Hi guys, VG here!

I've been thinking, I would totally want to meet more new people, but there is a serious thing plaguing me at the moment. And that is the fact that after getting blocked randomly by a person, and also randomly being unable to further communicate with people, I am anxious that I might get randomly blocked undeservingly again.

Now, any normal person might just shrug that off. "Oh, they blocked me. Ok, who fucking cares." Well, I have long been having the pain of having relationships FUCKING sour thanks to unseen external factors that were out of the blue. Odd, you might think. VG cursing instead of just giving a thousand euphemisms and phrases. I mean, that is usually me. I have a certain thing about me, where I talk using metaphors and I convey my feelings via strange but oddly mature idioms. Today, I feel like just delivering in spades and just delivering how I fucking feel with no extra pizzazz and with just a shadow of older versions of myself that did not cite people like the Rock, CM Punk, Deadpool or people like Cody Rhodes inspire a new me that maybe had a more mature feel. I'm just plain pissed off, lonely, and worried.

Do not just come and see this and state that I'm complaining or bitching or whining. You know what I need right now? I feel like the people in my life are putting up a façade and don't feel real. I want to talk to people, the paranoia is a real bitch or has been a real bitch lately. The thing is, after that, I did not forget what happened to me. I have it trapped in me. I am enraged. I thought I was nice. Now, I still am reminded when I open up discord and see her username. I know she probably still blocked me for no FUCKING reason. And that just is plain wrong. Remember that long fucking journal where I said, "maybe tell me what I did wrong and maybe warn me so that I can learn from my mistakes?" Well, to reiterate that, that is still my mindset after the major snubbing of VG Virtuegen. I Call it the Snubbing of VG Virtuegen, and The Snubbing has haunted me and scarred me. I always check Discord and FA to make sure that I have not been blocked again by somebody that I know. Seriously, I really have some stress going on. It's spring. And I'm not sprung at all. I feel sad. You know why I feel sad? Well, I know for those still in school, it's probably prom season for juniors and seniors. And that reminds me of the other snubbing I had for thirteen fucking years of school.

And I really want to find a significant other in the furry fandom. A girl that would appreciate the work I put into being the nicest fucking person on planet Earth. I am the nicest fucking person on earth. I apologize for being in the way. I hold the door like a gentleman. I also shout out people on here, I take time out of MY day to compliment your fucking work. I think that somebody would maybe see just how much of a good person I am to care and befriend me or reach out to me. I don't want to try to reach out to people, no quiero hacerlo porque tengo miedo y creo que las persona va a creer que yo soy extraño.
No quiero ser la persona que tiene MI nombre en una lista. Una pinche lista, santa mierda. Sorry. I curse in Spanish when I am mad. I think that is the thing with me. I get mad and curse in Spanglish like I am Mexican. I'm not Mexican whatsoever, but I wish I had Mexican heritage. Fuck it, being an ugly ass gringo no es pinche divertido. No quiero ser americano, I don't want to be a fucking dumbass cracker that follows the orange man and his South African Nazi billionaire and his stupid ass cars. I hate my country. I think there are three main things I am feeling right now. First and foremost, I'm fucking lonely. And there is a cute or hot girl in my one Religions class at my college. Actually, I might let something slip. I know I say I am from SW Ohio, but I'm really from the lovely town of Dayton to be specific. Dayton has been my home for years, and I have lived there for years. Dayton's people bore me. Can I meet ANYBODY that is not acting like they are "cool" in the fucking "hood" or are a dumbass jock or their whore of a girlfriend? To make matters worse, I had a shitty ass fucking dream the other night. I dreamed that this girl was flirting with me and pretending to like she liked me, and I caught her and her friends laughing behind my back. A shitty ass dream still mocks my struggle, and I still can't even get a girlfriend in a FUCKING DREAM. Second, I am scared and stressed to death with the state of the United States of America with You-know-who and Mr. X ... I am scared with everything going on. I have no peace. Third, I have a stressful job. Yes, by the way, for those that know, I was fired from Get Air in November, and I got a job at a grocery market just within Dayton a few weeks ago. So, I have to drive a shitty ass route from my house to there (25 fucking minutes) and then waste two hours getting reminded to NOT GET DESTRACTED EVERY FIVE FUCKING SECONDS by my job coach. That's right, I'm so fucking retarded and autistic that I can't fucking work at my job without some other adult having to fucking babysit me. It's FUCKING embarrassing.

So yeah, my life has been hard, and to top it off, my sister steals the fucking spotlight and now; after falling ill again with Hypermobile EDS and all of that shit, she once again has made it so that I am pushed aside. And this is around the same time LAST YEAR that this happened. It's fucking all of the time. I know she can't control getting sick, I feel bad for her, but what about my struggles as the firstborn fucking child of the damn family?

Can I ever get a pat on the back or get told I'm doing good, I'm proud of you, VG? And my asshole of a father has once again been at odds with me, so I guess that I seriously am wanting an escape. I don't want to say this, but I'm depressed. I was happy that baseball is back, I'm happy I'm doing good in college, I am on a whole new sketchpad that I am drawing in again, but these three things spoil my mood, and now, I am left hungry and empty.

I hghly suggest reading this. This goes out the 85 people that maybe actually give a damn about VG Virtuegen.

Those that respond to this are the ones that give a damn about the fact that life is cruel to a person like me, and I feel small in this world. All I want is to be known and heard. And people are fucking assholes enough to rip me apart. I am thankful for Virtuegen nation and their support, but I think I am at a new low. So be aware that I am not in the mood to post now. I might give it a rest.

Thank you, Virtuegen fans.

-VG 💙💛🐾