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6 months ago
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I'm turning the big 4 0 but i don't feel like it, I'm so divorced from that concept, like my mom was 40 when I was six, I don't feel like I could raise a six year old, I can't even take care of myself and depend on others to do that for me. I try and advertise my art commissions, sell my adoptables, and be a successful adult and bring in money but the economy isn't very profitable for vanity purchases and artwork commissions in the places I'm in. I feel bad advertising my things in my server or my friend's servers because they're my FRIENDS I know they don't have any money either right now, we're all broke.
When I was six all I wanted to do was play with paperdolls and to some extent I still do. I spent an hour yesterday making neopets shrinky dinks. I wish my mom was still here to see how much better at art I've gotten since she died.
I'm mostly just venting, I'm actually excited for my birthday, hats has been doing birthday crimes against me with friends and I'm excited to see what they are. I also get a small cake cupcake and I haven't had one of those since we had to move away from fort myers.
I already got one present, one of the 25th anniversary blind box aishas! I love that design so much and fell in love with it back when it was the sdcc exclusive. I wish I'd had enough money to nab one of the BIG ones they released but again, going back to vanity and luxury purchases being nonessential when survival is more important.
Thanks for reading if you did, hugs for all my subscribers!
When I was six all I wanted to do was play with paperdolls and to some extent I still do. I spent an hour yesterday making neopets shrinky dinks. I wish my mom was still here to see how much better at art I've gotten since she died.
I'm mostly just venting, I'm actually excited for my birthday, hats has been doing birthday crimes against me with friends and I'm excited to see what they are. I also get a small cake cupcake and I haven't had one of those since we had to move away from fort myers.
I already got one present, one of the 25th anniversary blind box aishas! I love that design so much and fell in love with it back when it was the sdcc exclusive. I wish I'd had enough money to nab one of the BIG ones they released but again, going back to vanity and luxury purchases being nonessential when survival is more important.
Thanks for reading if you did, hugs for all my subscribers!
I felt like this when I turned 30- because my mother had me when she was 30. It was a real 'oh' moment for me, I have always felt detached and it really put that into perspective. But then my mother told me something that has really grounded who I am in the years since (36 now) when I mentioned it to her as an off handed, silly thing.
She told me 'our lives aren't meant to match, they are meant to coincide.'
We are each our own unique puzzle piece, and no piece is better or worse than the next. We need every piece to complete the puzzle, right? My mother knew she wanted to be a mother when she was still a child, I knew i wanted to be an artist from as far back as I can remember, and I am sure you have to varying degrees always wanted to do exactly what you are doing now.
And that's good.
I am glad you have made another spin around the sun. I hope it's a lovely, lovely day spent doing things that make you happy. Things certainly are tough in our world right now, but we are here, we are alive, and light still shines even in the darkest moments. It's going to be alright.
I feel very childish a lot but like you're right, societal concepts don't fit everyone.
It has been a very lovely day so far and looks to be even better as the day goes!