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20250607R1400
3 months ago
Still Here
I've taken a seat back in the Peanut Gallery again and have just been reading, chatting in the Telegrams and Discords I belong to, and am thinking about life and what I'm doing Now.
The weekend weather has been rainy recently and that makes my Old Doggo Bones hurt. I have had to sit up in the middle of the night a few times this week.
After padding around the apartment and having a cup of tea or Miso soup and watching a little TV, I would go back to bed and to push myself to work with under four hours of sleep.
Less Active
I passed on a Pinball meet last weekend as I wasn't up to it after my sleepless work week days, and this weekend is going to rain off and on. I got up near noon today try after trying to "catch up" on my sleep -- after being up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night -- and took a quick trip to the market. That's enough for now.
Lost in Reading
I did some reading last night during my sleepless hours: I re-read The Little Beirut series by Miles Larson -- about a narcissistic newscaster Tanuki at the apex of his career in Oregon and the people in his orbit: director Black Bear Nicola, camera fur Racoon Billy, and off again, on again lover, a hare named Penny.
This was one of the first furry novels I found and Miles is a good artist. We had some discussions about how anthros adapt to human based tech (automobiles, computer, cameras) and deal with anthro specific issues (special fur traps for showers to prevent clogs, shedding and the issues of fur care [grooming, but having to mind phrasing for clarification]). Even details about how the anti-hero Walther's tail goes numb if he sits on it the wrong way.
Furry World Parameters
The above story and things like BNA and Zootopia (as well as Hanna Barbera cartoons) set my world view of furries and where Charlie would live and work: just a world with a range of sentient species, doing normal 20th century things. I can even regress to an earlier time and I have explored a 19th Century agrarian / seafaring life thanks to the influence of Vixyy Fox and Scanectity 's Valley.
IRL, I had worked towards a life in the Navy, and fantasized about being a carrier pilot; sadly my body kept me out of service, but I am still enamored with the romance of propeller driven aircraft and ships from the age of sail.
Don Knott's "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" about a man turned talking fish was an early story that influenced me. This fit in with my Dad's WW2 Pacific service in the rear area and all the SNAFUs and FUBARs that he related -- Yes Commander Binghamton, they did drain alcohol off the torps for "Jungle Juice" and coconut tops and grass skirts were broken out soon after -- could have come from a McHale's Navy episode.
Little Charlie Wants to Fly
Before and after WW2, my uncle and father built flying models (Bananna Oil!). A family treasure was a control-line F-6-F Hellcat my uncle built; said uncle died early and his plane was the measuring stick of every model aircraft I ever built.
The Blue Max came out in 1966 -- about the rise of a WW1 German pilot, and I recall being fascinated with the dogfights of those fabric covered machines (I had started constructing tissue covered wings about that time) and 1968 was the 50th anniversary of the end of the Great war, and around that time, I found out about Snoopy and the Red Barron.
Snoopy and the Red Barron (Charles M. Schultz) ignited my love of romanticized WW1 aircraft. I built many Guillow's WW1 aircraft including the Sopwith Camel and a Fokker D-8, but never a DR-1 (the tri-plane).
I did play the grooves off the Royal Guardsmen's single "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" and then "Snoopy's Christmas," and watched the Peanuts cartoons broadcast on TV featuring Snoopy pretending to be a WW1 Combat Ace on the top of his dog house -- first in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown."
Building flying models and a few hops in civilian aircraft at air shows were as far as I ever got with aviation.
My focus shifted and I looked for a way of earning a living, and computers became a part of the tools of my trade. I then found PC gaming in the late 1980s and early 1990s. I got to Fly in an X-1 and be chewed out by Chuck Yeager when I augered in and flew WW2 missons when Lucas Film software released air combat sims: Battle of Britian, Battlehawks 1942, and Secret Weapons for the 50th anniversaries of events from the Second world war. I was finally able to get chairborn.
Finally, VR in 2020 put me into a virtual cockpit and I could grab the joy stick and throttle and twist and turn, get a small taste of aerobatics and dog fighting -- without the g-forces and danger.
Old Soldiers and Furs...
I'm past daring do, and am not as enthused to game as I was. My eyes get tired quicker, and I now only play a hour or two several times a week, but I am glad for the technology that feeds my head. It's even better than the final scene of Soylent Green where an aged Edgar G. Robinson is put in an I-max theater type of room for his "termination".
I can now talk to Furs and interact with them in virtual worlds. This suits me much better than running to conventions and meets; I am knackered after more than a two hour drive and have little energy reserves after that drive to suit and play. Finally, the cost of things has reduced my fun money. The old wartime cartoon with Woody Woodpecker asking "Is this Trip Really Necessary" strikes a chord with me, and often the answer is "no."
Honestly, i am in a quieter phase right now, and haven't even been doing much in VR, as my schedule doesn't match up with many of the furs I know. I drop some messages and play on Telegram, Discord and X and that is enough for now.
I am conserving my energy, and focusing more on Being for now. I have to do things one day at a time, IRL, as I can't guarantee how I'll feel in the future. Work and chores takes up most of my energy, given my health for now. I am Accepting that and being Mindful of it.
