have been up nights instead. Its pretty good for sexual play, too, because i would feel very comfortable with someone i'd trust enough to be a plush around, and i usually like to see what others can come up with in response to all the flowery and fun stuff i'm always on about.
Pooltoy is similar, but not the same. its a lot more mobile if still at the whim of others. it also involves the inflation and deflation which i see as a lot of things, but i'm fond of having my inner monolog hijacked (CONSENSUALLY) so some combo of hypnosis and identity play. i was planning on using this for vlogging but it hasn't quite had the wind put in it yet thanks to the stupid gray buildings i'm very impatient with. instead i seem to have been inflated otherwise and left to bounce. this is not exactly a bad situation, as far as wanting one fill and getting a different one, but i would have liked more say in the planning of it. I'm looking to build onto this, especially by further exploring actual inflatables.
hypnosis is one that it took me a while to get into because i'm naturally sort of just resistant to jumping on anything right away. but i wanted it to work on me, and so i got myself to believe and now it does. when i let it, obviously. when i'm hypnotized, i want to have everything laid out in front of me and be with only those i trust. and the "d**per and d**per" method is the standard and has been since the 1950s- its incredibly predictable and if you don't want something you can see it coming miles away and not engage. i find a ton of peace of mind in that, recognizing patterns and learning from history are the two things i do so well, its nearly automatically. not to mention the standardization i wish you'd all let be the modern low-cost stratosphere of products. but i digress, i want to let somebody all the way in, and there's things that i won't actively admit to that i would want corrupted by the right fur. the goofy theatrical interpretation is a lot of fun too. "you are getting sleepy, very sleepy. now when i snap my fingers you will quack like a duck and jump on one foot" makes a lot better role play than therapy session, though, and one could make a much funnier character/character's alter-ego around it.
alright, idk if that answers any questions anybody had or if any of this matters but there you go. i'm into exploring things and doing stuff and whatever. but i want the kind of care that can come effortlessly that 2000 disney world had which the shitty 201os remodels removed in favor of boring modular sleepy-time. i want to know i'm alive, and didn't just miss everything i ever wanted to do, born into a world ready to go into conscious hibernation because it refuses to get its shit together. is there any reason to keep living, or is the goal to destroy it all, replace it with colorless wastelands, z-tech, and customer-service platitudes and go to sleep in amazon warehouses? just tell me the truth so i can do what i'm gonna do about it.
......
assuming there's a reason to, i'll make a video sometime talking about why i'm a pile of rocks cat with the dancing rainbow cat name. i know i'm confusing to the un-inititated, i'm also currently having to re-learn the letters of the alphabet and how to put them together so when i learn that again i'll write the script and shoot the video, okay? all my lately ranting would be better served and more accurately conveyed by dismantling the establishment of identical "Furry YouTuber" video topics and integrating what I saw and experienced in my Furry so you can understand what it FEELS like and why this matters so much to me, and why it should matter to you too.
but i guess what i'm saying is that i want to get back involved in all that but its been so long since the like one time i was actively involved that i don't remember how to start. so i'm just going to write a few things here and whomever can go wherever with whatever but please ask along the way if you want to try something very different.
i like the intimacy and trust of vore, the tactile potential of all the maw and swallowing stuff and the belly as this place of refuge that feels comfortable and right, but also can be posed as a place of "lesser", of being dominated, of "i got you and now you're mine" while still being the former in actual practice.
