I honestly am not even sure that's true. I have been improving. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I'm opening myself up to friendships, taking steps to better myself where possible, and generally being happier. Is it all sunshine and rainbows? Absolutely not, I still have days where things feel bad. However, I recover far faster than I used to, I'm not tearing myself to shreds over mistakes, making lofty assumptions that cloud my view, or ignoring opportunities to better myself due to a feeling of unworthiness. New friends have helped me to see more value in who I am. I still regret so many past actions I've done, things which hurt those who cared for me. I can't take those back or undo them. I can only hope in time those who I've hurt can heal the wounds I caused. I am genuinely sorry, just to everyone who ever had to deal with me at my worst. Even if they never see it, perhaps sending it out to the universe will do something. I wish I could personally apologize to every single one, but that's not possible.
However, I'm still here, I'm still with myself, and I have good friends and am making more at a pace I'd never have imagined in years prior.
Point is; I feel a lot better about myself. I should be proud. I do feel pride in what I've accomplished. Here's to hoping I only get better.