Part of my Mindfulness is meditating on the impermanence of things.
10 years ago I was barely starting out in my last, best job to date. I just closed my mom's home and had no time for myself.
5 years ago I was just starting exploring The Furry Fandom, and came to widdershins with a long time friend over it.
4 years ago I was forced to move and began my journey alone.
And Now I am Grateful for what I have experience and Mindful of how the only thing that is constant is change.
My five year plan has me moving into affordable housing, but that is only a dream of what might be. TBD.
In Closing
I still love the Fandom and have forgiven myself enough over not learning to fly to where I have gone back to enjoying aviation movies, videos, and documentaries.
I don't need to be physically involved to appreciate things and this is a lesson I am taking forward with me in my journey.
I Ain't Done Yet
I am changing, however, and have come to accept the latest version of me. Something I couldn't do earlier in my journey.
Until next time
I've taken a seat back in the Peanut Gallery again and have just been reading, chatting in the Telegrams and Discords I belong to, and am thinking about life and what I'm doing Now.
The weekend weather has been rainy recently and that makes my Old Doggo Bones hurt. I have had to sit up in the middle of the night a few times this week.
After padding around the apartment and having a cup of tea or Miso soup and watching a little TV, I would go back to bed and to push myself to work with under four hours of sleep.
Less Active
I passed on a Pinball meet last weekend as I wasn't up to it after my sleepless work week days, and this weekend is going to rain off and on. I got up near noon today try after trying to "catch up" on my sleep -- after being up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night -- and took a quick trip to the market. That's enough for now.
Lost in Reading
I did some reading last night during my sleepless hours: I re-read The Little Beirut series by Miles Larson -- about a narcissistic newscaster Tanuki at the apex of his career in Oregon and the people in his orbit: director Black Bear Nicola, camera fur Racoon Billy, and off again, on again lover, a hare named Penny.
This was one of the first furry novels I found and Miles is a good artist. We had some discussions about how anthros adapt to human based tech (automobiles, computer, cameras) and deal with anthro specific issues (special fur traps for showers to prevent clogs, shedding and the issues of fur care [grooming, but having to mind phrasing for clarification]). Even details about how the anti-hero Walther's tail goes numb if he sits on it the wrong way.
Furry World Parameters
The above story and things like BNA and Zootopia (as well as Hanna Barbera cartoons) set my world view of furries and where Charlie would live and work: just a world with a range of sentient species, doing normal 20th century things. I can even regress to an earlier time and I have explored a 19th Century agrarian / seafaring life thanks to the influence of Vixyy Fox and Scanectity 's Valley.
IRL, I had worked towards a life in the Navy, and fantasized about being a carrier pilot; sadly my body kept me out of service, but I am still enamored with the romance of propeller driven aircraft and ships from the age of sail.
Don Knott's "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" about a man turned talking fish was an early story that influenced me. This fit in with my Dad's WW2 Pacific service in the rear area and all the SNAFUs and FUBARs that he related -- Yes Commander Binghamton, they did drain alcohol off the torps for "Jungle Juice" and coconut tops and grass skirts were broken out soon after -- could have come from a McHale's Navy episode.
Little Charlie Wants to Fly
Before and after WW2, my uncle and father built flying models (Bananna Oil!). A family treasure was a control-line F-6-F Hellcat my uncle built; said uncle died early and his plane was the measuring stick of every model aircraft I ever built.
The Blue Max came out in 1966 -- about the rise of a WW1 German pilot, and I recall being fascinated with the dogfights of those fabric covered machines (I had started constructing tissue covered wings about that time) and 1968 was the 50th anniversary of the end of the Great war, and around that time, I found out about Snoopy and the Red Barron.
Snoopy and the Red Barron (Charles M. Schultz) ignited my love of romanticized WW1 aircraft. I built many Guillow's WW1 aircraft including the Sopwith Camel and a Fokker D-8, but never a DR-1 (the tri-plane).
I did play the grooves off the Royal Guardsmen's single "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" and then "Snoopy's Christmas," and watched the Peanuts cartoons broadcast on TV featuring Snoopy pretending to be a WW1 Combat Ace on the top of his dog house -- first in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown."
Building flying models and a few hops in civilian aircraft at air shows were as far as I ever got with aviation.
My focus shifted and I looked for a way of earning a living, and computers became a part of the tools of my trade. I then found PC gaming in the late 1980s and early 1990s. I got to Fly in an X-1 and be chewed out by Chuck Yeager when I augered in and flew WW2 missons when Lucas Film software released air combat sims: Battle of Britian, Battlehawks 1942, and Secret Weapons for the 50th anniversaries of events from the Second world war. I was finally able to get chairborn.
Finally, VR in 2020 put me into a virtual cockpit and I could grab the joy stick and throttle and twist and turn, get a small taste of aerobatics and dog fighting -- without the g-forces and danger.
Old Soldiers and Furs...
I'm past daring do, and am not as enthused to game as I was. My eyes get tired quicker, and I now only play a hour or two several times a week, but I am glad for the technology that feeds my head. It's even better than the final scene of Soylent Green where an aged Edgar G. Robinson is put in an I-max theater type of room for his "termination".
