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Commissions, Restructuring, and Other Meow Meows
6 months ago
Hello, hello, I hope you are well!
Since opening commissions and launching Patreon I've had some thoughts, some revelations. I wanted to share them with you as I shift gears a bit going forward. It's all a learning process. But, in short, I find that my current set-up is clashing with my ambition.
Years ago I tried doing commissions ... like, years and years ago, back under my old FA account ... and didn't quite know how to charge, felt overwhelmed, and eventually petered out. Then, I returned to the fandom a couple of years ago, and went right into commissions again. I had this great structure that scaled with word count and ETA expectations. I was rather proud of it. I had a few folks jump on the opportunity (grateful!), but I still felt like my approach was the same as it was all those years ago. I'd accept a commission, set it aside, and then work on it some while after. The immediate spark of interest had faded by then. I'd have to rekindle it. Very counterproductive.
I then took a pause on commissions in 2024, moved to Germany, got married, and spent a while restructuring my commission process to bring things in line with a 30-day completion time. It seemed like exactly what I needed, even though folks would say not to worry, no rush. But I needed the fire under my butt. The new system went live alongside my new Patreon page and Discord server, and there was an immediate surge of interest. But, still, something hasn't felt quite right.
I'm not doing the work I want to be doing.
And yet... I am. I wrote a novella for my first Patreon reward, 'A Christmas C.A.R.O.L.'. Not the usual expectation, but this was a story I was writing for me. My passion, my interest, a culmination of themes so often presented in my personal works. Love. Loss. Melancholy. Nostalgia. Fetish, both on a logical sense, and on a fantastical sense. Exploring personalities, interactions, nuance. Settings that embody nothing short than the grandeur of imagination. By now my writing style had improved tremendously, even from when I'd returned to the fandom, even from stories like 'Good Vibes Only' and 'Synergy.' I could feel myself learning ... no, can feel myself learning. I watch videos regularly, I read more than ever, I've developed my voice, and find my style has evolved to something I personally find satisfying. 'Cotton Candy,' in its most-recent form, is really when I feel my writing style had a break-through. But, even still... still learning.
I started writing a few second-person stories. I tried really hard to write nice, full-circle stories with all of my usual in-depth detail, while keeping it short and succinct. And, I feel I have succeeded. My style gets a lot more punchy, especially when the action is full throttle, but I really enjoy these stories. It's a nice challenge to shift your style for a specific tone. I'd also done them in the hopes that they'd attract interest, that people would want to commission these stories from me. They're quicker to write, they're fun to write, they don't have to have much depth beyond the raw emotions and actions. I want to write more of these.
As of yet, no one has commissioned a single story like that.
My next Patreon reward was 'Ophidium,' a short story acting as a test-drive for a character I want to have as part of my someday series 'SynthWave.' I love the character, and I love what I wrote. It wasn't perfect, because elements of the setting and plot beyond this story weren't fully realized, but showcasing this character was just ... fun. I genuinely love this futuristic hypnotist character. I wish more would sign up for my Patreon so they could enjoy his story as well.
But, I also felt like I was writing in a way meant to appease others.
That, if I'm not writing transformation, or even trying to write hypnosis in a way that is thoroughly designed to entice, then I am not serving my audience well.
Authenticity is perhaps the most important thing to me. Being true to yourself, creating for yourself, and hoping that there are other weirdos out there who enjoy my weird, silly, no thoughts just meow meow brain.
The audience I should be serving well is... myself.
My time is precious, both from a personal standpoint, and a business standpoint. If I am not, on some level, doing this for myself, then why am I doing it? Grateful as I am for the commissions I've been working on, sometimes I feel like I am doing myself a disservice. I put a lot of effort into these stories, trying so hard to ensure that the story has continuity from start to finish, the foreshadowing is there, the subtext, the style flows beautifully, I'm playing with white space, I'm creating satisfying moments, I'm getting each and every little bitty detail perfect. Because you all deserve nothing less than my best. You deserve the end result that I am personally proud of.
It's a lot of energy to expend.
