Hi guys, VG here!

Uuh, is it just me, or am I really wanting to meet a girl soon?

To be frank, I actually met a girl at my college. Eagel knows what I mean. Thanks to him, I actually had the confidence to approach her and try to keep in touch during the summer. But oddly enough, the thing is, I have had NO contact with her. And the one journal where I expressed how mad I was to see [Redacted] with my former crush at church? Double Whammy. Now I'm really kicking myself because I suck at talking to women. Tbh, I really have wanted to meet the girl of my dreams. It's like the American dream but for neurodivergent people that had no friends because society was a cunt to them and kicked them out and told them "Good luck and figure shit out on your own" and proceeded to skull-fuck me and fuck me in the ass when I tried to make amends and try to sit back in the saddle. It's sad, because with all of my potential, I see a future where I actually have a fursuit, a wife, kids or maybe grandchildren. And I see a future where I am probably middle-aged and either homeless or still living in my parents' fucking basement like a retarded Goddamn incel bitch with nobody and no time but to jerk off to porn and fucking be depressed in a mice-infested, piss-smelling Goddamn fucking basement.

That really sounds wrong the way I said that I'm sorry. I'm lonely and angry at the moment. My art and stories, where is the commercial success I wanted? I look up to the Hyroes, Majira Strawberries, BetaEtaDelotas and Uncle Kages of the fandom that are the apex. I'm at the bottom of the fucking food chain. I'm trying too hard. I want to be happy.

There is a list of things I want in life because I feel empty.

1. Fursuit
2. For my works to be popular
3. A girlfriend
4. to not be lonely
5. Get a sustaining job that WON'T fuck me over

I should make a list of what I am GRATEFUL FOR, but please, gimme one more second before I digress into that.

I think I'm horny as hell and wishing I had a girl. Or God, at least make me gay, being a faggot and getting fucked in the ass is better than being single. I don't give a fuck, GIRL? BOY? Walmart Bag? Fuck it. I think I should have been able to succeed and be able to not chicken out every time I wanted to talk to that really hot girl that I saw in class or down the street. It's bullshit.

Pride Month actually has been okay. I think Pride month was fine under Sleepy Joe, but with TACO the orange Temu Jesus Cult Guy that reminds me of FUCKING Jonestown and the Kool-Aid, I've kept to myself, on the account that some retarded fucking hick with a strong Southern accent is going to try to fight me and say "YeR GoInG tO HELL fAgGoT gAy Is A SiN" and try to force religion on me when I already WAS a Christian. I was. I'm a Methodist, for God's sake. I have like five Bible copies in my room. Like I said, I go to a church I went to as a kid all of the time. Jesus is my friend. yet at this point, Christ is frustrating to believe in because they are HYPOCRITICAL and bigoted. If I ever move out of my parent's place, fuck it, I'm converting my house to a Buddhist monastery.

I'm beating myself up over this, I'm sorry. I love all of Virtuegen Nation, black, white, woman, man, child, adult, gay, straight, you name it. I love all of my followers. I know I complain a LOT about how I really don't get seen much. I'm rare. I'm a rare spider you never see. Only rarely do you see me. I'm like a fucking Black Widow Spider, you rarely see me, I am secluded, but if you bother me, my bite is VENOMOUS as fuck. And you won't turn into Spider-Man, you'll die like Harry Goddamn Carey did. Or Jeff Hanneman of Slayer in 2013. Or Darlyn Morias. It's just I plead and beg that people understand that I was the victim of a cruel fucking system that hit a low blow on me every day that I tried to blend in. And I'm trying to be known in the fandom because I would want to be awesome and seen for my talent and vision. To have my own WikiFur page that highlights the awesome one-of-a-kind universe that has been alive since 2013 and still is kicking. To be known NOT for DRAMA and instead for my achievements in the fandom.

AS for what I am grateful for so far:

1. For friends on FA
2. To be able to survive for a year with NO drama
3. To have a loving fanbase
4. I am glad I have people like Eagel and Lael
5. To have a multiverse that is awesome
6. To have people hear me out with my vents
7. To have creativity and a smart brain
8. To have ADHD (and potential Autism, IDK have not been tested yet)
9. To be VG Virtuegen
10. Artistic talent

I am grateful for these things. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have these things.

Anyway, I digress; I'm finished. I had to get that out of my system, because I'm pissed off. I love all of you.

Ciao.

-VG 💙💛🐾