My car's tire blew out. Luckily it was literally in front of a car tire shop. Guess that was my car saying April Fools? I'm picking it up today. However, I have been terrified to look at my bank account lately. This was the first time in a bit that I was forced to look. I am kinda shaken but I had to do it some day. I need to start doing something again to make money. I think I'm going to try to make a Patreon and really delve into my work. I would appreciate everyone's support, no matter how large or small. Even a simple message helps sometimes.

On another note, I've had no luck getting a primary care doctor. My state's insurance is basically useless after several phone calls going back and forth with companies for the last month. That means I couldn't contact a therapist because I have to get a referral. I'm fairly certain I have some form of major depression. I've been doing my own research and trying a few tactics to remain active and creative. At the moment I'm basically just sitting around until I'm bored enough to do something productive - dopamine fasting. It is hard on my brain sometimes but it is kinda working. I've also been bike riding and getting more sun. I mean hey, I had an interview a couple days ago after applying to places so something is working.

I still want to create things though, and I want to push harder toward making games. I am also still writing. I think the best thing for me to do is keep creating things no matter what the medium is and try not to force it. It's a win so long as I'm having fun. I admit that I play and watch too many games. It is an addiction toward quick and easy ways to get dopamine. I'm not addicted to drugs or anything but it is still negative. I mean some days I'd watch HOURS of Youtube and feel horrendous. If I'm serious about being creative, I have to eliminate these bad routines.

I am planning on setting up more commissions and a Patreon. I will definitely send out links when I get the chance to make everything look nice. Right now I'm just concentrating on getting my car fixed and finding a job. I've probably sent out a hundred applications last month. After reviewing my portfolio and resume, I've decided to completely remake both. After that, I immediately got a response... so good sign I guess????

Thanks everyone for keeping in touch. I really appreciate it. 👍