It gets me thinking that I really should stop trying to do what is expected of me, or what I think a writer in this fandom should be doing, and pursue my ambition in earnest. I want to be a novelist. I've wanted to be one since high school. Earlier. I wrote poetry in elementary school. My book reports were always too long. I have dreams of seeing my books in bookstores. Of holding a book with my name on it. Of creating a community around the books I write. I have so many plans and notes on turning 'Cotton Candy' and my new short story, 'Double Dog Dare' (exclusive to Patreon!), into a full novel series, 'RainGlow.' I am going to write 'Assimilation' in earnest, finally bringing this old project to new life and giving it the ending Nekko and Koga have always deserved. I have the CyberGenesis Innovations setting nosing around, and plan to do something special with it. 'SynthWave' is an epic future-fantasy chock full of transformation, dronification, and... I just have piles of notes on this one lol
I wrote my latest Patreon reward 'Double Dog Dare' as a short-story taste of what's to come for the RainGlow setting. I love everything about these characters, and I love everything about the setting. It is deeply personal for me, and I can't wait to start sharing this with you all in earnest. Technically I already have. 'Cotton Candy' will serve as the basis for book one, 'Double Dog Dare' as book two, and 'Glimmer' is going to be retconned into the setting to serve as book three. I have further plans beyond, as this series is that perfect blend of wholesome and holesome that I so often joke about myself.
I need to let myself explore my ambition fully, and so I need to restructure my commissions... again.
I am pausing new commissions for the moment while I finish up my queue (two stories to go!), and restructure myself. Again. While my pricing isn't changing, I have to put a cap on length and complexity. So, post-makeover I'll be accepting Vibe Check (short stuff around 1-2k words), Synthwave (around 3k words), and Cyberwave (around 5k words). I'll be favoring second-person point of view. I'm not closing myself off completely to complex story ideas, but for the sake of my own focus and energy I am going to have to learn to say 'no' more often, and hope for understanding. Also, when I open and accept commissions in the future it is because I want to write it today. Not accept it, earmark it, and return to it later. No. Today. Now. We are talking about it, and I am going to provide a story flow or outline now, and then I will get to writing it either that same day or the next, but either way, I am going to be actively working on it. Forgive me, this devolved into a bit of me chiding myself for my own habits lol
I'm also going to be reviewing my website, my commission form, and so forth. I think it is, perhaps, bloated. And perhaps even intimidating. I love the aesthetic and content I included, but ... maybe let's scale it back a touch, yes? So, it is what it is for the moment.
Patreon is going to be shifting to completely exclusive by the end of the year. Some of the stuff I post there will be delayed before releasing here, SoFurry, and AO3, but other stuff... I need to let some things remain exclusive as I fully shift focus to novels. Releasing chapter clusters. Things like that. I'd encourage you to check out my Patreon now, at least by pledging a single euro each month, just to give me that little extra boost. Five euros gets you access to new, original content, such as short stories and other larger projects. Ten gets you access to Behind the Vibe, a behind the scenes look at things like my writing process, style insights, character profiles, early drafts, and so forth. I'm actually considering doing that in a video format at some point. I do have VRChat...
» » If you're not already a Patreon member, you can check me out here! - https://www.patreon.com/SynthW4V3
I am enjoying the commissions I have been receiving, by the way, lest anyone presume otherwise. 'Down the Rabbit Hole' was a departure from my norm, but there were a lot of elements that drew me to the characters' relationship, and had me choreographing burlesque performances (a skill that will come in handy as I continue to write 'RainGlow'). 'Ripple Effect' was a wonderful tie-in to the CyberGenesis setting I am wanting to develop, and was just such a beautiful, classic transformation piece that hit all the right notes for me. 'Vectorium' continues to be a fun series, scratching that novelist itch and tickling everything I love about cyberpunk, Digimon, and Cruxes. 'Joining the Band,' a story I'll be releasing in the coming days, was such a great excuse to cut loose and write an existential horror piece. The remaining two I have are shaping up to be quite enjoyable as well. I felt the need to clarify that, perhaps more so to the folks who have been supportive and gracious enough to have me write their stories. These stories have helped me grow as a writer, and they are very personal to me, so while I am shifting gears for the future, I cannot express enough how much I have enjoyed these stories and opportunities.
There are other areas I need to review, and a lot of things I want to bring to fruition. I have a lot of projects to focus on. Projects I am genuinely having fun with. My husband is excited, and he is letting me lean on him while I sort through and figure out my career. I am still learning. And I know I have a lot of people rooting for me.
So, yeah, those are my thoughts for the moment. More to come, of course, cuz I can never stop yapping lol
Thanks for listening. Cheers 🌈💫
Since opening commissions and launching Patreon I've had some thoughts, some revelations. I wanted to share them with you as I shift gears a bit going forward. It's all a learning process. But, in short, I find that my current set-up is clashing with my ambition.
