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Now that FA is stil down let's make a life update
6 months ago
Considering how long the old journal was up, no, I did not die of flu...thankfully!!! It did hold onto me for a very long time though, more than 3 weeks.
I have been pretty silent overall because in beginning of year I went through endometriosis excision surgery(+a few extras but don't wanna bloat this journal), which... was supposed to help?, but I still deal with side-effects which often make me feel worse than before the operation.
Before OP doctors would claim I will recover in 2 weeks. I did expect I might need longer so I reserved myself a month off. Three days after operations first side-effects popped up - constant bleeding, debilliating pain that OTC meds didn't work on, bloating, gut problems, bladder problems.... I contact my gyn, I contact the hospital - suddenly I hear from all of them: "it's normal! should pass in 3-6 months, clog your teeth!"
I've been dealing with doctors hiding information, dodging answers, dismissing me and gaslightning me. I'm in chronic pain and constant inflammation, because of which I work 4x as much for half of result. I was so happy when I went to OP thinking I would finally get help for this curse and while I'm 4 months in, I'm still barely holding my head above the water.
Doctors seem not to care about me as a person - all they care about is that I keep my uterus "because you will definitely change your mind". You can be dying of pain, but they would rather make you suffer 24/7 than loose a glorified human incubator. The mysogyny and sexism in healthcare is real and gynecologists are officially higher on my hate-list than HR job recruiters. Being a foreigner is a cherry on top. I've never felt so humilliated in my entire life.
My mood has rock bottom because of all of this, i'm doing my best not to let the dark thoughts win, but... yeah. It's hard, and making art is slow.
If you live in Germany and have/had to deal with endometriosis and/or adenomyosis treatment, feel free to reach out.
I really wish I could just sit and draw and not have to deal with this.
I have been pretty silent overall because in beginning of year I went through endometriosis excision surgery(+a few extras but don't wanna bloat this journal), which... was supposed to help?, but I still deal with side-effects which often make me feel worse than before the operation.
Before OP doctors would claim I will recover in 2 weeks. I did expect I might need longer so I reserved myself a month off. Three days after operations first side-effects popped up - constant bleeding, debilliating pain that OTC meds didn't work on, bloating, gut problems, bladder problems.... I contact my gyn, I contact the hospital - suddenly I hear from all of them: "it's normal! should pass in 3-6 months, clog your teeth!"
I've been dealing with doctors hiding information, dodging answers, dismissing me and gaslightning me. I'm in chronic pain and constant inflammation, because of which I work 4x as much for half of result. I was so happy when I went to OP thinking I would finally get help for this curse and while I'm 4 months in, I'm still barely holding my head above the water.
Doctors seem not to care about me as a person - all they care about is that I keep my uterus "because you will definitely change your mind". You can be dying of pain, but they would rather make you suffer 24/7 than loose a glorified human incubator. The mysogyny and sexism in healthcare is real and gynecologists are officially higher on my hate-list than HR job recruiters. Being a foreigner is a cherry on top. I've never felt so humilliated in my entire life.
My mood has rock bottom because of all of this, i'm doing my best not to let the dark thoughts win, but... yeah. It's hard, and making art is slow.
If you live in Germany and have/had to deal with endometriosis and/or adenomyosis treatment, feel free to reach out.
I really wish I could just sit and draw and not have to deal with this.
"all they care about is that I keep my uterus "because you will definitely change your mind"."'
Feeling this one ... I really do. Just wanted to let you know ... you're not alone.
I'm so sorry to hear you have to go through all this.
A friend of mine actually had her uterus removed entirely (she already has a child and is past the ... usual age you should have children) and she's like "It's the best thing ever, you should try it, too!" So there is hope. :)
"What if you change mind in 5-8 years, then you will sue us and the court will listen to you and not to us, because by the law you are too young" If I sue them for anything is to make us endure all pain and only get "clog your teeth" as a response
Before operation I even asked qualifying doctor if they could remove it if things point to it, and she just looked down on me. So I approached from the other side and asked that if they want me to keep it so bad and claim I'll change my mind, what is the percentage of possibility I will carry it and birth a health child. Doctor dismissed me with "I can't talk with you about it" repeatedly. A gynecologist xD who just made a through checkup xD
I also got hormonal IUD installed and everyone kept telling me installation fo it is the most painful part (which i will sleep through ) and that yay ! it will lower my pains and symptomes!...... and then after OP I get worst pain ever. I go to my gyn multiple times, i call with gyn in the Klinik and all of them say "oh.. yeah! it can cause pain! just clog your teeth! it usually lasts 3-6 months! its NORMAL!" 8D BRUH if I knew this is what I was signing up I would never ask for it. I ask if they can remove it then. "Oh but it will might make everything even worse" ...no words.
Kinda funny how they try to argue with "Maybe you'll want children in the future." when your chances of becoming pregnant are impossibly low to begin with ... *sighs*
Not sure if you even can sue over here ... depending on where you live that _may_ be an issue, but still ... they're kinda struggling with arguments.
Your doctors really seem to be hell-bent on not removing it which is weird and just ... sucks. A lot. I'm so sorry to hear you have to go through this.
IUDs _may_ help but they also _may_ backfire terribly. >.< However, having to wait a couple of months to see if there's any positive effect whatsoever is normal. :') Apparently they did a piss poor job at explaining everything to you. :/ An IUD isn't always the answer, I wish doctors would know that.
Stay strong. I hear the right mentality works wonders in getting back to health.
I'd imagine the key to health care is caring for your health. So whatever steps you can take toward that, I hope you'll remain diligent in taking them.
May the doctors get their act together and get your some relief. Can't imagine how it feels.
This is truly awful on what you going through and trying to enduring the pain after surgery, due its side effects. You deserve better, much better.✨🫂✨
i have traumatic experience with gyno as well but it is 1/10 of what you had to go through...I wish there would be any way to help you.
I am especially disappointed in Germany at this point...was hoping this country will treat women better than 3rd world ones. God damn it!
This shit puts me in rage how they burying your present for slightly possible "better" (in their opinion) future for you. I wish all this MF to experience the same situation you are in atm.