I can now talk to Furs and interact with them in virtual worlds. This suits me much better than running to conventions and meets; I am knackered after more than a two hour drive and have little energy reserves after that drive to suit and play. Finally, the cost of things has reduced my fun money. The old wartime cartoon with Woody Woodpecker asking "Is this Trip Really Necessary" strikes a chord with me, and often the answer is "no."
Honestly, i am in a quieter phase right now, and haven't even been doing much in VR, as my schedule doesn't match up with many of the furs I know. I drop some messages and play on Telegram, Discord and X and that is enough for now.
I am conserving my energy, and focusing more on Being for now. I have to do things one day at a time, IRL, as I can't guarantee how I'll feel in the future. Work and chores takes up most of my energy, given my health for now. I am Accepting that and being Mindful of it.
Part of my Mindfulness is meditating on the impermanence of things.
10 years ago I was barely starting out in my last, best job to date. I just closed my mom's home and had no time for myself.
5 years ago I was just starting exploring The Furry Fandom, and came to widdershins with a long time friend over it.
4 years ago I was forced to move and began my journey alone.
And Now I am Grateful for what I have experience and Mindful of how the only thing that is constant is change.
My five year plan has me moving into affordable housing, but that is only a dream of what might be. TBD.
In Closing
I still love the Fandom and have forgiven myself enough over not learning to fly to where I have gone back to enjoying aviation movies, videos, and documentaries.
I don't need to be physically involved to appreciate things and this is a lesson I am taking forward with me in my journey.
I Ain't Done Yet
I am changing, however, and have come to accept the latest version of me. Something I couldn't do earlier in my journey.
Until next time
Ya know, being just over sixty years of age mahself, you touch on many things that I too have pondered over, and one thing keeps coming to the fore of my mind- Just look at ALL THE THINGS that has happened in our one, short lifetime? 'I' started during the Vietnam War for instance. Of course 'I' was a tad too young to really understand things, but 'I' certainly saw/heard things from folks who did, and who experienced it. Going forward, all the 'Migrant Workers Rights,' then the 'Gay Rights/Pride' marches and protests for equal Rights/Laws (Marriage being a major topic), and I don't even know how or where to start on all things technological?! Egads, watching the original Star Trek on our B/W Zenith, seeing those computers/laptops/communicators, and now they're HERE?!
Where's the damned handheld phasers I ask? ;-P
It is the suck that our aging bodies start acting up more. Well, for most of us. Some seem immune to this, the lucky bastards! lol
I'm now sidelined. Mostly. I'm no longer a participant, really. IF I get into anything it's usually going to happen against my plan(s)/Will, but IF it happens, well, I'll do what I can with what I've got.
's all any of us can truly do, after all.
Take as good care of yerself as you can. Maintain YOUR sanity (Or, what's left of it?), as you can.
For myself, I consider YOU to be a good Soul, and I love reading what you're willing to write. We'll probably never meet IRL, to shake hands, share a (((Hug))), enjoy a few drinks at the bar and reflect on stuff face-to-face, but wouldn't that be fun if it happened?
Live for what we can, enjoy what we can, 'cause this ride doesn't last forever, and no one truly knows what's waiting for us on the 'Other side,' till we get there.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Aniwayas
I've been wanting to write more, and in looking for subjects to write about (especially for Charlie stories), I keep asking "What Would Charlie Do?" My topics becomes conflated with actual life experiences and interests, and they get stirred together into use by my fursonality.
The Vietnam / Civil Rights era was also the time of my earliest memories as well. My brother (13 years older, and a true Boomer) went to Vietnam in the summer of 1966, and my mother and father took him down the Eastern Seaboard to Norfolk to report -- with preschool me in tow.
One of my earliest memories was going over the Chesapeake Bay bridge and then dismissing the teary farewell. I didn't understand what was going on in the world at that time either; not the armed conflict abroad or the riots at home (my parents and I were caught up in one, once, but my cute little self was part of why we were permitted to go on our way unscathed by an unknown kindly participant). [OK, I WAS Once Cute, but no more]
My becoming mostly cognizant in the latter half of the 1960s also had me seeing the Apollo program launches live and on TV news, and I had models of spacecraft: the Gemini capsule, then the Saturn V, and finally the United States Missile Arsenal used during the Cold War to that date.
Despite my precocious interest in rocketry and chess, I was discouraged from studying science and becoming an "egghead." It was drilled into me to join the Navy and then get a factory job -- true blue collar advice from my elders.
Thus my die were cast, but I rolled Snake Eyes healthwise.
Maybe it's advanced age, and having lived a life but unringing the bell of my life in my writing is a challenge -- despite a failed attempt at being an English Major with a love for Rhetoric.
It's true we will probably never meet IRL, but we could hoist a flagon in a VR tavern or even just in our minds. A Simultaneous Toast, if you will.
Again, thanks for encouraging my rambling.
trust me - I do a lot of reflecting too. Life is like that.
*hugs....
Vix
Treasures indeed.
Vix