i like the comfort, security, and certainty of power dynamics. i am a sub, pure and simple. i can play a dominant and i like to, but i'm a sub. i want to run around on all fours in a big, windswept grass field with gently sloping hills, that's what feeling free in all that submission feels like, and i LIKE it. ALOT. and projecting dominance goes a hell of a long way in getting someone to believe it, and i'm perfectly happy to suspend my disbelief that you're always like that so you don't have to be like "oh god i can never show any emotion or else i will be less of a dom" like no, its all in how you play it and taking the whole thing so seriously and at face value is the number one way to fumble a dominant role imo. its a character and i like it casual anyways so have FUN with it. that's my number one thing overall is that kink should be FUN- you know, F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for You and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all........(if you've locked onto the socio-economic implications of un-recognized kink patterns at large scale you now understand why it was so funny how Plankton misinterpreted FUN and why media literacy is important and you already have it if you just trust it)
diapers are that comfort thing turned up to 11. i kind of have a babyfur side, i still feel like that part of me i was back then when i was a little bit more mature than the other times. often i'd be playing Legos or PC games on CD-ROM, though I was getting into drawing too. I knew everything about all the Battlebots on Comedy Central Sports Presents: Battlebots, even the amazing sculpture bots Mechadon, Ginsu and Snake who didn't usually battle as much on TV. Oh and if i saw a dragline bucket at a construction site you bet your sweet patootie i could tell you what it was and what it was for. point is, i'm not really an empty-headed baby, i'm more like rugrats, though when i talk i undoubtedly sound more like the baby with the cigar from Who Framed Roger Rabbit lol. needless to say, babyfur isn't so much kink as asexual headspace that just-so-happens to be in the same class of things i like engaging with that my kinks are. diapers though? diapers definitely are fetish. but they're also not. its complicated. diapers as underwear are soft and comfortable and they relieve bathroom anxiety, especially for me as a non-binary person who is gonna feel and look "weird" no matter what public restroom i use. so yes, i use them as intended, but they're a supplement to an existing and healthy potty training routine. the fetish part comes after admitting to using them, of course. because fuck, of course it feels good. there's use, over-use, scenarios based around "being found out", scenarios based around "being found out and they like it", encouragement, "24/7" wear, and any number of additional pissplay stuff which yeah i also like. at the end of the day, none of this matters to the random person walking by at the mall or whatever after i've had to go, especially not with powder and/or the crowd of queer pals i've got around me. this is between me, myself, and whomever else happens to be into the same thing.
i'd be remiss if i didn't mention immediately after talking about one specific kind of underwear that underwear overall is a fetish of mine. i love briefs, i love panties, i love bras, i love jockstraps, i love thongs-- in regularity this fetish manifests in my being exceedingly picky about my underwear. in this capacity i believe everyone should have an underwear fetish because jesus fuck there's some lousy trends in underwear cuts and fabrics these days despite the pattern and color potential being better than ever. this is one i'll probably more actively and socially engage with an asexual format for it, i've been thinking about getting into the underwear-making game. and by that i don't mean mass-production slim-fit stuff with a picture printed on, i mean i'm gonna go be experimental and fetishy and interesting with it. nothing any brand would do (except how sears in the 1970s does it). and underwear is my go-to about how it doesn't actually matter what fetishes someone has and there's no reason to try to force them to not have the fetish. its also fun to talk in.
bellies and fat are one that i've had my taste change since back before. i used to be really into being fat myself and started gaining weight in high school. i was still into it for a while, even though i complained a lot. but something happened in 2019- i got skinny again. i think it was all the half-instead-of-full-boxes of pasta and weed smoking i was doing that made it happen, but all of a sudden all the vintage clothes i used to buy to sell (now buy the same way to wear, study, gift, use as costume in video, salvage scrap when relevant, etc) began to fit, and i could run around, and jump up on the countertop or my car's fender and sit on it without breaking anything. i could actually climb a tree, i tried and i did it for the first time in my life. and i never wanted to be fat, literally, again. personality-wise, oh i'll always be fat there and i love it dearly <3 but my love for large bodies has instead moved outward and i'd rather show my appreciation for tummies to those who have them rather than keep it all to myself~ this is still growing at the moment, and i could use some direction!
bondage is sort of new to me, sort of not. and my relationship with it is complicated. i like art of much more intense bondage than i would want to participate in irl. i've drawn it, too. i think that's the point of fantasy, after all. for me its usually gotta have an analogy to it. i think of myself, as i live my life, as unbound. and any direction begins binding. the more deep into one oath, the more bound. and i've been thinking about some pretty deep stuff. irl, i can only go so far into anything before its too much, but i like where i get to. i had been thinking about what it would be like to live as someone in the 1800s in new england while reading a book about that from back then. from what i've seen it looks like and undeveloped woods of the area, etc i found myself imagining it and wanting to experience it. good thing that Old Sturbridge Village is only about a 45 minute drive from here. (unless the gray sludge ghouls murdered Walkable City Prime while i wasn't paying attention :eyeroll:) but that life would be an example of bondage fantasy. i like doing that a lot, and i find its actually great for reading and being able to picture what's going on. in theory you could say my fursuit bondage is permanent. and i like seeking out clothes that kinda have that vibe to them. its why i'm super into button-down shirts (the dagger collar specificity is for another reason) with long sleeves which have more than one button vertically or are configured for cufflinks to close them. and why layers of clothes appeal to me, such as shirt, vest, blazer. i know there's womens' alternatives and i want to try them too- these are familiar to me and play into some other stuff too so this is why i'm sticking to them in this uncertain time. ties are great too, just not too tight because i'm not into breathplay, these end up as "dog outfits" as far as i'm concerned. its also fun to play "hide the human body" even if there's no reason to. i just like seeing the skin covered. this is all more asexual and about the overall bodyfeel rather than just the one. being reminded of it later is when it can be, you know.
