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Sorry for the delays, I'm not doing well =>.<=;
5 months ago
Heya folks, your girl Gordy doesn't always post about her personal life here, but when people are waiting on me for commissions and stuff I owe it to you to provide some updates.
Long story short, I've been going through a pretty bad depressive spell. I've had such a hard time focusing lately and my mood has been the worst it's been in a while. Coming out as a trans woman at the worst possible time has certainly been a factor. Coming to grips with the realization that I'm NOT a man and re-thinking my whole self-image has been enough of a mind fuck, but adding to that the fact that I live in a country that's actively getting more and more hostile towards people like me every day has really sent my stress levels into the stratosphere. I just want to live as a girl and I can't for the life of me understand why so many people hate me and want me dead for that. I can't check my news feed each day without finding out some new way the world is more unsafe for me, it just gets to be too much sometimes.
On top of that, there's the constant pressure I put on myself to improve as an artist, the recent family loss, my horrible habit of worrying and overthinking everything, money woes, the fact that I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression, and I'm in a pretty horrible place mentally and emotionally right now. I'm sorry, I want to do right by the generous people who pay me their hard-earned money to make art for them. You know who you are, and I'm so tremendously grateful for your support. You chose me over the DOZENS of other artists who are just as good as me, and I want to prove that I'm worthy of that.
I'm still working to get work done for my generous supporters and commissioners and I appreciate your patience and understanding more that I can articulate. These bad times will pass, and soon enough I can enjoy peddling smut for my fellow kinky freaks again
That's all for now, my lovelies. Thanks again for your understanding, and I hope everyone else going through a bad time like me can reach the other side and find some peace.
I love you all.
Your girl,
~Gordian
SKETCH SLOTS
1.
2.3.
4.5.
6.
7.-16. RQ
COMMISSION QUEUE
1.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
2. RQ
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
3.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
4.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
5.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
6.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
Long story short, I've been going through a pretty bad depressive spell. I've had such a hard time focusing lately and my mood has been the worst it's been in a while. Coming out as a trans woman at the worst possible time has certainly been a factor. Coming to grips with the realization that I'm NOT a man and re-thinking my whole self-image has been enough of a mind fuck, but adding to that the fact that I live in a country that's actively getting more and more hostile towards people like me every day has really sent my stress levels into the stratosphere. I just want to live as a girl and I can't for the life of me understand why so many people hate me and want me dead for that. I can't check my news feed each day without finding out some new way the world is more unsafe for me, it just gets to be too much sometimes.
On top of that, there's the constant pressure I put on myself to improve as an artist, the recent family loss, my horrible habit of worrying and overthinking everything, money woes, the fact that I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression, and I'm in a pretty horrible place mentally and emotionally right now. I'm sorry, I want to do right by the generous people who pay me their hard-earned money to make art for them. You know who you are, and I'm so tremendously grateful for your support. You chose me over the DOZENS of other artists who are just as good as me, and I want to prove that I'm worthy of that.
I'm still working to get work done for my generous supporters and commissioners and I appreciate your patience and understanding more that I can articulate. These bad times will pass, and soon enough I can enjoy peddling smut for my fellow kinky freaks again
That's all for now, my lovelies. Thanks again for your understanding, and I hope everyone else going through a bad time like me can reach the other side and find some peace.
I love you all.
Your girl,
~Gordian
SKETCH SLOTS
1.
2.3.
4.5.
6.
7.-16. RQ
COMMISSION QUEUE
1.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
2. RQ
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
3.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
4.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
5.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
6.
STATUS - PAID, IN PROGRESS
You do not need to improve as an artist m'love get that straight in your head right now. Your work has such a unique recognisable style so much so that you make the rules on that. If you want to improve that's your deal but as a casual outside observer of all this wonderful awful smut I can assure you. Nah bollocks!
Please be comfortable in your art, even if you aren't comfortable in your skin right now. We are 100% on your side and love your work how it is now. One less thing to worry about is always a good thing and you really do have a lot to think about so just take the art off the list. Just throw it away you don't need it anymore it's great keep that up. In fact let's see some sloppy work, go for it unclench those standards.
As someone who is also diagnosed with chronic depression I can only hope you have or are in the process of getting the right medication for your condition. I assure you when everything balances out you will get better. That's all I can say.
Have my love my girl and you keep doing you cos it's wonderful to see.
Just know that your work is amazing and many people, I included, love to see your work and look forward to what you create next.
Turns out I was actually underestimating your anxiety, even if I was closer than I thought.
So yeah, just take as much time as you need to. Something would have to impact me personally pretty hard to ever stop supporting you. Youâre worth every ounce of love people give you.
We love you.
i keep trying to think of better things to say >3<
take your time, take care of yourself, you are valid and deserve rest and comfort
Take all the time you need, your stuff is so unique and dark and creative, you could take all the time and the world and still would have given us so much.
But more important than that, you are an PERSON, and a woman in a world that is punching down on women, so your mental health is infinitely more important than your output.
We are here for each other and they cannot erase us
The one thing they can never take from you is how you feel about yourself. There is great joy and great sadness in being queer, in being yourself. But youâve realized who you are, and thatâs a wonderful thing to celebrate. Theyâre afraid of your joy, your peace. The best way to fight them is to live. The easiest way to defeat them is to find happiness despite their attempts to take it away.
I have been struggling a lot as well. So I am unsure what to tell you that could help. Sending you a lot of hugs and well-wishes.