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Hoo boy. Developments.
5 months ago
Hoo boy. There have been developments in the Atlyss situation over on Bluesky.
I'll open up with this. I'll admit, I was so caught up in feeling upset at my friend being shamed and dismissed that I downplayed the nastier messages and reviews Kiseff was getting. A random stranger gave me compassionate but constructive criticism on this point. I have since left a positive review, containing more constructive comments on the situation, asking people to be considerate of both Kiseff and the fat LGBTQ community. And honestly? If I need to, I'm willing to personally apologize to Kiseff for downplaying the nasty comments they got.
Who I'm not willing to apologize to, on the other hand, are all the other random strangers on Bluesky, who are honestly engaging in borderline harassment at this point.
Particularly not the person who congratulated a generic "I always knew the Atlyss drama was fake" reply with the smarmiest infantilizing language, clearly directed as a "haha I'm not touching you" jab at fat LGBTQ people concerned with what the situation appeared to be at first. They did this in a thread that my friend spoke up in. I had reason to believe their comment was helping contribute to the anxiety spiral my friend was having. So I told the smarmy reply person to cut the shit, and that as a non-binary person themselves, they should know better than to be smarmy and dismissive of fat women and LGBTQ people. I refrained from mentioning my friend by name, because I didn't trust this person to not turn against her and start straight-up harassing her. Of course I'm not going to let that happen.
Unfortunately, the sacred faerie kingdom rules of Bluesky, Twitter, and Tumblr discourse are that you never ever say things like "as a non-binary person, you should know better." While such cheap tactics should be avoided most of the time, I genuinely believe that if someone is being particularly hurtful or contributing to greater harm-- like in this case-- it's fair play. Smarmy reply person also decided that, because I wasn't naming who these fat women and LGBTQ people were, I was lying and acting in bad faith just to pat myself on the back.
This was their justification for blowing up my notifications with complete and utter vitriol. 12 Bluesky posts' worth of accusations that I left nasty comments on Atlyss, snapping that I'm "a predator who saw blood in the water," "a dishonest bad-faith hypocrite," and ended the whole thing off with a lecture on "personal responsibility," which in this case pretty obviously meant "apologize for snapping back at my abuse and do what I want."
Since they were willing to escalate that badly, I responded in kind. Told them how all they were accusing me of is bullshit, that just because marginalized people aren't responding to them directly doesn't mean they can't see their smarmy comments, and that the only "predator who saw blood in the water" here was the smarmy reply person themselves. Also told them to go back to 2013 anti-SJW world with their usage of the phrases "crybullying" and "hurt fee-fees," and that they don't get to cry abuse when someone gives them a wake-up call on their own behavior.
Smarmy reply person didn't want to take what they dished out, and did one last snip of me being a "narcissistic abuser" before blocking me. Honestly, good riddance to that fucking garbage. (Side note: We really should start using a term besides "narcissistic abuser" that doesn't stigmatize people with personality disorders and shift blame to them. Statistically, they're more likely to be abuse victims than abusers.)
But they're not the only one. A twitch streamer got snippy with me for saying we need to prioritize being considerate to the fat LGBTQ community and not blaming them for the misunderstanding. I got counter-snippy back at them. Their audience has been getting on my case for the last few days, though thankfully not as explosively as the smarmy reply person. Still, there's only so many times you can hear "you have no right to break the sacred faerie kingdom rule of Bsky discourse," "no one is blaming or harassing fat people" (factually and demonstrably false), "I'm fat and I knew better than to leave negative reviews and spread misinformation" (congratulations on being One Of The Good Ones assholes), and "learn some personal responsibility" before you get sick of it. The most recent person thought they were being cute by invoking Bojack Horseman and Todd Chavez. You can probably guess the clip :P
Bonus points go to the guy who told me I was "having a petulant little meltdown." I told them to stop invoking terms that the autistic community is trying to reclaim to mock people who are upset for valid reasons, before pre-empting the possibility of their saying "actually I'm autistic too and I would never act like you." Not only did the guy go on to effectively say that, but his buddy proceeded to interpret the situation as me mocking his buddy's autism. And these stream chat dumbasses said I was being deliberately obtuse >:P
Fun side note: most of these reply guys were men or on the masc side of non-binary. I wonder how they would've acted if, say, someone made a bad-faith vent post on the most rancid part of the internet, saying their ex-girlfriend slept her way to success, and the whole thing cascaded into a massive harassment campaign against women and trans people. It's not like that's ever happened in real life, right? It's not like another part of the reason I'm being so insistent on this issue is to avoid my past mistake on being a passive fence-sitter to such an issue back in the day, right? :) :) :) :)
I'll open up with this. I'll admit, I was so caught up in feeling upset at my friend being shamed and dismissed that I downplayed the nastier messages and reviews Kiseff was getting. A random stranger gave me compassionate but constructive criticism on this point. I have since left a positive review, containing more constructive comments on the situation, asking people to be considerate of both Kiseff and the fat LGBTQ community. And honestly? If I need to, I'm willing to personally apologize to Kiseff for downplaying the nasty comments they got.
