I sometimes forget what's so interesting about asphyxia and breathplay.

I recently watched a compilation of death scenes from Life(2017)(SPOILERS) and one of them had Calvin, the little alien thing, forcing its way down someone's throat. I know who this someone is, but it feels weird to mention famous people by name here.

Anyways. I was reminded of the visceral terror I experience just looking at it. It's horrifying. I nearly puked after. As it turns out, asphyxia is my biggest fear.

But counterintuitively, or maybe intuitively if you account for psychology, I'm totally into it.

That utter helplessness, relying on your body's relatively weak and feeble failsafes to save you, the crushing panick and despair and the incessant ache in your gut and chest not like any other pain you could experience. The feeling is unique and overwhelming. It's just so amazing, yet it haunts me.

I guess that's the reason I, like others I assume, draw a mental line and don't read into it past a certain point.