Wow... it's been a long time coming, eh?

Finally turning the big two one, it's quite the feat.

Let me take some time to reflect and update ya'll on my life so far:

So, first up, I wanna thank all the friends I've made on this journey, heck, all the people I've met, good and bad. If it weren't for all of you guys, I wouldn't be here now, maybe I'd be somewhere completely different. But, that's aside from the point. I don't really know what direction to take my life in. I want to please people, but I know if I try that, then I'll just want to quit and if no one's encouraging enough, I just freeze up, practically stunted. If I don't see results, I'll think no one wants what I'm making. So yeah, that's what that is.

Next, I finally have my own room after 21 years! Finally my own personal space to do what I want with! I may be happy with this, but I just feel somewhat... alone. Honestly, I want someone to cuddle, and plushies do the trick sometimes, but it's just... different with a person.

Then, there's the mental, someplace I often struggle to comprehend my own needs and put them below the needs of a friend or an acquaintance. An example of this is when someone wants a commission, is my friend, and can't afford it right now. Heck, I'd just do it free of charge cause that's what friends do! And when I somehow get those lucky raffle commissions and such, if I can't think of an idea, I just say to a friend, "Hey, if you were to get something from 'so and so' what would it be?", then I'd tell the commissioner the info and boom, gift for friend. But... I wonder if I'm too generous. I'm starting to go a little broke with the amount I spend making my others happy, less so for myself. I constantly get in these ruts of depression and thinking "I'm not good enough" or "I don't belong here", etc. It really wears down on me and... I don't know... I just wanna pretend I don't exist at times. Sometimes I don't wanna be myself. Mentally, I haven't really been doing so hot...

But enough of the sad slop I'm spilling everywhere!

Now then, some plans for the future here. I don't often post my art here at all, or anywhere else for that matter, except for twitter and bluesky. I have my own personal discord server I use for sharing art and stuff, but... yeah. Art is still a little side hustle I do to try getting my name out there, and I'm still quite small in comparison to everyone else. But I won't go into that, because comparison being the killer of fun and all. However, I like seeing results from art I do to make sure I'm actually improving, not being stagnant. In addition to that, I'm currently looking for a job to make some extra money for the switch 2, oh boy I'll need it... I wanna get back into writing again, but I haven't a clue where to start. I used to love writing way back when.

So... I think that's all. 21 years is a long time to be alive, you know? Sure feels like it anyways. Anywho, thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I hope ya'll have a wonderful day :3

(also, comms open cause summer :3)