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Of Community and Boundaries
5 months ago
Heya! I wanted to clear out my last journal post, as I have done a bit more retrospection since i posted it 4 months ago.
What am I up to? I'm overwhelmed. Between full time work, a design group project and being onboarded as staff for one of my favourite events, I am busy. It is a good busy. I enjoy what I do, or as best I can, one day at a time. Some days feel more overwhelming than others. This is the slippery slope of burnout I got stuck in last summer, hence why I've taken steps to prevent that from happening. My schedule this summer? Canfurence (probably?) in August and Camp Feral. That's it! Everything else is loosey-goosey, wibbly-wobbly, do-not-expect-me-to-show-up sort of things.
When I last said i was "taking a step back from furry things", that was a half truth.
I realize I enjoy this community, the furry cultutre, to an extent. There's something magic about the boundless creativity, the characters and aesthetics that arise in this space.
But.... there's a big "but" here.
Darby is a character. Darby is a fictional avatar, an extension of my identity in a particular lens, in a particular space. It's a facet of me. A shallow sliver.
I have come to realize, in 2+ years of heavy furry and local community event involvement, the amount of people who care about the entire Darby-person, *ME*, aren't as numerous as I thought.
Let me share my perspective, and recognize that the following is 100% my subjective opinion.
The GTA furry community space is one piloted by egos, where "drama" can and has exploded in ways that have destroyed events, friend groups and facets of community. I have witnessed this firsthand, and don't want to go into details because I recognize I only have "half" the story, nor am I owed the full explanation. As such I don't want to risk misleadingly spreading misinformation. Lemme ask you something:
What good is a community that doesn't communicate honestly?
What good is a "safe space" that refuses to acknowledge its history, its shortcomings, and learn and grow from them?
If you love and care about your peers, about the community and space you occupy, speak up. Be honest. Be accountable. If there's a problem, address it. We don't need to sugar coat and dance around the truth. Most of us are adults. ADULTS. Being a cute fox or whatever isn't an excuse to not be accountable for your words, your actions, and how you choose to express them. You can be UwU and also pay taxes. Plenty of furries thrive in that regard.
Calling my personal situation "stepping back" was easy... until my therapist pointed out I talked a lot about furries, which i wanted "nothing to do with".
So now... I have boundaries.
I have furry spaces, people, communities I still love. They just aren't as frequent or numerous. I don't need to be out partying, howling and whatnot all the time. I still enjoy these things, but in the words of professor oak: "There's a time and place for everything."
Right now my time and energy is better spent elsewhere. I'm still here. Still alive. Trying my best to be honest, easygoing, chaotic, flirty (?), funny, cute and every part of me.
I am so loved, and I hope you are too.
What am I up to? I'm overwhelmed. Between full time work, a design group project and being onboarded as staff for one of my favourite events, I am busy. It is a good busy. I enjoy what I do, or as best I can, one day at a time. Some days feel more overwhelming than others. This is the slippery slope of burnout I got stuck in last summer, hence why I've taken steps to prevent that from happening. My schedule this summer? Canfurence (probably?) in August and Camp Feral. That's it! Everything else is loosey-goosey, wibbly-wobbly, do-not-expect-me-to-show-up sort of things.
When I last said i was "taking a step back from furry things", that was a half truth.
I realize I enjoy this community, the furry cultutre, to an extent. There's something magic about the boundless creativity, the characters and aesthetics that arise in this space.
But.... there's a big "but" here.
Darby is a character. Darby is a fictional avatar, an extension of my identity in a particular lens, in a particular space. It's a facet of me. A shallow sliver.
I have come to realize, in 2+ years of heavy furry and local community event involvement, the amount of people who care about the entire Darby-person, *ME*, aren't as numerous as I thought.
Let me share my perspective, and recognize that the following is 100% my subjective opinion.
The GTA furry community space is one piloted by egos, where "drama" can and has exploded in ways that have destroyed events, friend groups and facets of community. I have witnessed this firsthand, and don't want to go into details because I recognize I only have "half" the story, nor am I owed the full explanation. As such I don't want to risk misleadingly spreading misinformation. Lemme ask you something:
What good is a community that doesn't communicate honestly?
What good is a "safe space" that refuses to acknowledge its history, its shortcomings, and learn and grow from them?
If you love and care about your peers, about the community and space you occupy, speak up. Be honest. Be accountable. If there's a problem, address it. We don't need to sugar coat and dance around the truth. Most of us are adults. ADULTS. Being a cute fox or whatever isn't an excuse to not be accountable for your words, your actions, and how you choose to express them. You can be UwU and also pay taxes. Plenty of furries thrive in that regard.
Calling my personal situation "stepping back" was easy... until my therapist pointed out I talked a lot about furries, which i wanted "nothing to do with".
So now... I have boundaries.
I have furry spaces, people, communities I still love. They just aren't as frequent or numerous. I don't need to be out partying, howling and whatnot all the time. I still enjoy these things, but in the words of professor oak: "There's a time and place for everything."
Right now my time and energy is better spent elsewhere. I'm still here. Still alive. Trying my best to be honest, easygoing, chaotic, flirty (?), funny, cute and every part of me.
I am so loved, and I hope you are too.