Who I'm not willing to apologize to, on the other hand, are all the other random strangers on Bluesky, who are honestly engaging in borderline harassment at this point.
Particularly not the person who congratulated a generic "I always knew the Atlyss drama was fake" reply with the smarmiest infantilizing language, clearly directed as a "haha I'm not touching you" jab at fat LGBTQ people concerned with what the situation appeared to be at first. They did this in a thread that my friend spoke up in. I had reason to believe their comment was helping contribute to the anxiety spiral my friend was having. So I told the smarmy reply person to cut the shit, and that as a non-binary person themselves, they should know better than to be smarmy and dismissive of fat women and LGBTQ people. I refrained from mentioning my friend by name, because I didn't trust this person to not turn against her and start straight-up harassing her. Of course I'm not going to let that happen.
Unfortunately, the sacred faerie kingdom rules of Bluesky, Twitter, and Tumblr discourse are that you never ever say things like "as a non-binary person, you should know better." While such cheap tactics should be avoided most of the time, I genuinely believe that if someone is being particularly hurtful or contributing to greater harm-- like in this case-- it's fair play. Smarmy reply person also decided that, because I wasn't naming who these fat women and LGBTQ people were, I was lying and acting in bad faith just to pat myself on the back.
This was their justification for blowing up my notifications with complete and utter vitriol. 12 Bluesky posts' worth of accusations that I left nasty comments on Atlyss, snapping that I'm "a predator who saw blood in the water," "a dishonest bad-faith hypocrite," and ended the whole thing off with a lecture on "personal responsibility," which in this case pretty obviously meant "apologize for snapping back at my abuse and do what I want."
Since they were willing to escalate that badly, I responded in kind. Told them how all they were accusing me of is bullshit, that just because marginalized people aren't responding to them directly doesn't mean they can't see their smarmy comments, and that the only "predator who saw blood in the water" here was the smarmy reply person themselves. Also told them to go back to 2013 anti-SJW world with their usage of the phrases "crybullying" and "hurt fee-fees," and that they don't get to cry abuse when someone gives them a wake-up call on their own behavior.
Smarmy reply person didn't want to take what they dished out, and did one last snip of me being a "narcissistic abuser" before blocking me. Honestly, good riddance to that fucking garbage. (Side note: We really should start using a term besides "narcissistic abuser" that doesn't stigmatize people with personality disorders and shift blame to them. Statistically, they're more likely to be abuse victims than abusers.)
But they're not the only one. A twitch streamer got snippy with me for saying we need to prioritize being considerate to the fat LGBTQ community and not blaming them for the misunderstanding. I got counter-snippy back at them. Their audience has been getting on my case for the last few days, though thankfully not as explosively as the smarmy reply person. Still, there's only so many times you can hear "you have no right to break the sacred faerie kingdom rule of Bsky discourse," "no one is blaming or harassing fat people" (factually and demonstrably false), "I'm fat and I knew better than to leave negative reviews and spread misinformation" (congratulations on being One Of The Good Ones assholes), and "learn some personal responsibility" before you get sick of it. The most recent person thought they were being cute by invoking Bojack Horseman and Todd Chavez. You can probably guess the clip :P
Bonus points go to the guy who told me I was "having a petulant little meltdown." I told them to stop invoking terms that the autistic community is trying to reclaim to mock people who are upset for valid reasons, before pre-empting the possibility of their saying "actually I'm autistic too and I would never act like you." Not only did the guy go on to effectively say that, but his buddy proceeded to interpret the situation as me mocking his buddy's autism. And these stream chat dumbasses said I was being deliberately obtuse >:P
Fun side note: most of these reply guys were men or on the masc side of non-binary. I wonder how they would've acted if, say, someone made a bad-faith vent post on the most rancid part of the internet, saying their ex-girlfriend slept her way to success, and the whole thing cascaded into a massive harassment campaign against women and trans people. It's not like that's ever happened in real life, right? It's not like another part of the reason I'm being so insistent on this issue is to avoid my past mistake on being a passive fence-sitter to such an issue back in the day, right? :) :) :) :)
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