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Update on Dad's Death
6 months ago
Hello everyone, a bit of an update.
The one thing we know more than anything was that dad wanted to be buried in the same graveyard as his parents… which happens to be in Louisiana. He never bothered to make any plans for his body’s transport from Houston TO Louisiana though… so that all fell to us. The only good news is the particular lot he’d be happiest with was available and, thanks to donated upkeep, we were able to get it for no change which is something…
Anyway past all of that we’ve opted for an internment… specifically because ALL the messes he’s left behind will require a certified copy of his death certificate to clean up (which can take 3 weeks or more to get) and we can’t GET any of those till he’s in the ground. That and we’re pretty sure dad wouldn’t like people just gawking at him in the state he was in and most of his friends who would come passed on before him. So Mom and I are going to Louisiana Monday to make the final arrangements and we’ll have a small service with likely only my aunt (dad’s sister, pretty much the only relative from his generation left who could attend) in attendance with us.
Then we’ll come back home and plan to have a proper memorial service for him sometime later when things have settled down a little. It’s not perfect but it’s the best we can manage considering…
As for how I’m doing… numb. Numb is the best term. I’m trying to keep dad’s business going (and fucking things up left and right since he left EVERYTHING in the air when he passed and they had to be done… tragedy or not) and dealing with the fact I’m more and more aware of how much everything in my life and the house just… bent to try and keep him happy. Try and keep him happy despite how bad he’d gotten physically and mentally. The feeling of “At least he can’t suffer anymore” mixed with the void he left and finding myself thinking “Dad wouldn’t like this/would want this” and remember he’ll never be a factor in this decisions again…
Right now I’m holding it together. Too much I need to do still. Just have to hold it together for now and the break later.
Anyway thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day.
The one thing we know more than anything was that dad wanted to be buried in the same graveyard as his parents… which happens to be in Louisiana. He never bothered to make any plans for his body’s transport from Houston TO Louisiana though… so that all fell to us. The only good news is the particular lot he’d be happiest with was available and, thanks to donated upkeep, we were able to get it for no change which is something…
Anyway past all of that we’ve opted for an internment… specifically because ALL the messes he’s left behind will require a certified copy of his death certificate to clean up (which can take 3 weeks or more to get) and we can’t GET any of those till he’s in the ground. That and we’re pretty sure dad wouldn’t like people just gawking at him in the state he was in and most of his friends who would come passed on before him. So Mom and I are going to Louisiana Monday to make the final arrangements and we’ll have a small service with likely only my aunt (dad’s sister, pretty much the only relative from his generation left who could attend) in attendance with us.
Then we’ll come back home and plan to have a proper memorial service for him sometime later when things have settled down a little. It’s not perfect but it’s the best we can manage considering…
As for how I’m doing… numb. Numb is the best term. I’m trying to keep dad’s business going (and fucking things up left and right since he left EVERYTHING in the air when he passed and they had to be done… tragedy or not) and dealing with the fact I’m more and more aware of how much everything in my life and the house just… bent to try and keep him happy. Try and keep him happy despite how bad he’d gotten physically and mentally. The feeling of “At least he can’t suffer anymore” mixed with the void he left and finding myself thinking “Dad wouldn’t like this/would want this” and remember he’ll never be a factor in this decisions again…
Right now I’m holding it together. Too much I need to do still. Just have to hold it together for now and the break later.
Anyway thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day.
Notes are always open if you wanna talk about it, but yeah I'm sorry for your loss and the place it has left you and your mother in.
And thank you very much -hugs-
We're here for you if you need anything.
While this is a time of loss, it’s also a time of growth as well where you can now figure out how to manage things with your decisions and preferences holding the most weight. It can actually be can of liberating in a way.
I'll see if there's liberation after the stress, numbness, and grieving abates some.