Years ago I tried doing commissions ... like, years and years ago, back under my old FA account ... and didn't quite know how to charge, felt overwhelmed, and eventually petered out. Then, I returned to the fandom a couple of years ago, and went right into commissions again. I had this great structure that scaled with word count and ETA expectations. I was rather proud of it. I had a few folks jump on the opportunity (grateful!), but I still felt like my approach was the same as it was all those years ago. I'd accept a commission, set it aside, and then work on it some while after. The immediate spark of interest had faded by then. I'd have to rekindle it. Very counterproductive.
I then took a pause on commissions in 2024, moved to Germany, got married, and spent a while restructuring my commission process to bring things in line with a 30-day completion time. It seemed like exactly what I needed, even though folks would say not to worry, no rush. But I needed the fire under my butt. The new system went live alongside my new Patreon page and Discord server, and there was an immediate surge of interest. But, still, something hasn't felt quite right.
I'm not doing the work I want to be doing.
And yet... I am. I wrote a novella for my first Patreon reward, 'A Christmas C.A.R.O.L.'. Not the usual expectation, but this was a story I was writing for me. My passion, my interest, a culmination of themes so often presented in my personal works. Love. Loss. Melancholy. Nostalgia. Fetish, both on a logical sense, and on a fantastical sense. Exploring personalities, interactions, nuance. Settings that embody nothing short than the grandeur of imagination. By now my writing style had improved tremendously, even from when I'd returned to the fandom, even from stories like 'Good Vibes Only' and 'Synergy.' I could feel myself learning ... no, can feel myself learning. I watch videos regularly, I read more than ever, I've developed my voice, and find my style has evolved to something I personally find satisfying. 'Cotton Candy,' in its most-recent form, is really when I feel my writing style had a break-through. But, even still... still learning.
I started writing a few second-person stories. I tried really hard to write nice, full-circle stories with all of my usual in-depth detail, while keeping it short and succinct. And, I feel I have succeeded. My style gets a lot more punchy, especially when the action is full throttle, but I really enjoy these stories. It's a nice challenge to shift your style for a specific tone. I'd also done them in the hopes that they'd attract interest, that people would want to commission these stories from me. They're quicker to write, they're fun to write, they don't have to have much depth beyond the raw emotions and actions. I want to write more of these.
As of yet, no one has commissioned a single story like that.
My next Patreon reward was 'Ophidium,' a short story acting as a test-drive for a character I want to have as part of my someday series 'SynthWave.' I love the character, and I love what I wrote. It wasn't perfect, because elements of the setting and plot beyond this story weren't fully realized, but showcasing this character was just ... fun. I genuinely love this futuristic hypnotist character. I wish more would sign up for my Patreon so they could enjoy his story as well.
But, I also felt like I was writing in a way meant to appease others.
That, if I'm not writing transformation, or even trying to write hypnosis in a way that is thoroughly designed to entice, then I am not serving my audience well.
Authenticity is perhaps the most important thing to me. Being true to yourself, creating for yourself, and hoping that there are other weirdos out there who enjoy my weird, silly, no thoughts just meow meow brain.
The audience I should be serving well is... myself.
My time is precious, both from a personal standpoint, and a business standpoint. If I am not, on some level, doing this for myself, then why am I doing it? Grateful as I am for the commissions I've been working on, sometimes I feel like I am doing myself a disservice. I put a lot of effort into these stories, trying so hard to ensure that the story has continuity from start to finish, the foreshadowing is there, the subtext, the style flows beautifully, I'm playing with white space, I'm creating satisfying moments, I'm getting each and every little bitty detail perfect. Because you all deserve nothing less than my best. You deserve the end result that I am personally proud of.
It's a lot of energy to expend.
It gets me thinking that I really should stop trying to do what is expected of me, or what I think a writer in this fandom should be doing, and pursue my ambition in earnest. I want to be a novelist. I've wanted to be one since high school. Earlier. I wrote poetry in elementary school. My book reports were always too long. I have dreams of seeing my books in bookstores. Of holding a book with my name on it. Of creating a community around the books I write. I have so many plans and notes on turning 'Cotton Candy' and my new short story, 'Double Dog Dare' (exclusive to Patreon!), into a full novel series, 'RainGlow.' I am going to write 'Assimilation' in earnest, finally bringing this old project to new life and giving it the ending Nekko and Koga have always deserved. I have the CyberGenesis Innovations setting nosing around, and plan to do something special with it. 'SynthWave' is an epic future-fantasy chock full of transformation, dronification, and... I just have piles of notes on this one lol
I wrote my latest Patreon reward 'Double Dog Dare' as a short-story taste of what's to come for the RainGlow setting. I love everything about these characters, and I love everything about the setting. It is deeply personal for me, and I can't wait to start sharing this with you all in earnest. Technically I already have. 'Cotton Candy' will serve as the basis for book one, 'Double Dog Dare' as book two, and 'Glimmer' is going to be retconned into the setting to serve as book three. I have further plans beyond, as this series is that perfect blend of wholesome and holesome that I so often joke about myself.