Plush is really important and one of the ones that's been on the fritz the most lately and i'm losing my mind because of it. being a plush is all about being able to relax because you can't move anyways. you're just a soft toy full of nothing but nice soft stuffing. not a care in the world, just stuffing, and whatever happens is going to happen and it will be okay. In actual use, this got me through a lot of overwhelming crowds at Disney World and i'd used it to get to sleep every night until i couldn't sleep anymore and have been up nights instead. Its pretty good for sexual play, too, because i would feel very comfortable with someone i'd trust enough to be a plush around, and i usually like to see what others can come up with in response to all the flowery and fun stuff i'm always on about.
Pooltoy is similar, but not the same. its a lot more mobile if still at the whim of others. it also involves the inflation and deflation which i see as a lot of things, but i'm fond of having my inner monolog hijacked (CONSENSUALLY) so some combo of hypnosis and identity play. i was planning on using this for vlogging but it hasn't quite had the wind put in it yet thanks to the stupid gray buildings i'm very impatient with. instead i seem to have been inflated otherwise and left to bounce. this is not exactly a bad situation, as far as wanting one fill and getting a different one, but i would have liked more say in the planning of it. I'm looking to build onto this, especially by further exploring actual inflatables.
hypnosis is one that it took me a while to get into because i'm naturally sort of just resistant to jumping on anything right away. but i wanted it to work on me, and so i got myself to believe and now it does. when i let it, obviously. when i'm hypnotized, i want to have everything laid out in front of me and be with only those i trust. and the "d**per and d**per" method is the standard and has been since the 1950s- its incredibly predictable and if you don't want something you can see it coming miles away and not engage. i find a ton of peace of mind in that, recognizing patterns and learning from history are the two things i do so well, its nearly automatically. not to mention the standardization i wish you'd all let be the modern low-cost stratosphere of products. but i digress, i want to let somebody all the way in, and there's things that i won't actively admit to that i would want corrupted by the right fur. the goofy theatrical interpretation is a lot of fun too. "you are getting sleepy, very sleepy. now when i snap my fingers you will quack like a duck and jump on one foot" makes a lot better role play than therapy session, though, and one could make a much funnier character/character's alter-ego around it.
alright, idk if that answers any questions anybody had or if any of this matters but there you go. i'm into exploring things and doing stuff and whatever. but i want the kind of care that can come effortlessly that 2000 disney world had which the shitty 201os remodels removed in favor of boring modular sleepy-time. i want to know i'm alive, and didn't just miss everything i ever wanted to do, born into a world ready to go into conscious hibernation because it refuses to get its shit together. is there any reason to keep living, or is the goal to destroy it all, replace it with colorless wastelands, z-tech, and customer-service platitudes and go to sleep in amazon warehouses? just tell me the truth so i can do what i'm gonna do about it.
......
assuming there's a reason to, i'll make a video sometime talking about why i'm a pile of rocks cat with the dancing rainbow cat name. i know i'm confusing to the un-inititated, i'm also currently having to re-learn the letters of the alphabet and how to put them together so when i learn that again i'll write the script and shoot the video, okay? all my lately ranting would be better served and more accurately conveyed by dismantling the establishment of identical "Furry YouTuber" video topics and integrating what I saw and experienced in my Furry so you can understand what it FEELS like and why this matters so much to me, and why it should matter to you too.
The plush stuff is super interesting. It does sound like a mindset super conducive to sleep, I'm sorry you can't work that up much more.
Sorry 4 not having a ton to say, I'd love to watch videos of yours tho your thoughts are always super interesting.
yeah, its also pretty good to get used to long car trips, as that's partly how i got mine. lots of cape cod trips and such. i miss it, but only if the seats are as soft as that old Buick's. though you know, even the late 90s and so on Volvos are good for it too. yes, you can also use it to drive, but i do not recommend trying to learn to angle it that way without a buddy or on long trips to start. i suppose a bench seat would be good too for corrections, but perhaps i'm just being overly cautious. i learned just fine in a '90 volvo and while driving at night on unfamiliar yet well-marked and main road.
its chill, stuff takes time to build up in back and forth and i'm not the best conversational partner these days- looking for that to change, but you know, realistically as of observable late.