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Noone's number 1 :D
6 months ago
It's actually funny.
I've caused people to be mad at me for being too far left, too far right, too whiny, too insensitive to others, too unhinged, too emotional, too cold, too law-abiding, too much of a rulebreaker.
How tf does that even make sense? You'd think I can find just a single group of people to piss off with my behavior and beliefs and that I could make lasting friendships with the rest.
But instead I've lost many close poeple over this.
For romantic situations, I was always a really interesting second option or sometimes, when noone else was there I was a really nice traumadumping hole for all that sad shit that noone wanted to hear at the moment. After the bad times were over, I wasn't useful anymore.
Hell, most of my closest friendships started like that and the only reason some of those people still try to talk to me once every 2 weeks is because they have the same problem as me and get left behind for someone slightly better every time.
Maybe at my core I'm just unlovable in some way.
I've caused people to be mad at me for being too far left, too far right, too whiny, too insensitive to others, too unhinged, too emotional, too cold, too law-abiding, too much of a rulebreaker.
How tf does that even make sense? You'd think I can find just a single group of people to piss off with my behavior and beliefs and that I could make lasting friendships with the rest.
But instead I've lost many close poeple over this.
For romantic situations, I was always a really interesting second option or sometimes, when noone else was there I was a really nice traumadumping hole for all that sad shit that noone wanted to hear at the moment. After the bad times were over, I wasn't useful anymore.
Hell, most of my closest friendships started like that and the only reason some of those people still try to talk to me once every 2 weeks is because they have the same problem as me and get left behind for someone slightly better every time.
Maybe at my core I'm just unlovable in some way.
The best approach is: don't share more than you must. And if someone tries to share with you political and social view,s just shut it down. Focus on common likes (movies, books, activities) and protect yourself from being used as a therapist or an intellectual punching bag.
That's the reality of human interaction. I will say, to have cognitive stimulation now-a-days, I used AI. Lol. Just to bounce thoughts off with a second 'mind'. Positive emotional engagement is: hobbies, activities and art. Not their problems, not their political/social views.
I believe we all deserve love. Im really sorry that you have gone thru so much social turmoil, it sounds very draining and painful
I hope you can find perspective and comfort, i wish you the best 🫂