I need to let myself explore my ambition fully, and so I need to restructure my commissions... again.
I am pausing new commissions for the moment while I finish up my queue (two stories to go!), and restructure myself. Again. While my pricing isn't changing, I have to put a cap on length and complexity. So, post-makeover I'll be accepting Vibe Check (short stuff around 1-2k words), Synthwave (around 3k words), and Cyberwave (around 5k words). I'll be favoring second-person point of view. I'm not closing myself off completely to complex story ideas, but for the sake of my own focus and energy I am going to have to learn to say 'no' more often, and hope for understanding. Also, when I open and accept commissions in the future it is because I want to write it today. Not accept it, earmark it, and return to it later. No. Today. Now. We are talking about it, and I am going to provide a story flow or outline now, and then I will get to writing it either that same day or the next, but either way, I am going to be actively working on it. Forgive me, this devolved into a bit of me chiding myself for my own habits lol
I'm also going to be reviewing my website, my commission form, and so forth. I think it is, perhaps, bloated. And perhaps even intimidating. I love the aesthetic and content I included, but ... maybe let's scale it back a touch, yes? So, it is what it is for the moment.
Patreon is going to be shifting to completely exclusive by the end of the year. Some of the stuff I post there will be delayed before releasing here, SoFurry, and AO3, but other stuff... I need to let some things remain exclusive as I fully shift focus to novels. Releasing chapter clusters. Things like that. I'd encourage you to check out my Patreon now, at least by pledging a single euro each month, just to give me that little extra boost. Five euros gets you access to new, original content, such as short stories and other larger projects. Ten gets you access to Behind the Vibe, a behind the scenes look at things like my writing process, style insights, character profiles, early drafts, and so forth. I'm actually considering doing that in a video format at some point. I do have VRChat...
» » If you're not already a Patreon member, you can check me out here! - https://www.patreon.com/SynthW4V3
I am enjoying the commissions I have been receiving, by the way, lest anyone presume otherwise. 'Down the Rabbit Hole' was a departure from my norm, but there were a lot of elements that drew me to the characters' relationship, and had me choreographing burlesque performances (a skill that will come in handy as I continue to write 'RainGlow'). 'Ripple Effect' was a wonderful tie-in to the CyberGenesis setting I am wanting to develop, and was just such a beautiful, classic transformation piece that hit all the right notes for me. 'Vectorium' continues to be a fun series, scratching that novelist itch and tickling everything I love about cyberpunk, Digimon, and Cruxes. 'Joining the Band,' a story I'll be releasing in the coming days, was such a great excuse to cut loose and write an existential horror piece. The remaining two I have are shaping up to be quite enjoyable as well. I felt the need to clarify that, perhaps more so to the folks who have been supportive and gracious enough to have me write their stories. These stories have helped me grow as a writer, and they are very personal to me, so while I am shifting gears for the future, I cannot express enough how much I have enjoyed these stories and opportunities.
There are other areas I need to review, and a lot of things I want to bring to fruition. I have a lot of projects to focus on. Projects I am genuinely having fun with. My husband is excited, and he is letting me lean on him while I sort through and figure out my career. I am still learning. And I know I have a lot of people rooting for me.
So, yeah, those are my thoughts for the moment. More to come, of course, cuz I can never stop yapping lol
Thanks for listening. Cheers 🌈💫
sadly i currently have no more money to commission another story from you or have and idea for one.
Also yes, you have to put your interests above others, but also have to work with others as well to keep afloat. Again i am interested in reading more about your universes that you are about to make as well as more about how you will write further stories with dronification, hypnosis and the likes^^
I am also intrigued by how you would want to work with vr videos, will you do then collabs or what, or even want to make actual movies out of your stories if possible?
Keep on shining and have a great weekend, make your aspirations reality:3
A: You're sweet. I'm glad you enjoy, and continue to enjoy. As for your question, no I have no plans on collaborations or anything deep. This was just me 'thinking out loud' regarding my behind-the-scenes stuff for Patreon, for the Cyberwave tier. Currently, I write out an essay with some insights and all. Sometimes outlines, sometimes character insights, that sort of thing. I was entertaining the idea of doing this in a video format instead.